It makes my now empty core pulse some more, and I want him. I want more.
His cock rests between us, a hard ridge I want to rub myself on.
“Not tonight,” he whispers into me as I act out my thoughts.
“But—”
“My impatient little virgin, I want to take my time with you.”
“You’re being gentle with me,” I accuse.
He smiles against my lips. “I might be that way sometimes. You’re mine and I’m very protective of you. But I’ll only be gentle when you need it most. If I fuck you right now, I’ll hurt you. I’ll make you bleed more than you already will. And while part of me revels in that depravity, the rational side of me knows that’s not how your first time should go. Okay?”
Mine.The word reverberates through my skull, but I force myself not to dwell on it. He’s being possessive, not romantic.
“Okay.” I prop my chin on his chest and gaze at him. He throws an arm behind his head, propping himself up and throws his other one behind my neck to pull me closer. For a few moments, that’s all we do. Stare into each other’s eyes, the fire’s crackling the only sound. It feels weird and yet not at all, which is maybe why it feels weird. “We never finished talking.”
“For fuck’s sake. My dick is still hard, I’m dying for you, and you want to fight more about my children with me?”
I lick the seam of his lips. “I never said fight.”
“That’s what we do.” He squeezes my ass and spanks it once.
“Only because you’re stubborn and don’t listen.”
He sits up on a frustrated growl, taking me with him and settling me on his lap. He adjusts my skirt and picks up my bra, slipping it on my shoulders and clasping the hook in the back. Then he takes my breasts and adjusts them in the cups, one by one, until he has me just right.
“That’s the first time you’ve touched those.”
“I know. It won’t be the last.”
“You could do that now, you know. I’d happily unzip you and you could slide yourself between them.”
He falls back to the floor in a heap and tosses his arm over his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose, his jaw locked tight.
“Bad idea?”
“It’s been years since I’ve fucked, Bellamy, and you’re talking to me about fucking your perfect tits.”
“So?”
“So, I need a minute.”
“That’s all it will take you? I have to admit, I assumed even with the years between sex, you’d last longer than that.”
His forearm falls behind his head onto the floor, and he studies me, a daring glint in his eyes. “That’s the game you want to play with me right now?”
I rein in my smile that is so very desperate to slip out. “Yep.”
“I thought you wanted to fight more.”
“‘Talk’ is the word I used, and maybe we could do that after I play with your dick.”
He curses in Latin and says, “Remember, you asked for it. On your knees. Remove your bra but leave your skirt on.”
I can’t scramble off his lap fast enough. Anxious for more. Ready for wherever he’ll take me. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe I’m fucking with my job. With potentially losing the kids. With my father’s security. But he already told me he can’t lose me, and I promised whatever this is won’t interfere with any of that.
I like to imagine I can keep that promise, even if I’m likely being a bit naïve with it.
