“Do you believe in it?” I don’t dare say the word.
Her hands meet her hips, and her face casts down to the floor. “I don’t know. I’ve gone back and forth a lot over the years. There seems to be an evil that seeks this family out.” She meets my eyes again. “You think their spirit is being stifled.”
It’s not a question, but I answer her all the same. “Yes. I do. I think they need more.”
And part of me thinks denying them that would be the biggest tragedy of all. You can’t run and you can’t hide from loss. It finds you no matter where you go. And you can’t buildup a fortress to protect yourself from what this world has to offer, good or bad.
My father tried. He wasn’t able to stop running. Because of that, I was alone a lot. I grew up faster than I should have. Yes, I learned independence and how to be resilient…but I’m not sure I ever learned happiness. At least not until I forced myself to. I’m not saying what my father did was wrong or that what the king is doing is wrong. He believes his family is cursed and that he has to protect them from that.
But there has to be a middle ground.
There is no life in this palace. It’s stale air and haunted walls and whispered fear.
“Go speak with him. Just be careful and go gently. If you need backup, you have it from me.”
“Thank you.”
Winding my way downstairs to the second floor, I make my way to his study. The door is partially open, and when I peek in, he’s sitting in a chair by the fire, his eyes locked on the flames, a crystal tumbler of something amber in his hand.
I knock lightly, not wanting to startle him.
“What?” he barks.
Always so friendly, this one. Maybe this isn’t the best time to disturb the beast king. Maybe he does need the break and me challenging him on this can wait.
When I don’t immediately enter, his head whips around, and he catches me lurking by the door. “Are you coming in or just spying on me?”
“Not sure,” I tell him as I push the door open a bit wider without entering. “I wanted to speak with you, but if you’re going to be a di—er, grump, it can wait.”
“You were about to call me a dick, weren’t you?”
You called me a pain in the ass, I want to throw back at him, but I don’t want to get Sabrina in trouble. That’s not what Iwant to talk to him about. At least not directly. “You’re not honestly looking for me to answer that, are you?”
I swear he smirks, but he turns back to the fire so quickly I’m not sure if I’m imagining things.
“Come in, Bellamy. Sit down and tell me whatever the hell it is you feel you have to tell me at this particular moment in my day.”
Okay, still a grump. But I’m here now, so I might as well press my luck.
Entering the study, I debate whether I should sit or if I should stand for this little speech. I decide on the sofa that’s facing him. He eyes me, doing a quick head-to-toe sweep of me before frowning and staring down at his glass. “Do you want one?”
I don’t ask if I’m allowed. I’m technically off the clock, and he offered. “What is it?”
He smiles, and this one I don’t miss. “Kentucky bourbon.”
I laugh. “That is not what I thought you were going to say.”
“American bourbon has more of a bite to it, and tonight that’s exactly what I wanted.”
“I’d love one. Thank you.” I go to get up, but he beats me to it, setting his glass down and going over to the bar to pour me two fingers.
He doesn’t offer ice and I don’t ask. I’m too shocked he’s doing this for me when I would have done it myself. In the months I’ve been here, I’ve only seen either Margarite or Emily bring him his drink, so I certainly didn’t expect this from him.
“Thank you,” I say when he hands the glass to me. He reclaims his chair, and that’s that. Nocheersorhow are the kidsorwhat do you want, even. I take a large sip of my liquid courage, only to think better of it and polish off the glass. It burns like a bastard as it goes down my throat, and I wince and cough. “May I have another?”
His eyebrows shoot up, but he pans his hand toward the bar, and I get up, sucking in a few breaths on my way to make myself another drink. I’m stalling. I know this. But this man makes me nervous and I still feel very new to this job and yet I’m about to ask him to go against everything he’s spent the last three years doing.
Him. As in a king.
