“We could go get her ourselves,” Adrian said. “It’s freezing out there, but we’d probably find her before the cops even show up.”
Miles reappeared at his shoulder, face somber. “They told me to call back in forty-eight hours if she’s still missing.”
Forty-eight hours. No fucking way.
I exhaled through my nose, trying to control the tension I felt snapping inside me. I needed to think, come up with a nextstep. And fast. Sadie’s sniffles weren’t helping, nor was Maren’s hushed tones of comfort in the dim light.
I avoided her gaze. My pulse was high, but I wasn’t sure what else I was feeling. Anger? Fear? Or was it a little bit of both?
Will watched all of us, and I could feel the weight of his quiet judgment. “Uncle Adrian’s right,” he said finally. “She might still be close.”
Maren nodded, already standing to get Sadie dressed for the late November cold. Dragging the kids onto the street at this time of night. Ridiculous. Unnecessary.
“How did this happen?” I said, to myself mostly, as we hurried back downstairs.
“She sometimes—”
“Your mom and dad’s never said anything about this to me before,” I cut him off, and Will fell silent. “They’ve never once mentioned Emma running off.”
“Let’s get moving.” Maren brushed past me to grab coats and scarves, tossing one to me without a word. “We’re wasting time talking about it.”
The street hit us immediately. Lights strung up on houses glimmered like stars, wreaths on doors, everyone feeling the holidays. While my feet felt like lead on the sidewalk, a boulder sitting in my gut. Every passerby, every car, every jingling bell made my stomach drop further.
“She could be anywhere.”
Miles patted my shoulder. “We’ll find her. You’ll see.”
His reassurance didn’t do what he intended. I’d lost my brother’s kid. I’d been the summer uncle since it was only Will, barely out of diapers. The worst thing to happen in all these years of visits was Emma shoving a marble up her nostril.
Maren held Sadie’s hand, her eyes scanning the partially deserted streets, her voice quiet as she tried to reassure the little girl. Emma’s absence made every laugh we heard feel like a knife twisting.
“We’ll find her. I promise,” Maren whispered, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than the five-year-old.
I kept glancing at her. She had this way of holding the moment together, but it wasn’t working this time. Every time I heard her voice, no matter how soothing, something grated my frayed nerves. I sped up to walk with Miles and Adrian.
Will kept pointing out potential hiding spots for Emma. “She might have gone toward the park. Or the fountain.”
He was trying to be helpful, but all it did was agitate the swirling guilt inside me. That, and the nagging fear that he might be wrong. Because what if we were all wrong, and I’d have to call Gabe and explain how I lost his kid because I was distracted by the nanny.
Adrian muttered under his breath. “I just hope she stays put somewhere.”
“She’s a smart girl,” Maren said. “She took all her craft stuff, so she’s likely holed up somewhere drawing a picture or something.”
The tension built with every step. People I passed smiled at the display of families out for the holidays, but for me, every smile, every song drifting from a car’s stereo, was just noise. Emma’s absence made the city feel surreal, like I’d slipped into someone else’s cheerful life while my own was unraveling.
I tried to keep track of every moment, every detail—the direction she might have gone, the likely hiding spots, the weather, the time ticking by. Maren kept a hand on Sadie’s back, whispering softly, keeping her calm, but I could see the strain inher face. I could feel the effort it took for her to keep her tone neutral.
She wasn’t just managing Sadie; she was bracing herself against a tide that could wash her out if she let her own panic surface.
“Do you think she’s mad at me?” Sadie asked suddenly, and Maren’s pause was telling.
“No, baby,” she said gently. “Sometimes we get upset, and it doesn’t mean we’re mad at the people who care about us.”
“What if she’s hiding somewhere we can’t see?” Will muttered, tugging on my sleeve, trying to take initiative.
I exhaled, rubbing my face. What was the point of fighting off the worst case scenario if he kept saying things like this out loud?
“We’ll find her.” My voice sounded hollow. We’d repeated those words so many times since leaving the house, they were beginning to lose all meaning.
