"Alexandra!"
"What? You're staying, aren't you? Are you leaving him?"
Silence.
"I can't listen to this anymore. Since I was five, all you've ever told me about were Father's affairs. You're a broken record. Keep getting cheated on, but doing absolutely nothing."
"You're too young. You don't understand."
I'd ended the call. What was there to understand? If a man cheated on me, I wasn't staying.
All week I'd been a raging bitch. Arguing with all my girls, but nobody got it as bad as Bruno did. He was a man, and while I couldn't curse my father out, Bruno would do just fine. I didn't like how he looked, smelled, the way he kissed, or even chewed.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he'd demanded.
Silence.
I knew I was wrong; it wasn't right to take this out on him, so I took a deep breath and gave what I thought was a good way to get some time. "I need a break."
"Break? What? All week you've been a pain in the ass because you want to break up with me?"
That's not what I meant but for some reason stayed silent.
"A fucking break after three years."
"Bruno, my head is all over the place. I'm feeling a bunch of things. All I'm asking is for a little time to breathe and think."
I thought it was a reasonable ask, but he stomped out of the room and slammed the door. Honestly, I took a few things for granted. Bruno would never give up so easily, and I expected to see him the very next day. However, when I did, Monique was enjoying him.
And now Bruno's eyes glistened. No tears slipped free, but the hurt there made me wish that trip to California had never taken place. The sight stirred the heart I had insisted was numb and forced a painful awareness I did not want to admit. Then I remembered all the times I watched Padre crying as he apologized to Madre, and my body stiffened. Shit, a lot of guilty men cried. Demetria once said she could not believe how many men needed a box of tissues after they were caught fucking cheating on her. What about my tears, not just over Bruno, but the disappointment of realizing all the men in my life weren't worth shit?
"Bruno, it's too complicated. We can't go back."
I shot up from my seat, heart slamming, and rushed out of the diner, desperate for fresh air.
NINE
Leave Me Alone
My bi-weekly ritual of pampering with Mei arrived the next day, and I needed every treatment on the list, full-body massage included. She usually settled for a simple nail appointment, but I convinced her to let me treat her. Once the staff eased every knot from our bodies, we sat together for manicures.
Sinking into the plush chair with my hands soaking and my limbs still humming from the massage, I was completely content.
"All morning I've avoided the B-word," Mei began, and just like that, a very expensive massage was useless.
"Can we not do this now?"
"So, we don't talk about Bruno again?"
Leaning my head to the side, I glared at her.
"Fine. I won't say anything. I'm not Demetria, who thinks you should forgive him, or Olivia, who believes murdering him is the only course you should take. I'm just here if you want to talk, but keeping it in?—"
"OK. We spoke. He's sorry. I'm not taking him back," I cut in, hoping she'd shut up. I lowered my voice. The place wasn't quiet, but my nail tech leaned closer like the gossip might beworth her tip. We came to this spa often, and I did not need their employees knowing anything about my private life.
"You still love him, huh?"
I took a deep breath. "That doesn't matter. I will not be one of those women who do foolish things because she's in love."
