I shudder at the thought of the two of them getting married when they grow up. Selkie Fleming as family. I’d rather swallow a nest of snakes.
“I didn’t know Henri was a girl,” I say. “You never said.”
“Because you would have still told me to deal with her.”
“I could’ve helped you.”
Oscar pulls the earphones from his neck. “Sure dad. Like you helped in Mrs. Summers’ office.”
He’s right, but I still protest. “That was different. Her mom’s a…a….” I grope for a word that isn’t cunt.
Henri rolls his eyes. “Yeah. Well so’s her daughter.”
We’re back to the beginning of the conversation. “So what do we do?”
“You could homeschool me, I guess.”
We don’t laugh much together or with others, but we both let out rusty barks of amusement.
He looks at his earphones and fidgets with them. “I guess… “
C’mon kid, I plead silently. Say the thing. Say anything. “You guess what?” I prompt.
He sighs. “Forget it. It’s a stupid idea.”
I wait and when he says nothing, I say, “Stupid or not, it’s the only idea so far. So maybe share it and I’ll tell you if it’s stupid.”
Oscar shrugs. “We could go camping. Like, the four of us could.”
I’m horrified, but years of keeping my features flat stops Oscar from realizing it. “We don’t know how to camp,” I say. “I wouldn’t know the first thing about what to do and I sincerely doubt Fleming would either.”
“We can ask Evanee or Jess. They had an all-girl’s camping trip a few weeks ago.”
I try to imagine Evanee, Trigger’s ol’ lady, camping and I can’t see it. Four-inch heels and skirts so tight you could bounce a quarter off her perfect ass. “Sounds like bullshit. Who told you that?”
Oscar rolls his eyes again. “You should pay attention to what’s goin’ on around you. It’s not all about Jury business and you never know when you might pick up some useful information.”
I feel lectured but the kid has a point. Still… “Gossip you mean.”
He shrugs. “Whatever.”
I tap the tips of my fingers together. “Okay. Point taken. But Evanee camping?”
This elicits a grin from Oscar. “I know, right? They called it something like glamping. Brielle went and so did Hayley and X. Jess even took the baby.”
“I’ve never heard of glamping.”
“Me neither, but Brielle said it was like camping with big tents and wine and make up.”
Wine and make-up? Jesus Christ. The new ol’ ladies are turning our club into a femdom. Next thing, they’ll be wearing leather and carrying whips. “I’m not going glamping.”
“No way! I just think that camping would be a good way to try to get along.”
“Or kill each other.”
Oscar grins. “Lots of places to bury their bodies.”
I contemplate Freddy Krueger sitting next to me. Like father, like son, I guess.
