This is family.
Soon my brothers are going to have children. And I’m not going to be there to see any of it because I am betraying them.
I can dress it up however I like, but this is the truth. I’ve gone behind their backs. Kept secrets. Told lies. Made deals without their knowledge or consent.
Whatever I think they’ve done wrong, however I think they’ve mistreated me, I’m the one who is cutting the ties.
I brush my hand down the silk of one of Anna’s ponytails.
It’s that moment that she twists around and holds up the spoon, filled with ice cream, to my lips. “You have.”
I hesitate for a second, ice cream dripping on the leg of my jeans, before I open my mouth and let her feed me.
“It good?” she asks with a big smile.
I touch one of her ponytails again, the moment making my chest ache. “Very good.”
The room has remained quiet, Ava now watching from the doorway, as Anna settles back in my lap to finish her ice cream.
Sasha comes to stand behind me, her hands flitting over my neck and shoulders in these soft little sweeps that have my heartrate ticking up.
“Thank you,” she whispers in my ear. Is Sasha’s touch a reward for my kindness to the child?
As if she’d need to thank me. As if this moment wasn’t a reward all its own. I close my eyes. Because I can feel everything inside me shifting.
It was already. I know that.
Sasha bends down and brushes a kiss just behind my ear, her soft sigh making my chest ache.
But this moment, a moment of familial intimacy, has made me realize a few truths. Now I need to decide what I do next.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Ryker
An hour later,I find myself back upstairs with my wife.
I planned to skip work for at least the first few days after the wedding, but I find myself restless when I get upstairs.
I know it’s not really from a lack of work, but more from my mind spinning in a thousand directions.
I’m usually singularly focused in my thoughts, but today, I’m everywhere.
“Everything all right?” Sasha asks, and I realize we’ve been standing in the kitchen in complete silence.
“I’m fine, just…” I wave my hand.
She gives me a gentle smile. “I get lost in my thoughts all the time. I drive everyone crazy.”
“Not me,” I answer without even thinking.
“You don’t get lost in your thoughts or I don’t drive you crazy?” she asks, nipping at her lip. It’s her step up from tapping when she’s nervous about what I might say.
I pull her hands into mine and then draw her close, my lips brushing her forehead. “Neither.”
“Give it time,” she pulls away and opens the fridge. “I’ll annoy you eventually. I’m going to eat some lunch. Want anything?”
“No,” I shake my head, eyeing her ass as she bends over. I’d like to have her for lunch. But I’m determined to give her some recovery time after last night. So instead of splaying her out on the counter, I clear my throat. “Would you mind if I did a bit of work?”
