“Really?”I asked skeptically.“Because it looks like you are using the infected brains of dead people to make drugs!”
“It looks bad, but it’s really not.People lick frogs to get high.People eat mushrooms grown in actual bat shit.Hell, even the tomatoes and potatoes back in Xwechtáal are fertilized with the compost made from literal human shit,” Jordy argued.
“Oh, fuck you for pretending any of that is even the same!”I yelled back at him.“I’m not upset because it’s repulsive, although I am very repulsed.I’m upset because it’s utterly depraved and a huge violation of human dignity!”
“Where was your concern for their human dignity when you were gleefully slicing them down with your axe?”Jordy shot back.“Or did you think that I didn’t notice that you only seem to come alive when you’re fighting something?”
“First of all, I have never done anything gleefully!And don’t try to pretend that I am the bad guy here!”I shouted.“You are making drugs from the brains of infected humans!It’s like cannibalism with extra steps!”
His face curled up in disgust.“It isnothinglike cannibalism!And you know they’re not people anymore or you wouldn’t have killed them.”
“I kill them because I know theyarepeople!”I disagreed.“I kill them because if I were a mindless monster destroying everything, I would want someone to put me down as quickly as possible.And that’s exactly what I do for the zombies.”
“Really?That’s your argument?That you’re doing it for the zombies like you’re some kind of Patron Saint of the Undead?”Jordy asked with a dubious eyebrow.
“No!”I groaned and threw my hands up in the air.“I know everything is complicated and messed up right now.But one of my hardlines is that I don’t want to consume any part of a human at any point for any reason, whether they were infected or not.And I think if you’re going to be handing out a drug, no matter how clever you are for discovering it – ”
“You think I’m offended that you don’t appreciate my genius?”he cut me off indignantly.“This is about helping people!How much would you have suffered if I hadn’t given you the grinleaf?”
“I would rather have suffered than taken a zombie drug!”
He gave a sardonic laugh.“I’m sorry that I didn’t realize you were such a martyr when I met you, but most people would rather not suffer needlessly.”
“You should’ve given me a choice.You should’ve told me what it was made of,” I insisted.
“You needed the pain relief, and I knew I could help you.”He stepped closer to me, his anger slowly fading.“I swear that I only wanted to help you, and to help other people like you.And no one living was hurt.I mean, the zombies were killed in self-defense, and I only extract from the dead.”
“You shouldn’t be giving this to people.At least not recreationally,” I persisted.“And you have to tell them what it’s really made from.They need to decide for themselves.”
“You make a valid point.”Jordy closed the distance between us, and when I didn’t move back, he put a tentative hand on my waist.“I never meant to mislead you or hurt you, Remy.You know that I care about you.”
“That’s not theonlything that matters.”
“But it still matters, a little, doesn’t it?”he pressed.
“It does,” I admitted softly.
“Do you forgive me then?”His voice was low and husky, and he touched my face, leaving a cold, congealing smudge of zombie blood on my cheek from his thumb.
“Just don’t lie to me or keep things from me.”
“I promise.”His eyes studied me, and when I leaned into him, his mouth found mine.
It wasn’t until he wrapped his arms around me, pressing me to him as we shared fervent kisses, that I was reminded of how thin the lines between rage and passion could be.
59
Remy
It had taken me over six months since I first left the Barbarabelle, but I had finally arrived in Glacier Valley.
The days of getting here with Jordy had been quiet and relatively uneventful, after I’d found out about the truth behind the origins of grinleaf.I still didn’t like it, but neither of us mentioned it again.He wasn’t taking any while we travelled anyway, since inebriation made us vulnerable to attack in the wilderness.
The weather had been nice, the zombies had been scarce, and the hunting had been good.Ripley and the mules seemed to enjoy the long days, and even I went to bed at night feeling less restless than I had in Xwechtáal or back on the Barbarabelle.
All of that was to say that I arrived in better shape and better spirits than I had been in a long while.I wouldn’t say I was optimistic or anything, and I still had this nagging panic deep in the pit of my stomach when I thought about going to Cold Shore, and what that would mean, medically speaking.
But mostly, I tried not to think of what came next.I had set a goal to get here, and I arrived with a full belly and all my travelling companions in good health.What more could I ask for?
