“Yeah.”I motioned vaguely to my bed.“Have a seat.I’m sure you’re tired after all that walking.”
“I’m fine.”Boden stayed by the door, arms folded over his chest, and he still wouldn’t do more than glance at me for a second at a time.
But Stella sat down on the bed, folding one of her legs underneath her, and I realized that she had grown up, too.Not as much as Fae had over the past nine months, but there was a subtle shift from young girl to young woman.Some of the baby fat had been lost from her cheeks, but it was how weary and tired her eyes looked that made the guilt twist inside me the most.
I never wanted to hurt her.I never wanted her to hurt at all.
“How have you been?”she asked.
“Fine.Good.I don’t know how to answer that,” I stumbled.“I mean, I’ve been good lately.How have you been?”
“Fae’s doing great, and the rest of us could be a lot worse,” she replied with an uncertain smile.“What are you doing here?”
“Since you found me, I’m guessing you know about Cold Shore then,” I said.
She nodded.“We’ve heard of it.”
“Then you understand why I’m here,” I said, frustrated.“The immunity in my body could help create a cure, and that could create a safer world for everyone, including Fae.So I don’t know if you came all this way to talk me out of it, but I don’t even know why you would.”
“I understand your reasons, but why didn’t you tell us you were going?Why did you leave the way you did?”Stella asked.“If you really believed in what you’re doing, why didn’t you say goodbye?”
“Because I was afraid you would talk me out of it, and this is more important than how I feel about you or anyone or anything,” I said, my voice tight.
“It’s awfully convenient how running away from everyone is always the most important thing for you to do,” Boden responded glibly.
“Boden!”Stella snapped again in exasperation.“Why are you being this way?For months, all you’ve cared about is finding Remy, and now that we have, you’re so angry and mean!”
“I didn’t expect to feel this way.”Boden’s voice was thick, and when he finally forced himself to look at me, tears were swimming in his eyes.“I have been so worried.I have thought of almost nothing except finding you and holding you in my arms… and yet the moment I saw you, all I could feel wasrage.”
His arms fell at his sides, and he stepped over to me, so we were only inches apart.“You ripped my fucking heart out, Remy, when you left me and our family.”
“I’m sorry,” I replied quietly.“What do you even want from me anymore?”
“Right now, I honestly don’t know.”He shook his head and looked away.“I think I need to take a walk and clear my head.”
“Do whatever you need,” I said.
“Seriously, Boden?”Stella asked in surprise, but he just shook his head again and left the room, shutting the door hard behind him.
I exhaled roughly after he left, and if Stella hadn’t been sitting there watching me, I probably would’ve cried.But she was, so I swallowed it down and tried to force a smile at her.
“Sorry about him,” Stella and I both said at the same time, then we shared an uneasy laugh.
“I’m sorry things are tense, and I’m sorry I left the way I did.”I sat on the bed next to her.“I missed you and Fae a lot, and … I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to stay.”
“Youshouldbe sorry for the way you left,” Stella affirmed.“I’m a young woman with a child who has survived a zombie apocalypse.I can handle difficult things, and you know that better than anyone.If you really think that being here is the best thing for you – and for the world – then I wouldn’t have stopped you.Not that I truly believe I even could have stopped you.But you still should’ve talked to me about it.I want you to be safe, and I love you, and Fae loves you.”
“I know, and I love you both,” I said.
She leaned over and hugged me tightly.“I really did miss you, Remy.But please, please don’t leave without goodbye again.”
“Okay.I’m sorry.I won’t,” I promised her, but even as I said it, I wasn’t entirely sure I would be able to keep it.
There was a heavy silence between us for a moment, both of us lost in our own thoughts.I took a deep breath, searching for the right words, when curiosity got the better of me.
“So what’s the deal with Fergus?”I asked.
Her cheeks reddened slightly as she guardedly responded with, “What do you mean?”
