She’s standing near the end of the table, her camera in hand as she scrolls through photos.She smiles at something a dark-haired woman says, but it’s the same unguarded one she gave me earlier.One that made her seem real.
It’s a shame.When I first met her, she seemed easy to talk to… funny and warm.Someone I could’ve liked, maybe even trusted.But now, knowing she wrote the article, I see her differently.She’s a reminder that my past isn’t something I can outrun.She could make things worse.Make it impossible to forget.
“Come on, let’s sit,” Keith says.
I follow him because I have no idea where I belong in all this, and I’m tempted to leave.
As we weave through the crowd, I feel them… whispers that carry through the air, eyes assessing me.They think they’re subtle, but they’re not.A prickle runs down my spine, my appetite fading fast.I remind myself that it’ll pass.The staring and the murmurs will eventually die down.I just have to keep my head up.
I take my assigned seat, and of course, Amelia’s right in front of me.
My mouth tightens, but I force my attention to the woman next to Amelia.She looks very similar, though older, with pale skin and bluish shadows beneath her eyes.Her hair is Amelia’s natural brown, but with no blonde streaks, unlike Amelia’s, and there’s something weary about her.Amelia is fussing over her, filling her plate, and making sure she eats.
“Are you alright?”Keith’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
I hesitate, watching as Amelia rises and moves toward a group of kids.For a split second, I wonder if they’re hers.I glance around, half-expecting to see a guy in the mix… someone hovering close.But there’s no one.
“Yeah.”I clear my throat.“I think I’ll grab some food.”
I fill my plate, ignoring my lack of appetite.Roast chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, buttery cornbread, and mac and cheese.When I sit back down, Keith is caught up in conversation with someone, and I expect to eat in silence.
The woman beside me leans in slightly, smelling of lavender and something powdery.Her deep brown eyes study me, and I brace myself for the familiar sting of judgment.
A trace of red lipstick lingers on the rim of her wineglass.She swirls the liquid slowly.
“How are you settling in?”She’s in her mid-forties, with a face that carries kindness.At least she’s not whispering, not giving me that judgy look.
I swallow my bite, forcing it down.“Good.Only been here a week, so… we’ll see.”
She smiles, her eyes meeting mine.“I’m Diane.I work at the pharmacy.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say, meaning it.
“I’m actually starting at the hospital tomorrow,” I tell her, if only to fill the space.
“I thought you were living with Keith and working for him?”
I take a sip of water.“He’ll bring me on when the practice expansion is finished.For now, I’ll work at the hospital.It’ll be interesting to see how it compares to the city.”
Diane nods.“That’s right… You’re from New York.I went once, when I was little.”
“How did you like it?”
A loud crash startles me, my gaze snapping toward the commotion on my right.A child…one near Amelia has knocked over a plate.
Amelia’s already moving, crouching down to clean up the mess.But she’s not alone.A woman beside her grabs napkins and rushes over.Then a man in a plaid shirt, I vaguely recognize from earlier, kneels beside her with a broom.Another teen passes a stack of fresh plates like it’s all rehearsed.
No one scolds the kid.No one makes a big deal out of it.They just move in quietly, like they’ve done this before.
I watch Amelia in the middle of it, calm, steady, and still somehow making it all look easy.
Her eyes flick to mine, catching me staring.Heat rushes up my neck, and I quickly look away.I don’t want her to get the wrong idea.We have nothing to say to each other.
Plus, she’ll only twist it.
“So,” Diane continues, rescuing me from the moment.“After the speeches, the dancing starts.That’s pretty much it.Everyone just talks, drinks, and has a good time.”
“I don’t dance.”I haven’t danced since seventh grade, and for good reason.It was a middle school dance in the gym.I’d psyched myself up for days, convinced myself I was going to dance with the prettiest girl in school.I walked across the gym toward her, but just as I reached her, I tripped over a backpack, right at her feet.She laughed.Fuck, everyone laughed.Even the DJ made a joke into the mic about me breakdancing.I stood up, red-faced, and walked straight out the door.
