“Your front door was unlocked. That’s not very safe. Someone could just walk in while you’re asleep.”
I squinted at him. He was wearing shorts and a tight t-shirt. “That would be horrible if someone just walked in while I was asleep,” I agreed. “Horrible. But who would do that? It would never happen. One in a million chance.”
Hudson ignored my snark. “There’s a mound of dirty clothes on your front porch, Eliza. Your clothes. I got worried. I inspected them. You know what I found?”
My guess was seven pounds of sewage, but I decided to feign ignorance.
I tried to shrug my shoulders, but my shoulders were wedged under the arm of the couch, so it was hard to do. “Maybe a possum? We had a possum in the backyard once.”
“It wasn’t a possum. No possum smells that bad. From my military experience, I figured out that it’s excrement. There was excrement in your clothes. I smelled them before I saw them, but I investigated anyway.”
“That doesn’t sound smart, Hudson. Why did you do that?”
“Because I was worried. I thought: Why are Eliza’s clothes in a pile on her front porch? Why does it smell like the most unspeakable foulness? Maybe she’s dead. Maybe she was vaporized by alien laser weapons. I didn’t know, but my mind went to the worst things I could imagine. Then I found your door was unlocked, and I really thought you were dead.”
“And then you found me asleep on the couch and thought I was lying here dead?”
He shook his head. “No, I found you lying on the couch, cradling a bag of chips in your arm with a circle of Oreo crumbs around your mouth. So, I knew you were totally fine.”
I wiped the Oreo crumbs off my face. “That’s not Oreo crumbs. It’s dried seaweed. I had a craving for dried seaweed. I kept the bag of chips with me as a test of my resolve to reject my odious past and move on to all things healthy. Seaweed is very healthy.”
Hudson picked up the empty Oreo package from the floor next to the couch. “I’ve never known anyone who lies worse than you. Nobody. Two-year-olds lie better than you.”
“I lie better when I’m not in a home invasion situation and when I don’t get woken with a start by a musclebound protein bully.”
He smiled at me. “That’s a good description of me. I like it. Come on. Get up. You’re burning daylight.”
“I’m not burning daylight, so daylight shouldn’t burn me. I’m going to sleep a little longer.”
“Come on. We’re going for a walk. Easy day. Active recuperation.”
“I’m recuperating on my couch,” I insisted. “I’m not going for a walk. I don’t need your services anymore. I decided not to win Steve back. I got revenge instead. So, it’s all over. I’m done and fine, and I don’t need egg whites and broccoli improvement. I don’t need to improve at all because I’m no longer trying to get my husband back from Tight Tammy.”
Hudson sat on the coffee table.
“I’m thrilled that you decided not to win your husband back,” he started. “I’m guessing the excrement had something to do with your revenge.”
“No comment,” I said. “But would you be my alibi if the cops call?”
He sighed. “Your husband and revenge aside, none of what we’ve been doing has been about Steve. None of it. It’s about you, Eliza. You. It’s aboutyourlife.Yourfuture.Yourpresent.”
“My voice and essence?”
“Huh? Yes. Your voice and essence.”
“And egg whites and broccoli will help my voice and essence?”
Hudson leaned forward until our faces were only inches apart. “It’s not about the egg whites. It’s not about the broccoli. It’s about self-respect. It’s about treating yourself at least as well as you’d treat any stranger on the street. How can you be happy if you don’t do that?”
There was something working behind his eyes when he spoke with me. Something not about me. Something about him. Something that tugged on my heart and wanted me to make him feel better. Was he not just a warrior, but a wounded warrior? Were his voice and essence damaged like mine?
I touched his hand. “Hudson, have you ever thought that Oreos made me feel better than egg whites?”
“In the moment, sure. For the first bite. Then, before you swallow that first bite, you know that you’ve done yourself wrong and you feel bad. Then, the sugar and preservatives and additives hit your body, and your body knows what you did to it, that you put stress on your cells, that your flesh is swelling with inflammation, and your system is trying to repair the damage, and all of that physical punishment sends a signal to your brain. It says, ‘I hate myself. I don’t deserve health or happiness or respect.’ It’s a perfect storm. So, I eat egg whites. And so should you.”
“That’s a lot you’re putting on an Oreo.”
“That’s a lot I’m putting on a package of Oreos. C’mon, Eliza. My mom didn’t raise a fool. I know you don’t eat just one cookie.”
