I jerked my head back. “What? You can’t be serious. Her mother will kill her. Well, kill Jesse, then her.”
“I know,” she said with a groan. “I tried to talk her out of it, but I warned her about this so many times. Being boyfriend and girlfriend for so long makes it too complicated. They’re too tangled together, and now they’ll be miserable when they get separated.” She propped her elbow onto my chest and rested her chin on her palm. “That’s why it’s going to be so much easier for us in college. No attachments, no regrets,” she told me with a wink and pressed her mouth to mine.
“Right,” I said, my thumping heart now falling into my stomach. My chest pinched, but not from anticipation.
It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t feel the same way. It was mine. For once in my life, being a coward had come in handy, as I’d avoided saying something I’d never be able to take back.
This “extra” friendship had to end, because I couldn’t trust myself not to slip one day. We’d be together tonight, and then that would be it.
It had to be, because I couldn’t kiss Sabrina again knowing how it wouldn’t mean anything to her.
Because it would mean everything to me.
“No attachments, no regrets,” I repeated, wishing like hell that were true.
The valet pulled Sabrina’s car up to the front and held the door open for her to step in. I caught him giving her a once-over and couldn’t help glaring back when he met my gaze. I didn’t blame him, and Sabrina and I weren’t anything to each other but old friends, but I still felt unwarranted satisfaction when he backed away and mumbled good night.
It brought back memories of when I’d catch a guy looking at Sabrina when we were out together. I couldn’t claim her with my words, but I’d make it more than clear to whatever jerk needed to back off because, for that moment, she was with me.
I laughed to myself. After fighting so hard to keep a lifelong secret, I was still awful at it.
“This is a nice ride,” I told her as I buckled my seat belt.
“Yes,” she agreed, nodding as we pulled away from the catering hall. “After my divorce, I didn’t want to buy a condo or another house, so I moved into a small apartment and treated myself to a new car. The single life isn’t so bad when you have heated leather seats,” she said with a sad chuckle.
“I’ll have to look into that,” I mused as I gazed out the window, trying to make sense of the concoction of feelings swirling in my gut enough to give me indigestion.
Maybe Jesse wasn’t the only one finally facing the ghosts of his past tonight. Although, at least he could claim his.
All Sabrina had been was a dream. But I guessed it was a night for memories and childhood realities that never made it to adulthood.
That was what I’d tell myself tomorrow if my walk down memory lane only made me feel worse about the present.
THREE
CADEN
“I am telling you,” Sabrina whispered in my ear as she jutted her chin toward the cluster of men at the end of the bar. “I swear they didn’t go to St. Kate’s.”
“They sure as hell don’t look familiar,” I agreed, trying to focus on the group of classmates I couldn’t place for the life of me instead of on the sweet smell of Sabrina’s perfume as it wafted up my nose.
It was different from what I remembered. She’d always smelled like vanilla and roses, and whatever she’d used would permeate her bedroom when I snuck inside. I remembered getting hard from the scent alone, and whatever she was wearing now was familiar enough to almost cause the same reaction.
When I turned my head, my gaze snagged on the sexy smirk curling her red lips. I’d meant what I said. Her ex-husband was a fucking fool, and when I’d spied the hurt in her eyes earlier tonight, I’d wanted to break the asshole’s jaw, whoever he was.
“I told Emily they were probably here for an easy hookup.” Her hazel eyes fell to the half-empty glass of bourbon in her hand. “Not a terrible plan, but who knows, maybe they just aged really badly, like Gage and his crew.”
“You think crashing a reunion for a school you didn’t go to just for an easy hookup isn’t a terrible plan?” I cracked up before I took a long pull of my beer bottle.
“I don’t know how much you’ve dated since your divorce, but that would be one of the least shady things I’ve seen. I signed up for an app and deleted it after about three months. Men are really fucking creepy and don’t put in a whole lot of effort to hide it. Sneaking into someone else’s reunion is pathetic, I grant you, yet creative at the same time.”
Her shoulders shook with a chuckle, but I couldn’t laugh with her. I hated seeing her this jaded and sad, and I had to wonder if I seemed the same to her.
We weren’t the same carefree high school kids, and I felt a shit-ton older than my almost forty years lately. Happened when you got humiliated and betrayed but couldn’t really show it.
The act became very fucking taxing.
But I’d managed to forget all that for a couple of hours tonight. Hearing Sabrina’s laugh brought me back to a time far enough in the past not to feel that new-divorce residue clinging to my skin or any other troubles that weighed on me each day. I was just a guy acting like a fool to make a pretty woman laugh.
