“You didn’t miss much,” Sabrina told us, pointing to the table next to the bar. “That’s our table. Remember Gage Sheridan and his crew? The years haven’t been too kind.” Her red lips twitched into a smirk.
“Shit, for real,” I said, sweeping my gaze over them. Everyone knew who they were, but looking at them now, I never would have recognized them either.
Despite the shitty turn my personal life had taken, I liked to think I looked pretty damn good for my age. I used the gym to get out my frustration so I wouldn’t unload on anyone else, andunlike the tools at Sabrina and Emily’s table, I still had a full head of hair with only a few tiny spots of gray.
Maybe this reunion didn’t totally suck. Sure, I was still shaking off an awful divorce, but the shallow side of me took it as a win that I hadn’t peaked in high school.
“Our table seems to be pretty empty,” I said. “Why don’t you sit with us?”
It was out of my mouth before I could consider what I was saying. I could feel Jesse and Emily tense up at the same time, almost flinching at my suggestion, but Emily managed to recover first.
“As long as you don’t mind,” Emily said, searching Jesse’s face. Despite the moment of panic I’d caught in her eyes a few minutes ago, she really seemed okay with it or was doing a great job of faking.
“Not at all,” Jesse said, as fixated on Emily as always. She was still just as beautiful too, and it was weird how much she still seemed to fit next to Jesse even after years apart, although their eyes darted everywhere but to each other.
I had brought us here for the distraction, and, for both Jesse and me, I guessed we were about to get our money’s worth.
TWO
CADEN
The four of us all together again felt both familiar and sad at the same time. Sabrina and I had fallen back into easy conversation like the old days. But our table seemed to have an invisible wall running between Jesse and Emily, one that she seemed to want to hide behind and that Jesse yearned to climb but couldn’t bring himself to—at least, that’s how it looked from where I was sitting.
Still, even though I was sure I’d be in for it later, I could tell how happy he was to see his old girlfriend again, and happiness hadn’t come easy for him over the past year.
“So, what’s your story for being without a plus one tonight?” Sabrina asked me, leaning her chin on her hand as she held my gaze, a smirk that was more sad than playful tilting her lips.
“Divorced,” I said, lifting a shoulder and trying like hell to go for aloof. “It’s been a couple of years. She got the house, so I’m living in town again. How about you?”
Anything not to explain how I’d married someone I’d loved and had been so sure had loved me back. We’d both worked long hours, and I’d never thought in a million years that my wife’s idea of extra hours were extramarital affairs, until she was sloppy enough to get caught one very awful day.
Affairs.Plural. One would still have hurt, but the merry-go-round of dick Marie had been on for more years than I wanted to tally up was what had devastated and humiliated me.
But that was too deep for the superficial conversation we were all trying like hell to have tonight.
“Same. We never worked up to a house, so I guess that’s a good thing.” She shrugged, shooting me a smile that didn’t make it to her eyes. I remembered that smile. It was the one she’d always had when she’d sneak into my room late at night upset over some douche who’d just broken her heart.
I’d thought losing ourselves in each other during those moments was just a way to work off the hurt and pass the time, and it had been at first.
But kissing away all her troubles wasn’t just passing the time for me. It had been my purpose before I realized it, and I was unnerved by that same urge to press my mouth to hers to get rid of that stricken look on her face now.
I had to suck on my bottom lip to ward off the tingle.
I’d tried a few dates with women after my divorce but couldn’t muster up any sparks. I’d figured the rejection and anger killed that part of me, at least for the time being.
Leave it to Sabrina to kick up a stirring in my gut that I’d written off as dead, just by sitting next to me.
I’d never even told Jesse how I’d truly felt about her back then. Although, when he’d warn me to be careful, I’d wondered if he hadn’t always meant just dodging a punch from one of Sabrina’s exes.
“It sucks. I’m sorry,” I said, my voice dipping to a soft rasp as her eyes held mine. “Whoever he was, he’s an asshole.”
A slow smile spread across her face, almost bashful. The Sabrina I’d known was loud and bold. It was what I’d loved most about her, and if her ex-husband had taken any of that away, he really was an asshole.
“Back at you,” she whispered, bumping my shoulder.
I leaned in, my gaze snagging on hers. For only a moment, I felt that same connection we’d had back then. Not just the sexual one, because there had been more to us than that. There had been moments between us when it had been us against the world, seeking comfort from each other so we wouldn’t have to feel, yet getting each other on a level no one else had.
Maybe the pull toward her was from my battered self-esteem or that rush of the nostalgia St. Kate’s was going for tonight. Whatever it was, that old yearning to see Sabrina smile and laugh had taken over my common sense, and each time I succeeded, I felt that same rush.
