She laughed, sifting her hand through her blond hair when the wind blew it across her face.
I took her face in my hands, smoothing the loose locks of hair behind her ears, and kissed her forehead.
“You didn’t put me through anything. I was there for it all, so thanks for letting me tag along.”
“Sure,” she said. “If you’re up for it, maybe we can hang out next weekend.”
“That could be good. I’ll text you.”
I smiled and headed back to where I’d parked. I glanced at Sabrina’s puzzled stare and forced my feet to keep moving in the direction of my car.
I wouldn’t cut her out of my life, but I needed a minute after this weekend. I’d compartmentalize what happened between us so we could move on—once I could figure out how the hell to hide away memories of one of the best weekends of my life because they hurt too much.
TEN
SABRINA
I’d done many stupid things in my life, but thinking I could have casual sex with one of my best friends without any repercussions absolutely took the cake, as my grandmother would say.
In high school, it had been so easy to stay casual, but I hadn’t paid much mind to anything of importance back then or had an inkling of responsibility. After assuring Emily I wouldn’t fall back into my old habits with Caden, I’d taken him to my niece’s wedding as not only my date but my fake boyfriend. After lines blurred all over the place from lingering touches and heated kisses, I’d served myself up to him on a big, king-sized bed platter and had the best sex of my life, foolishly thinking that when we arrived home, the amazing sex we’d had could continue without having to label it.
What I’d done was cheapen what had happened between us, and I hated myself for it. For the past week, Caden and I still spoke over text, but it was short. He said he was busy at work and with family, but I didn’t believe him.
I was mad at myself for turning a great thing into an awkward mess and at him for blowing me off, even though he had every right to.
Caden had always been right there for me, my rock and my biggest cheerleader in so many ways. Now, it felt like he was drifting away from me because of my stupidity. I should have told him the truth. That the mind-melting sex we’d had had scared the shit out of me.
Thanks to Austin, I was terrified of loving anyone again or giving my entire self to someone, only to have them hurt me in the end.
Even when we’d had sex as teens, I’d considered Caden a friend before anything else. But ever since he’d come back into my life, it seemed different between us. He wasn’t just someone fun to hang out with. He was someone I needed to see.
Being with Caden felt good. Not as a distraction or to scratch an inch, he was the sunshine in what had become a very boring and mundane world since my divorce.
I finally bit the bullet and called Jesse to see if Caden was okay. Emily didn’t know that we’d hooked up in the present tense, and I wasn’t ready to share it with anyone.
Plus, I had no interest or patience for a game of telephone of her asking Jesse to ask Caden how he was. I put on my big-girl panties and removed the unneeded degree of separation.
“Sabrina? Everything okay? Is Emily all right?”
“Yes,” I said, cringing at the concern in his voice. “I’m so sorry to scare you, but I haven’t really heard from Caden lately and not at all the past few days. Do you know if he’s all right?”
“He didn’t tell you? His mother took a bad fall in the nursing home she lives in. He’s been back and forth all week.”
My stomach dropped as my hand flew to my mouth.
“No, he didn’t. That’s horrible. Is he there now?”
“He is. Or he should be. He’s been going there right after work every night. Maybe you can catch him and make sure he eats.”
Caden had told me that his mother was living in a nursing home, but he never wanted to share details about it and I didn’t press. Of the two of us, I was the one who went on and on about my problems and never really gave him a chance to share any of his.
I was the shittiest friend alive and should have made this call so much earlier.
Of course, it stung that he hadn’t told me and maybe didn’t want me there, but I’d take care of him even if he hated it.
“I’m heading there now. It’s the one on Sunrise Highway, right?”
“Yes, that’s the one.”
