I glanced at the back of my sister’s head as she watched a rerun ofGilmore Girls, totally oblivious to how our lives had just imploded. Some of the moms at her middle school had loved my books, but I didn’t want her to endure any teasing in her new school because of me.
Now, I’d put a double target on my head. I was having an affair with a local celebrity that I’d done business with, and everyone knew I wrote kissing books for a side hustle. The wrong kids could torture Taylor with that information if they wanted to, and the thought triggered shame so potent I tasted bile in the back of my throat.
“Holy shit,” Auden whispered.
“Those photos just went up this morning, and look how many likes and comments.” I sucked in a long breath as I gripped the edge of my table. “This is all my fault.”
“No, it’s not. For it to go viral this fast, he had to have been followed. Unless you both holed up in your apartments and never saw each other, this was going to happen eventually. And I hate that you ever had to make allowances for this bullshit in the first place.”
“So did I, but I wanted to tell people on my terms. About everything. And since I have three missed calls from Gayle, I guess that ship has pretty much sailed.” I glanced at my sister, still oblivious to her guardian’s meltdown.
“Like mother, like daughter,”a nasty voice taunted in my head.
It wasn’t totally wrong, but my mother wouldn’t have cared about reputations, safety, or a steady job.
I wasn’t wired that way, and I had no idea what to do or how to control the train wreck that had already gone too far off the rails to even begin to fix.
“This is not as bad as it seems,” Auden said, her words coming a little too fast to be soothing. “Stuff like this fizzles quickly.”
I let out a hysterical laugh.
“Which part? Where I not only got caught violating my employment contract, they have me splayed in front of Silas’s hotel room door in my Jessica fucking Rabbit dress like some hooker, and they tagged me and the company. Or that my side job of writing romance just got blasted to everyone right before my little sister starts high school.”
“I am sure it will fade by then. And hey, maybe it will give her some street cred, having a sister who’s a famous author.”
“Aud, famous andinfamous are two very different things.” I let my head fall back, already exhausted by all that could be coming at us.
I’d known this was a risk, but one stupid mistake took risk into reckless.
It was odd to feel envy for my mother. She’d managed to move on without a care or regret when she’d fucked everything up, and she lived with herself and her choices just fine.
The worst part about all of this was that I’d never be able to do any of that, all while figuring out where the hell to go from here.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
SILAS
The moraleof the guys heading into the locker room after the game was the opposite of when we’d first stepped onto the field today. We’d needed this win, even if it was close.
I hadn’t checked any social media before the game, turning off my phone once I arrived at the field. Practice had been quiet as we waited for word on Nate. Lee made sure to check the guys over before practice just to make them, and all of us, relax.
I’d felt their relief as much as mine after the final out. We proved we could still win, and losing someone important for hopefully just a little while wouldn’t mess with our heads and stop us from doing our jobs. The win hadn’t mattered much in the standings, as the team above us had won today too, but for moving forward period, it was crucial.
We had two more nights here before I could head home to Rachel and finally make a plan to come clean to her job about us. I’d talk to Kent and make him speak to her boss and somehow convince her that this wasn’t a tawdry fling like the one that made them implement the stupid rule in the first place. Then we’d deal with whatever we had to after together.
I had to run it by Rachel first, but I knew she was as exhausted as I was. Her sister wouldn’t miss out on anything—neither of them would—even if I had to convince her to see it that way.
“Good game, guys,” Kent said, his smile forced and fake as he glanced around the locker room. “When you have a moment, Silas, meet us in the office.”
Adrian stilled next to his locker, the rest of the guys also frozen to the sticky floor.
The grim pinch in Kent’s brow didn’t ease any of the nerves I’d been trying not to think about, but I needed to know so we could all come up with a plan for the rest of the season and maybe after.
“What’s going on?” I asked, shutting the door behind me. Kent and Cole, the managing partner, both met my gaze with the same wary eyes, and that had the hairs on the back of my neck sticking straight up.
“Is it Nate?”
“Nate tore his rotator cuff. They don’t think it was related to the issues he’d been having at the beginning of the season, but the doctor said with surgery and therapy, he should be fine for next year.”
