He winked, his gaze searching mine before it drifted to my mouth. I didn’t know whether to burst into tears, fling myself into his arms, or race to the tiny bathroom in the back of the store to sob in privacy.
“Good to see you, Slugger,” Silas said, his voice dipping low and husky before he turned to head for the door. Nina locked it behind him, and only the bookstore staff, Auden, and I were left.
“Go,” Auden said, ripping the marker out of my hand.
“Go where?” I said, rearing back as her nostrils flared.
“Go after him. My God, Rachel. Stop doing this to yourself.”
“Auden,” I started, propping my elbows onto the table as I let my head drop into my hands. “I could lose my job?—”
“You’re really okay with letting him walk away?” She pointed to the door. “What do you think you’ll regret more in ten years when Taylor is in college living her own life and you’re home by yourself? That you had to look for a new job, or that you let something go that could have been great? Don’t answer me because I already know.”
She reached under the table and plopped my purse in front of me. “The event is over. They’re closing. I can drive home alone. Wave goodbye to everyone and go.”
I slung my bag over my shoulder and told Nina a quick thank you and goodbye before I jogged out the front door.
Surveying the street, I couldn’t find Silas anywhere. He had long legs and was probably already blocks away. I let my head fall back, wincing at the sky and cursing my stupid hesitation before I dug my phone out of my purse to see if I could catch him.
“Looking for someone?”
I gasped and turned to the deep chuckle behind me.
“Hey,” he crooned, squeezing my wrist. “I didn’t mean to scare you?—”
I cut him off with a kiss. A deep, too wet and loud for a public street kiss as I trailed my hands up and down his back, pressing my body against his to get as close as possible. He stiffened in shock for a minute before he gave in, slanting his mouth over mine as he speared his hand into my hair.
“So, you’re not mad that I just showed up?” He leaned his forehead against mine, his chest heaving up and down as we both chased our breath.
“No,” I croaked out, fisting the soft cotton of his T-shirt.
“Good. I know you said that we were too big of a risk, but maybe it’s not as bad as we?—”
“Take me home,” I said, breathless now from my rapid heart thundering in my ears.
“Home?” he repeated slowly, studying my face.
“Yes, my sister is away, but I want to go home, to your place, with you. If…that’s what you still want.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He grabbed the back of my head and brought my mouth back to his.
“You are all I think about,” he murmured against my lips before he eased back. “But this is all up to you.”
“I want to be in your bed all night. I want breakfast without a sad goodbye. I want you, Coach.”
His chest rumbled against mine.
“We’ll figure it out, right?” I took his face in my shaking hands. We needed to get out of here before my adrenaline dropped and I lost my nerve.
“Absofuckinglutely,” he said, bobbing his head as he leaned in, a delicious growl erupting from his throat as he ran his tongue along the seam of my already chafed lips.
For the first time, I put fantasy in front of the hard truths of reality because, despite what it might cost me, I couldn’t let it go this time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
SILAS
“How did you know about today?”Rachel asked me as I headed down the highway toward my Greenwich Village apartment.
