Somehow.
“Is it all right to text you tomorrow? See if you’re okay?”
“You can.” Her lips curved with a sad smile. “I’d like that. And we’re friends. Friends can text.”
“Right,” I said, pressing my lips to her forehead. “Sweet dreams, Slugger.”
“Back at you, Coach.”
She leaned in and brushed her lips against my cheek, lingering long enough to tempt me to walk back in and fight.
And I would.
Once I figured out how.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
RACHEL
“If I’m not mistaken,I think you have a line,” Auden whispered next to me as she handed me a book to sign.
I’d been to a few author signings, but never one that was held just for me. A new romance bookstore in New Jersey had contacted me to come in and celebrate my latest release with a small in-store event.
As bad luck would have it, it was on the same weekend as my sister’s first softball trip. I hated missing it, but a couple of the team mothers I was friendly with promised to keep an eye on her, and I knew Taylor would never stray far from her friends.
I wouldn’t say I was all the way okay with it, but Auden had pushed me to say yes and had volunteered to be my driver and signing assistant.
I hadn’t anticipated enough readers showing up to form a line, and when I looked up from signing my new book to see if Auden was exaggerating, a lump scratched at the back of my throat.
I wished my sister were here to see this. I’d show her pictures, but I knew she’d bounce with excitement for me if she were here. She was old enough to come to a book signing,although I’d noticed some adult swag throughout the store that wouldn’t have been very fun to try to explain to her.
Auden was happy for me, but the signing took me back to when I was a kid in school at assemblies and shows. My grandmother had always tried to take the day off from work and come, but when she couldn’t, I’d had no one. I’d look out into the audience and pretend my mother or grandmother were seated in one of the back rows.
I was a grown-ass adult now, but during moments like this, when I wanted someone in the crowd looking on with pride, that hollow feeling I was usually able to ignore from all those years ago would come back.
I tried to focus on the readers who were excited to meet me. Some were fans of my books, and some were meeting me for the first time. It was a small event, but it felt like a big deal. An accomplishment and milestone to be proud of, no matter who was or wasn’t here.
I couldn’t have grown up like I had without forcing a little toxic positivity on myself at times. I’d strain to see the good in an event or award or just a special day when I’d yearn for family around me.
“How’s the hand?” Nina, the store manager, whispered from behind me. I guessed she was around my age, running the store with her sisters. She’d told us when we arrived that their mission was to celebrate local romance authors, and even though we’d had to drive over a bridge to get here, she’d assured me that I still very much counted.
“I’m good,” I told her, flexing my fingers. “This is a great turnout.”
“It is. You have serious buzz over this book. Even the readers who haven’t read you yet couldn’t wait to get their hands on the paperbacks as they came in. You’re welcome back anytime.”
Nina’s blue eyes sparkled as she tucked a stray lock of blond hair behind her ear.
“You only have a few more, so hang in there.” She squeezed my shoulder and raced back to the line.
“This is seriously cool,” Auden whispered. “I’m so proud of you.” She bumped her shoulder into mine. “There’s a Mexican place across the street. I’ll buy you all the margaritas to celebrate.”
I forced a smile as my stomach dipped. It wasn’t the same Mexican place as the one I’d taken Silas to, but I was already in a weird headspace. I didn’t have the energy for any morewhat-ifson what should be a great day.
“I’m more in the mood for Thai. I think I saw a place around the corner,” I said as Nina organized what was left of the line.
I hadn’t heard from him since the day after the gala. He’d texted, as promised, to make sure I was okay before he’d left for a weeklong road trip.
It was more than I’d expected after I’d told him that we couldn’t be together and followed it up with a thanks for everything and a goodbye. I’d started and deleted what felt like a million texts, but it wouldn’t have been fair to send them.
