“I’m a systems director for a company in Farmingdale. I can do most things from home, but I have to show my face in the office a couple times a month and take the train into Manhattan for quarterly meetings.”
“Ah, of course.” She nodded before taking a bite. “I figured it would be something like that.”
“Well, I was the computer nerd, and you were the jock, remember?”
Her smile shrank as she chewed, darting her eyes away from mine for a moment. Maybe she did care a little. Whatever I’d justseen flash across her face made me feel better—or at least like less of a sad jerk.
Emily had always been so far out of my league, she was in another stratosphere. It still shocked me how, for a brief moment in time, she had belonged to me. Then adult complications got in the way of a simple love, and the frightened kid in me had panicked and run.
I finally had my chance to tell her why I’d run that night—and how I’d regretted it ever since.
3
EMILY
Why couldn’tJesse just be the same jerk he’d been the night he’d broken up with me? No, he had to show up as the sweet, adorable guy I’d fallen in love with as a teen. Except the boy had grown up into a man so gorgeous, the fight to stop looking at him gave me a headache from the eye strain.
While I didn’t actively think about it, I remembered the night he’d broken up with me in too much detail. And because this was the first time I’d seen Jesse since then, it seemed like a million years ago and yesterday at the same time.
I couldn’t find it in me to blame a lifetime of failed attempts at love on a high school breakup, but I’d wondered on and off over the years. We had been kids—ruled by feelings and hormones, as Sabrina had said—so to connect all my hang-ups to Jesse and still be mad at him for it was ridiculous.
Yet every time a smile would spread across that perfect mouth and light up his stupidly handsome face tonight, ridiculous or not, it pissed me off.
I’d always expected to run into him someday, but I’d never seen him again. There had been no reason to be in each other’s towns if we weren’t together anymore, which had given me a much-needed buffer. Not worrying about running into Jessemade it easier to leave my house, not that I’d wanted to those first few weeks.
Sabrina had lived in the same town as Jesse, almost walking distance to St. Kate’s, but she’d come to see me during holiday breaks from school and summers, or we’d meet halfway somewhere.
She’d never called me out for being the coward I was back then, and I still adored her for it.
Jesse had moved away, or so I’d seen on Facebook when I’d let weakness win and had looked him up a few years ago. The second I’d spotted that damn table card with Jesse’s name on it, despite my best attempts to deny it to Sabrina, all I’d been able to think about was what it would be like to finally see each other again.
Now that I had, it wasn’t so bad. Nice, even. That both relieved and annoyed me. Asking him why he’d run out of my life after all this time was pointless, yet the longer I sat at the table, making small talk with Jesse and Caden as I tried to ignore Sabrina’s side-eye and smirk, the more the question burned in my brain.
“I swear, I still don’t recognize half these people,” Caden mused as his gaze swept over the dance floor.
“Maybe some are just plus-ones,” I offered. It was nice to hear music that I knew most of the words to for a change, aside from in my car and at the grocery store. Sabrina had dragged me to the dance floor a couple of times, and while things weren’t as tense between Jesse and me tonight as I’d expected they would be, a break from the table was welcome.
“Not that I have anyone to bring, but I couldn’t see bringing anyone here.” Caden shook his head before he tipped back his beer bottle.
“Again, you’re the one who suggested we come here,” Jesse said as he narrowed his eyes at Caden.
“Because I was nosy, not excited to come. Two very different levels of motivation.”
“And this is why we always got along.” Sabrina tapped his arm. “So, what’s your story for being without a plus-one?”
“Divorced.” Caden shrugged. “It’s been a couple of years. She got the house, so I’m living in town again. How about you?” He tipped his chin to Sabrina.
“Same. We never worked up to a house, so I guess that’s a good thing.” Sabrina’s smile was always muted whenever she mentioned her divorce. It had been about a year since it was finalized, but the hurt would still flicker across her face whenever anyone would bring it up.
“It sucks. I’m sorry. Whoever he was, he was an asshole.”
Sabrina laughed and bumped her shoulder against his.
“So was she.”
“How about you, Emily?” Caden asked me. “Where is your plus-one tonight?”
Jesse’s head whipped to mine in my periphery. The question, along with his eyes on me, triggered tension across my shoulder blades.
