I had a date to crash.
16
EMILY
What didI get myself into?
I wasn’t thrilled with the way he’d pushed for a date and had my suspicions of whether he really needed an editor or just an excuse to talk to me. But I’d already agreed, and he was the brother-in-law of a good friend, so I’d make the best of it.
And if nothing else, the good bread with the oil plate Mikayla had mentioned sounded great.
A real date with Alex or anyone else didn’t appeal to me, and that was a problem. I still had so many feelings for Jesse—feelings I was fairly sure were mostly, if not all, reciprocated. Whatever had been between us in the past remained in the present, but that didn’t mean we had a real chance now.
I’d edited enough romance books with the “right person, wrong time” storyline, and it was always so glorious when it came full circle in the end. Our full circle was much different and not as romantic.
The love was still there and neither of us was going anywhere, yet life still kept us apart. I was happy to have him in my life as a friend, but asking or hoping for more seemed a pointless exercise in futility.
Alex was nice enough and very attractive, at least in a conventional sense. He didn’t have the soulful brown eyes, a smile that liquefied my knees, or know enough about me from all that time ago to be one of the few to really know me now.
I parked my car, practicing an easy smile in the mirror behind my visor, and climbed out of the driver’s seat. When I turned around to click the key fob, goose bumps pebbled on my neck, as if eyes were on me from somewhere. Six o’clock had become a darker twilight in late October, and although the parking lot was full, no one appeared to be near or in their cars. The eerie dark silence sent a weird shiver up my spine.
I let out a long exhale. I was being ridiculous and needed to get a grip. Maybe working from home had given me a little paranoia, but I slid my key in between my fingers just in case my odd instincts were right and I needed to jab someone in the eye.
“Ready for your date?”
I froze, my head swiveling around to Jesse’s voice. He cocked an eyebrow from where he leaned against the front of my car, arms crossed as if he’d just caught me doing something wrong.
Granted, that was another odd feeling I had in meeting Alex tonight, but Jesse had no right to regard me that way.
“What are you doing here?”
Jesse came toward me, his slow footsteps echoing in the empty lot.
“My niece told me the time and place since Alex decided to announce in front of a team of kids where he wanted to take you, and here I am.”
“Yeah, I got that. But why?”
“You know why. We both do.”
“No, I actually don’t,” I huffed, crossing my arms over my torso to create some distance between us. “You have made it very clear that we are only friends. And I get it and understand why.But what I still don’t get is why you’re here. You don’t want me, but I can’t date anyone either. Does that seem fair to you?”
He flinched. “Is that what you think? After everything last weekend, you still think friends is all I want?”
“I really don’t know what you want. We have—” I pointed my finger back and forth between us “—chemistry. Old feelings, history. But you can’t get all possessive when you’ve made it clear for averylong time that we can’t be together.”
I hadn’t realized until I growled out theverythat my frustration with Jesse went beyond this pseudo-friendship we had. It was still him deciding what we could or should be together—and being without a say still infuriated me.
“Look, I have plans tonight. We can talk about this later.”
He stepped in front of me.
“Chemistry and old feelings.” He uttered a humorless laugh. “You want to know why I’m here? Because for what feels like my whole goddamn life, I’ve given up the only woman I’ve ever really loved for stupid fucking reasons, and I’m done.”
“Because someone asked me on a date, now you’re done? Everything is different.” I took in air with shaky breaths, like what he’d just said hadn’t knocked the wind out of me. “I can’t deal with this now. We’ll talk about it later.”
I tried to go inside but couldn’t move past the angry wall of Jesse.
“Please just go,” I whispered, darting my eyes from his piercing stare.
