“I know that. But I can’t afford to?—”
“Waste it? Along with any other chances and opportunities the good Lord is kind enough to give you? Yes, now you see my point.” She patted my cheek, her honey-colored eyes shining as she scanned my face.
“Come on, sweetheart.” She held out a hand for Maddie. “You have clothes in your room at our house. You can get showered and changed before Emily—I mean before dinner.”
I let my head fall back, my eyes drifting up to the blue sky and puffy clouds my sister used to insist were marshmallows when she was Maddie’s age.
“Stop laughing,” I whispered as I followed my mother to my truck.
11
EMILY
I madeit to Jesse’s parents’ house almost on autopilot, but once I arrived, I couldn’t get out of my car.
I darted my eyes back and forth from their front door to the bakery box of chocolate cream pie on my passenger seat. They would spot me any minute now, and I’d have to explain why I was lingering in front of their house like a stalker.
The day before I’d left for Maine what now felt like a million years ago, I’d gone on a drive to pick up a few last-minute things for my dorm and had ended up here. I hadn’t seen any of their cars parked in the driveway or in front, so I’d sat and stared at their house until I’d become disgusted enough with myself to leave.
I didn’t know what I would have said if Jesse had been home and found me there, or what my intentions were after driving forty minutes out of my way to simply stare.
This was different. My heartbreak over Jesse had been fresh and raw enough not to care what any of his neighbors would think if they spotted me or if they’d report back to him or his family that I had been there. But the weight of how it felt to be here again still seemed as heavy.
The house looked exactly the same, down to the beds of pastel-colored roses under the large storm window. When I’d come here for the first time, I’d been so nervous, Jesse had told me to stop shaking as we’d walked up that same stone walkway to his front door. I had been barely fifteen and Jesse and I had already been inseparable, but having dinner at his house seemed like a huge step to making us official—as much as two young teenagers could be an official anything together.
My mother hadn’t approved of my having a boyfriend at such a young age and had made sure to let us both know it when I’d brought Jesse over to our house. My grandfather had loved him, and both my grandparents had told my mother to calm down. Poor Jesse had endured dirty looks from her for simply existing each time she’d seen him, right up until graduation.
I’d thought that Jesse’s parents would react the same way, but this house had become a second home for me from that first day. Mrs. Evans would light up whenever I’d come over, and Tessa would climb all over me. They’d made me feel like family, and I’d hated losing them all when I’d lost Jesse.
Mrs. Evans was still the same warm and wonderful human being, and I’d be welcomed with open arms as always the minute I rang the doorbell.
So, what was stopping me?
While the outside hadn’t changed much, the inside wouldn’t be the same. Tessa’s giggle wouldn’t waft down the steps as she ran over to greet me, and Jesse wouldn’t pull me down the hallway for a passionate kiss hello when his parents weren’t watching.
This house held more than just memories for me. I’d grown up here along with Jesse. Enough time had passed for the images to fade, but the old days ran through my mind so vividly lately. The time I had with Jesse, no matter how long ago it was, had meant a lot to me. No matter how many years had passed,I’d had moments when I might not have actively thought about him for a while, but I could never forget.
I leaned my head against the steering wheel and sucked in a long breath, letting it out slowly to relax and maybe get a damn grip on myself. Before I could tell if it worked, a knock on my window made me jump. I whipped my head around to Jesse’s smirk on the other side of the glass.
I dropped my head back, chuckling to myself as I rolled down the window.
“The neighbors may think you’re casing the place if you stay in the car any longer,” Jesse quipped, a smile teasing the corner of his perfect mouth.
“Good point,” I said when I dragged my gaze to his. “I’m sorry,” I said, draping my hand over my eyes and peeking at Jesse through a crack in my fingers. “It’s just…” My cheeks singed with embarrassment over getting caught without a clue how to explain.
“Weird?” He quirked a brow, peering down at me as he rested his hand on the roof of my car, treating me to the flex of his bicep as he leaned closer. I’d always thought he was the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen, but the man he’d grown into was too much to handle lately, never mind to look at for too long.
“I suppose that’s a good word. But I couldn’t tell your mom no.” I grinned, my stupid heart jumping a couple of beats when his own smile deepened.
“No, you couldn’t have. You know Patti Evans when she has an agenda. She wasn’t going to let you get away with just saying hello today.”
“Your mom was always the best.” I drifted my gaze toward the house. “I’ve missed game-day lasagna.” I flicked my eyes back to Jesse.
Along with you, and now I’m not sure if I ever really stopped.
“Especially since my mom only made it on Christmas,” I said, glancing back at the house. “It took a while to get used to eating it on just a regular day.”
His blinding grin shrank.
