I’d set my phone down when Maddie had asked me to pass her the ball like they did in practice. We were both showing off a little for her coach, although my niece’s reasons were cute and not pathetic.
“What did she say?” Maddie asked as she popped off the couch.
“How do you know it’s Coach Emily?” I held my phone out of reach before she could look.
“Because you were smiling at the screen. You always do that when she answers you.”
Caden burst out laughing before he covered it with a fake cough.
Yes, I enjoyed speaking to Emily. Yes, I liked seeing her at the couple of practices we’d had, and it had felt good to joke around on the sidelines like old times. I looked forward to seeing her at the game this week with more anticipation than was probably healthy.
So no, I wasn’t abiding by my own rules to keep my distance, but because she was Maddie’s coach, I’d allowed myself the convenient excuse until the end of the season.
The smug look on Caden’s face told me he wouldn’t buy that, and if I was truthful with myself, neither did I.
Me:You taught me well, I guess. I hope I didn’t text too early.
Emily:You can always text me. And I’ve been up for a while. I promised my mother breakfast today since I’ve had to hear it all week about being too busy to call her.
Me:You better get over there and stop wasting time talking to me.
Emily:Getting into trouble because of you would be like old times. I feel warm with nostalgia.
Caden gave me a look but didn’t call me out on the wide grin making my cheeks ache.
“Did you play sports when you were in school?” Maddie asked Caden.
“Nope,” Caden replied, still smirking at me. “Well, not really, anyway. Uncle Jesse and I used to run track in our last year ofhigh school because it was an easy way to get out of the last class every day.”
“You can do that?” Maddie’s eyes lit up.
“No, you can’t,” I replied for him. “At least not in your school.”
“Really?” Her bottom lip jutted out into a pout as her shoulders drooped. “You guys were lucky then. Did you like it?” She looked between us.
“Track? I liked it well enough,” Caden said with a shrug. “There was really nothing to do but run, so I didn’t have to learn any kicks or cool things like you will in soccer.”
I was hopeful that soccer and reconnecting with her friends was helping her ease into a new normal. I’d gone to all the new school year events and had asked her teacher to let me know if there was anything going on in class or with her behavior that I should be aware of. In the last email exchange, her teacher had assured me that Maddie was doing fine so far and promised she’d keep me posted.
I still felt like I was just careening through parenthood by the seat of my pants, but things were going well enough to give me hope that I wasn’t totally screwing it up yet.
“Do you want to play outside, Caden? It’s not really that complicated to kick the ball back and forth if you want me to show you.”
“I appreciate that,” he said, tapping her chin with his knuckle. “Maybe before I leave.”
“I think you have some homework to do. How about getting a head start on that, so tonight, we can do whatever we want?”
I stood from the recliner and held out my hand.
“Go break in your new desk in your room. Let me know if you need any help.”
“Okay. See you later, Caden.” Her lips drooped into a disappointed frown as she looped her arms around his neck for a hug.
“I’m here for a little while longer unless your uncle throws me out. Do what you have to do, kiddo.”
She nodded and headed upstairs to her bedroom. Along with the purple comforter and sheets, I’d bought her a new desk and chair. My mother assured me it was the perfect little girl’s room, but I knew a perfect room for her was still in her old apartment with her mother.
Sometimes, it seemed like we were slapping Band-Aids over all the ways Maddie was hurting with new toys and activities. But what other choice did we have?
