“Fits, no?” She arched a brow. “I’m sorry, Jude. None of that ever should have happened.”
“It’s life, I guess. And my father has had a long road and is a lot, but I’ve hidden behind him because it was easier. Going back to work a few months ago and establishing more of a routine with us has helped, but we’ve both been frustrated for a lot of different reasons. I just don’t like to talk about mine.”
“I get it,” she whispered. “And I’m sure the looks you got when you moved back to town didn’t help.”
“I didn’t mind—mostly. A lot were nosy when I came back, but it was more concern I saw rather than pity. Knowing what happened to my parents, that I was newly divorced. Then the older women in town and some of the men wanted to help fix it.”
“Where I came to your recent rescue.” She batted her eyelashes.
“I guess. I’m grateful my father reamed me out over that when you invited us for dinner.”
“He did?” Her smile faded before she cringed.
“Right after you went back inside to get dessert, he called me a fucking idiot.”
She burst out laughing. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“I’m glad he did. But that wasn’t what snapped me out of it. He asked me if I’d be okay if you dated someone else who wasn’t afraid to be with you, and if I would enjoy seeing and hearing about it all the damn time.”
“What did you say?” Her voice was soft, almost inaudible, as she held my eyes.
“I said—” I let my thumb graze along her jaw, biting back a smile when it quivered under my touch “—I’d fucking hate it.”
“Good to know,” she said, sucking in her bottom lip as she darted her eyes away.
Even though I knew the cause of my marriage imploding was Maggie, I couldn’t help the guilt over knowing she’d had a point. My parents, and now my father, had been my focal point for a long time. Yes, she should have stuck by me, but a nasty voice in my head sometimes would taunt me, saying that maybe I’d never given her a reason to because my attention really was somewhere else.
It was why I put distance between myself and any future woman I met, both to protect myself from being burned and to not disappoint anyone else. But with Claudia, I forced the distance when I didn’t want it, and pushing her away made me miserable. Taking a chance on whatever this was between us was probably a risk for both of us, but the way she made me feel already made it worth it.
“Now,” I started, sliding my hand over the nape of her neck and pressing a kiss to her forehead, “let’s walk into the bar like you own the place.”
18
CLAUDIA
Jude tookmy hand and led me down the deserted street toward the bar. Small-town midweek nightlife was quiet enough to be creepy, even in the summer. We didn’t talk as we made our way down the block, the only sounds our footsteps and the thudding of my heart against my rib cage.
My heightened nerves from walking into Halman’s as the potential new owner were amplified because of the man next to me. I was thirty-five years old and had never trembled under a man’s touch before, and all he’d done was stroke my jaw. When he’d kissed my forehead, I could’ve melted into a puddle right there in front of Kelly Lakes’s probably only dry cleaners.
More than the crazy chemistry between us, I liked Jude. I loved how he took care of his father without an ounce of hesitation, even though it was never easy. And, although I wished I could find her and punch her in the face, how he’d loved his horrible ex-wife enough to stand by her without question. I understood how gun-shy he was to get involved with anyone and why he wanted to use me as a barrier. He was afraid of anything deeper, and the more time I spent with him, the more I started to relate.
I had a feeling that if I ever went all the way in with Jude—if he ever truly allowed me in—I’d never get out. Moving to this small town where he’d always be in some kind of proximity made the whole thing between us one big, reckless risk.
“Here we are,” Jude said, dropping my hand to open the heavy wooden door and hold it open. “After you, boss.”
“Boss,” I scoffed, my pulse kicking up again from the twitch of his lips. Maybe this distraction was good. I could take everything in at face value once I stepped inside and focus on not tasting Jude’s lips.
I shot him a tight smile as we made our way inside, taking slow breaths in and out of my nostrils to calm the fuck down and get out of my head.
“There she is!” Larry bellowed from behind the bar as he waved me over. “Come have a drink on the house before this all belongs to you, gorgeous.”
Jude’s groan behind me came out like a possessive growl.
“It’s business, caveman. You can stand down tonight and relax.” I reached behind me to pat his hand and got his denim-covered thigh instead.
“That’s some hard muscle there, Sergeant,” I whispered. “Or are you doing a full-body clench until we leave?”
He glared at me, his eyes thinned to slits, as we trudged up to the bar and took two empty stools at the end.
