“They don’t. At least, not for years. I haven’t had much to smile or laugh about.” He took a bite from his burger and set it down, my eyes darting from his strong hands around the bun to the roll of his throat as he swallowed. Only Jude could make eating a burger seem like an erotic experience.
“That’s why I liked poking for your attention. I guess I’m not used to you just giving me smiles for free.” I took a chomp out of my own burger, stifling a smile as he narrowed his eyes at me.
“You’ve always had my attention, and even when I was flustered by thepoking, it was cute.”
“So I’m cute and I fluster you?” I crinkled my nose and glared back at Jude. “I think I liked when you called me fucking beautiful better.”
He laughed as he chewed, his blue eyes shining with a brightness I hadn’t seen from him before. I was starting to really like this new guy across the table a lot, and I hoped he’d stick around at least until we got the check.
“And what did you mean by going to see your parents eventually?” Jude asked after he swallowed another bite. Every move this guy made was with a sexy-as-hell masculine grace. Seeing him work with his hands with Jake would probably make me light-headed.
“I need to give up my apartment, so I’m not paying two rents as I can’t stay in Peyton and Jake’s basement forever. Getting a place here and giving up my old one makes it all seem…” I trailed off as the familiar coil in my stomach tightened. Every time I’d force myself to search for apartments online, I’d click through a few listings until I’d get spooked enough to slam my laptop shut.
“Official?” Jude offered, his brow arched.
“I guess. This feels both like the most exciting thing I’ve ever done and the most terrifying at the same time. Like, I’m nervous about going to Halman’s with you later. A bar I’ve been to many times, but it’s all going to hit different when I get there because it’s almost mine.”
I shook my head and rubbed at the throb in my temple.
“I’ve never owned anything outright in my life. Nothing big anyway. I rent my apartment and always lease my cars. Owning is a commitment.” I let out a slow breath as the familiar anxiety bubbled up in my stomach. “I don’t have much experience with those.”
“You’re the love-’em-and-leave-’em type, I guess.” Jude smirked before taking a sip of water, his narrowed eyes still on mine.
“No. I’m chronically single, but there isn’t a string of broken hearts because of me back in Brooklyn. At least, not intentional ones. While I loved my job at one time, I never imagined doing it for the rest of my life or rising to an executive position where I’d have to sacrifice my soul. But this place, this town…”
Jude’s gaze softened as he shot me a tiny grin.
I bunched my shoulders. “I could see myself here. If I don’t fuck things up.”
“You definitely won’t,” Jude said, his voice dipping to a husky whisper.
“I don’t know how you could be that sure, but I will soak up that validation like the needy sponge I am. You and your father seem to have a lot of faith in me and my crazy plans.”
“Well, he likes you. And I know he appreciated how you welcomed him without making him feel self-conscious. I haven’t been able to figure that out since he snaps at me whenever I try to help him.”
“I think he’s just frustrated, and you’re his safe place. He can be grouchy and snappy with you because he knows you aren’t going anywhere. It’s a nice thing when you think about it.”
“Doesn’t feel so nice when I have to remind him of his limits and he tells me to get a life. But he’s right, I’ve used him as an excuse for too long.”
I assumed he was referring to his divorce, and while I itched to find out exactly what had happened, I wouldn’t push, and I’d let him tell me when and if he was ready.
The playfulness between us came to a halt as we both went back to our plates in silence. I caught a tightness in Jude’s jaw that hadn’t been there when we’d first sat down.
“What you said before about me being the love-’em-and-leave-’em type, I wanted to clarify something.”
“Clarify?” he said, squinting at me.
“I do like poking at people and things I should leave alone. It’s not just you. When I meet someone quiet, I like pushing to see if I can get them to open up. But after a while, I lose interest if they don’t respond. That didn’t happen with you.”
Jude’s brows knitted together, but he didn’t reply.
“I knew, underneath, there was a sweet guy very worth knowing. It only happened a few times, but you probably don’t realize that when you smile—really smile—you’re fucking breathtaking.”
Jude blinked, a tiny but real smile sneaking across his lips. “Breathtaking? I think that’s the first time I’ve been called that.”
“Well, it’s true. I’ve never spent more than a few minutes worrying about what someone thought about me, but you?” I huffed out a laugh. “The thought of you not wanting to be near me made me all kinds of miserable. It’s why I may have pretended a little too hard with the fake relationship or whatever thing.”
Jude swiped a napkin across his mouth and stood, his blue eyes blazing into mine as he made his way over to my side of the table. He came up behind me, his arms boxing me in on both sides before he brushed my hair off my shoulder and pressed a kiss to my cheek. I couldn’t help the soft sigh falling from my lips, a mix of desire and relief at the chance to finally be this close to him and mean it. I fought the temptation to turn my head and claim his mouth right here and now.
