“I am going to bring all this inside and get dessert out. I was eyeing that apple pie in the bakery aisle, so I’m glad you brought that.” I sniffed in a quick breath.God, could I stop fucking rambling?“Stay here and relax.” I scooped up the almost-empty bowl and jetted back into the kitchen.
Once I was inside, I dropped my head into my hands and pinched the bridge of my nose. I had to let this go. If I was truly starting a new life here, chasing after someone while trying to decode how they really felt about me was a waste of time—and not the right way to start anything.
14
JUDE
“You’re a fucking idiot,”Dad whispered when Claudia was out of earshot.
“Dad, it just happened. You know how Mary doesn’t let up about her daughter. It wasn’t a big deal, and Claudia didn’t seem offended to go along with it a few times.”
“A few times,” he scoffed. “Being two steps away from a recluse, I don’t hear the chatter around town, which before now was a blessing. I actually thought something was brewing between you two, but not an act. A woman like that shouldn’t be treated as some kind of deterrent just so no one pressures you to have a damn social life. Really, what the hell were you thinking?”
I scrubbed a hand down my face, shame hitting me from all directions tonight. At the time, when we’d been at the park and Mary had come up to us, pretending to be with Claudia was natural and easy. I looked forward to the relief of not being hassled about my lack of a love life and for Mary to finally stop trying to set me up with her daughter again. My oblivious stupid ass never considered how it might’ve made Claudia feel or what she’d thought of me when I’d explained my reasons.
When I’d walked her back to Jake and Peyton’s house that night, she’d flung herself into my arms, and I’d been almost too stunned to react. Whether or not she was milking it for their neighbor’s sake, her body so close to mine and her soft lips on my cheek triggered a craving that was too real to deny.
Yet, I kept doing it.
When she’d pretended to be with me at the bar that night, I’d caught the lust simmering in her dark eyes when she pulled away. Then, I’d watched her cozy up to Larry—or what I’d thought was cozying up—and very real anger had roared in my veins.
I’d spent most of this evening watching her with my father. She helped him without making him feel embarrassed and laughed with him all night at my expense. It triggered a jealous pang that she wasn’t that comfortable around me—and that was my fault. Maybe it was how we’d met, that no matter how many times I’d told her to forget about it, she still saw me as someone who judged her.
But more than that, my mixed signals didn’t help. I’d gone from acting like I didn’t want to be near her to not being able to stay away. And now, she wasn’t only visiting for the summer. She’d live here and would own the only bar in town.
I’d run into her all the time. And when everyone who hadn’t met her yet fell in love with her, I’d be reminded over and over again about the shitty way I’d treated her. And I’d have to deal with being on the outside looking in because I’d been too much of a chickenshit to ask for more when I’d had the chance.
“How long do you think she’s going to stay single here?” Dad asked, prodding me. “Did you think she’d keep playing this ridiculous game you suggested if she met someone genuinely interested in her?”
“It’s not that I’m not gen—” I stopped when Dad’s brows popped up. “I can’t give her anything. I have too much going on, and she deserves someone who can give her all his attention.”
“You seemed to be giving her a lot of attention tonight. In fact, I don’t think you’ve taken your eyes off her once since we got here.”
I started to say something but shut my mouth. What was the point of a denial when I knew how obvious I was? I couldn’t help it. She was so damn gorgeous. Dad nailed it when he said she was brighter than the sun, but I was afraid to be in her orbit for fear I’d like it too much. That I’d likehertoo much. But resisting was a fight I seemed to be losing more and more every time I saw her.
“Listen to me,” Dad growled as he glanced back at the screen door, most likely checking for Claudia’s return. “I will move myself into a home if you keep doing this. What Maggie did to you was awful, and you have every right to be angry. I keep telling you this but you don’t seem to want to listen, so I’ll say it again. I will not let you use me as an excuse not to have a life.”
“I don’t want you to go into a home, and Mom wouldn’t either.”
“Well, I don’t wantthis. Son,” he said, searching my gaze with a slow shake of his head. “I lost the woman I loved, and there is nothing I wouldn’t give to have her back for even one more day.”
“We don’t… It hasn’t…” I trailed off as I tried to find my words. “We haven’t known each other that long. I don’t think I can compare Claudia to what you had with Mom.”
“Do you like the idea of Claudia moving here and then finding someone else, someonenotscared shitless to be with her, and then having to seeandhear about it all the damn time?”
“No. I fucking hate it,” I blurted out with a certainty that took even me aback.
Dad dropped his head, a laugh rumbling through his chest. “Then it looks like you have a choice to make.” He tilted his chin toward the door. “Pretend I raised you to be a decent guy and go help our hostess clean up and bring out dessert. And maybe in between, you could apologize for—”
“For being a fucking idiot?”
He nodded. “Start with the little things, but overall, yes.”
I chuckled to myself and stood, grabbing our plates and the empty water bottles and headed inside, letting my gaze settle on Claudia for a long minute before I slid the screen door open.
It was unfair for a woman to be that damn beautiful. I’d already lost myself with her in the kitchen earlier, touching her because I couldn’t help my damn self. I wanted to come up behind her, slide my arm around her waist to pull her gorgeous body to mine, and drag my lips over those bare shoulders that had driven me fucking crazy since the moment I’d seen her tonight.
Her head whipped to me as I stepped inside.
