After she pulled me in for a hug, I spotted the time on my smartwatch and cringed.
“I am so sorry to come here this late on a school night.” I sighed, dragging my hand down my face. “I’m not making the best decisions today.”
“You’re allowed,” she said, lifting a shoulder. “I was a little worried about you making the drive at night, but I know how it is to want to jump into your car and get as far away from where you used to work as soon as possible.” She squeezed my wrist. “And I would have been up anyway. I have workshop lessons to plan. It’s the last week of school, so they’re letting the guidance department fill up the time now that the core classes are done and finals are over.”
Peyton was a guidance counselor at the local high school here. She’d loved her job in Brooklyn as much as I’d loved mine, and while the school she’d worked for hadn’t fired her, they’d made it impossible for her to stay. She’d uprooted herself from Brooklyn to her favorite uncle’s hometown and ended up marrying his best friend.
“I still have some of those crazy teas that you brought up here if you’d like a cup. Not that lavender tea leaves would help.”
“No, they would.” I set my bags gently by her door. “I’m sorry. I need to get my shit together. I was fired. Happens, right? I need to suck it up and grow up.”
“You were fired from the job you had for over a decade. Give yourself a break. If you didn’t feel like shit today, you wouldn’t be normal. You’ll figure it all out.” She looped an arm around my shoulder. “Come into the kitchen. My niece and I made cookies the other day, and I still have a tin left. Maybe a few misshapen chocolate chip cookies and a slug of bourbon in your tea will help.”
“I don’t know about that, but it’s a great fucking start.”
She laughed as I followed her into the kitchen. Her daughter’s baby things took over half of the living room. A mountain of toys and stuffed animals peeked over the top of her play crib. I looked forward to Keely’s giggles tomorrow as I tried to forget the shitty turn my life had just taken.
“Before I drown my sorrows in lavender and booze, I need to call my parents.”
My parents had smothered me in love for my entire life, but sometimes that love came with hovering and a slight but constant push. I was their miracle, a baby who’d shown up late in their lives when they’d given up hope of having children. I had been given the best of everything, but sometimes a person needed space, not hovering, to solve their problems. I’d tried to explain, but they never understood. So I’d respectfully put distance between us when I felt this way.
Being their only child came with extra expectations, but no one cheered for me louder than my parents did. I’d once overheard one of my great-uncles whisper to my father what a shame it was to have “just a girl.” My father had lashed back in loud Cantonese, his words coming so fast that I’d only understood half of it, telling him that not only could I do anything the boys in this family could do, but I’d do it better, and that I was his prize, never his shame.
I did everything I could to make them proud, and although it wasn’t my fault, losing my job seemed like letting them down.
I needed recovery time and to be away from my apartment in Brooklyn and any reminders of my upended daily life, but I couldn’t make them understand that. They’d argued with me as I zipped my suitcases as to why I had to leaveright then and therewithout taking a night to calm down and think. My father had gone so far as to offer to come get me to stay at their house because he was afraid of me driving anywhere upset. While it had been tempting to let my parents baby me for a night, the babying would only lead to more well-meaning questions and suggestions I didn’t want to answer or think about, and I’d have ended up feeling guilty and awful for inevitably snapping at them.
And yet, I still felt awful and guilty for proving them right when I’d gunned up here at ninety miles per hour and mouthed off to the sexy cop who’d stopped me.
“Oh, thank God.” My mother’s heavy sigh reverberated through Peyton’s kitchen. I put the call on speaker and set my phone down on the table. “Are you at Peyton’s, or did you stop anywhere? You’re not at one of those rest stops at night, are you? They traffic people there.”
“Traffic?” I heard my father’s hearty laugh. “Where did you hear that, Mei? You watch too muchDateline.”
“It’s true!” Mom fired back. “Claudia is so pretty. She’d be exactly what they’d be looking for, and I’ve been sick thinking about it.”
Peyton bit back a laugh when I met her gaze.
“I drove straight here. I didn’t stop, and I wasn’t trafficked. I’m fine and about to have a cup of tea and settle in for the night.”
“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Ng,” Peyton called out.
“Ah, Peyton. How’s the baby?” Mom gushed. “Did she like the giraffe we gave her?”
“Keely’s a toddler now, although we all still call her ‘the baby.’ She loves it, thank you so much. I know she’s going to be thrilled to see Aunt Claudia here when she wakes up in the morning.”
“I think we can all get some sleep now,” Dad said, his warm chuckle the first thing to make me smile tonight. “Sorry for trying to stop you. I should have known my Claudia wouldn’t let her emotions change how she drives.”
I winced, both at my father calling me “his Claudia” and then complimenting me on the level head that I absolutely had not had behind the wheel tonight.
“Yes, you both need some sleep. I love you.”
“We love you too.”
I shut my eyes, the relieved crack in my mother’s voice triggering more guilt. “And don’t worry, you’ll find something much better. I have no doubt.”
“Neither of us does,” Dad agreed. “Love you.”
I pressed the end button and let my head fall on Peyton’s kitchen table with a soft thump.
