What would I do without Julie?
Jesus, I couldn’t go there now. She’d see it all over my face. I’d keep my own terror in the back of my mind and be the man she needed, not the one scared to death of thinking about what life would be like without her.
It would be nothing.Iwould be nothing. So she’d beat this and be okay because I needed her too much to think of anything else.
The ride from LaGuardia Airport should have been less than thirty minutes, but thanks to an accident on the highway, it took over an hour. Once the cab pulled into the emergency room parking lot, I ran inside with my suitcase trailing behind me. I was breathless by the time I made it to the intake clerk.
“Can I help you, sir?” The clerk squinted at me from behind her glasses. I was sure I was a sight, still in the sweats I’d thrown on once I’d scheduled the last-minute flight and had to race to the airport. I hadn’t bothered to look in a mirror since I’d boarded the plane.
“My wife is here. Julianne Robison.”
The clerk nodded, tapping on her keyboard with long red fingernails before she raised her head.
“I’ll buzz you in.” She flicked her eyes to the double doors at the end of the hallway. “She’s in curtain four.”
“Thank you,” I muttered before cursing the slowly opening doors and running inside.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally found the number four and ripped open the curtain.
My heart seized when I met Julie’s gaze. Her skin wasn’t only pale. It was gray. Her cheeks were wet as she took slow breaths in and out around the nose cannula giving her oxygen.
“Hey, darlin’,” I whispered, leaning over the bed to kiss her forehead. Her face crumpled as I came closer. “Sorry it took me so long, but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” I cupped her cheek and let my thumb drift back and forth to clean up the tears. “How does your chest feel now? Are you in pain?”
“Not as much,” she said, reaching up to grab my wrist. “Just hard to take in a breath. I thought it was just a chest cold.”
“There is no such thing as just a chest cold when it comes to you, but we’ll talk about that later. How’s the fever?” I asked her and cradled her cheek. Her skin was warm and clammy but not burning up.
“They gave me something for it, so it broke. But I’m tired.” She ran a weak hand through my hair. “Did you just roll out of bed?” she teased with a hint of a tired smile.
“Sort of. I got a weird look from the ER clerk.” I pulled the visitors chair closer to her bed.
“I shouldn’t talk. I’m sure I look like death.”
I shook my head. “You’re always beautiful to me, Jules.”
“Yeah, I’m gorgeous.” She scrubbed a hand down her face.
“When did this turn?”
“Little by little, I guess,” she said with a shrug. “Yesterday was the worst. I texted Karen when the room started to spin and I couldn’t breathe.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” I smoothed the hair off her forehead.
“Please don’t be. You can’t watch me all the time. I’m sorry I was stupid. I thought I could just power through, but I guess not.” She popped up, clutching her chest as she coughed. It was deep and dry and scary as hell.
I rubbed her back when it finally stopped, shaking my head.
“Power through. Really?”
She laughed at my narrowed eyes.
“I know you’re mad at me.”
“Mad?” I coughed out a laugh. “I’d like to put you over my knee right now.”
“Wait until I’m better so we can both enjoy it.”
I glared at her and picked up her hand, lacing her fingers with mine as I watched her chest slowly rise and fall, a high-pitched wheeze escaping her every time she tried to suck in more air.
