“I was happy to do it. And I carried you the right way over a threshold. So we solidified this fake marriage thing.”
I smiled through the twinge in my stomach. Joking about our fake marriage wasn’t so funny anymore. I didn’t want anything fake with Landon when it all felt too real to joke about.
“I hope that achievement didn’t pull your back,” I joked. “I’m no lightweight.”
He shook his head. “Please stop saying things like that. You’re cute when you sleep.” His smile grew as he came closer. “Like I told you before, you’re perfect.” He ran his thumb back and forth over my jaw and brought my hand to his lips.
There was so much I wanted to say. All I felt and all I wanted scratched at the back of my throat as I tried to will my heart back into my chest.
The only word that came to the tip of my tongue wasstay.
“Get some sleep,” he whispered before pushing off the bed. I melted into a puddle on my sheets as he stepped out and closed my door behind him.
You didn’t ask friends to crawl into bed with you. But we weren’t friends. Not anymore and not for a while.
And now it was time to do something about it.
18
JULIE
How do you tell your best friend of two decades that you’re in love with him?
I spent half the night after Landon put me in bed trying to figure out just that, and I still had no clue. After hitting the snooze button ten times, I finally rolled out of bed an hour later than usual. I tiptoed out of my bedroom, but the spare room door was open and his bed was made.
I took a quick shower and headed down the stairs, still rehearsing in my head what I’d say or how I’d even bring it up. To be this afraid to talk to Landon was ridiculous, especially since, at this point, what was there to lose? We were too old to play these games. At least,Ifelt too old and too exhausted to dance around this anymore.
I was almost sure he felt the same way, but if I was wrong, I’d deal with it. I’d been through a lot in the past six months, and I could handle an uncomfortable conversation with my best friend of twenty years.
The best friend I was in love with and who was staying in my house.
Mom was right. Landon would always be in my life. But he deserved to know where he stood. We both did.
I let out a grateful gust of air when I found a full coffeepot. I fished my favorite oversized mug out of the cabinet and heard the basement door creak behind me.
“Morning, sleepyhead.” I heard the smile in Landon’s voice before I turned around.
Jesus.Karen had teased about running into each other in nothing but a towel, but finding Landon in a sweat-soaked tank top was far worse. The cotton stuck to every sinew of muscle, highlighting every hard ridge and ripple of his torso. I spotted veins trailing up his forearms as he tipped back his water bottle, and my eyes followed the roll of his throat as he swallowed. His dark hair was slicked back, almost black, as a piece fell over his forehead.
I wanted to blow off work, logic, and self-preservation to attack his mouth, peel off his shirt, and drag him into the shower with me to get him dirty in a whole different way.
My house had become a powder keg, and I was ready to blow.
“Morning,” I croaked out. “I guess you found everything down there okay?”
“Yeah, that’s a nice setup for a home gym. Do you use it at all?”
“I do now. For the past few weeks, at least,” I said, stirring the creamer a little too long to distract my eyes from where they really wanted to go. “I do low-impact weight workouts for my joints and yoga. Glad you’re getting some use out of it.”
“This hotel definitely has some sweet amenities,” he teased, wiping his face with a towel. I stole one last look at the flex of his biceps. “If you’re up for it, I’d like to take you out to dinner tonight.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I said, the fight to keep my eyes on his and not drift lower making my head ache. “You treated to lunch yesterday and pizza last night.”
“And I’m staying in your house, so dinners are the least I can do. Pick the place, and we’ll go.” He slung the towel over his shoulder. “I better get ready to log on by nine.” He dipped his head, the corner of his perfect mouth twitching with a smirk. “You okay over there, Jules?”
“Fine,” I said, my attempt to sound indignant falling flat when my reply came out breathless. “Why?”
“I don’t think you’ve blinked in the past minute. Sure you’re okay?”
