“Sweet dreams, darlin’,” I rasped, almost grazing the corner of her mouth when I brushed my lips over her cheek.
“Get some sleep, doll,” she replied in a throaty whisper.
Julie and I had slept in the same places before over the years, though knowing she was so close all night would be torture, but I’d find the patience to get through it. Somehow.
I grabbed a T-shirt and shorts and headed for Julie’s bathroom. I hadn’t made a stop in almost five hours, and my neck and shoulders were jacked. I let the hot water sluice over the tight muscles of my back as I pressed my hands against the tile. I inhaled a long breath through my nostrils and caught a whiff of the open bottle of Julie’s body wash on the shelf. She always smelled like vanilla, even in college. I’d teased her about smelling like cookies ever since we first met, when I’d wanted nothing more than to take a bite, even though she was dating my friend and off-limits.
Of all the regrets I had in life, letting someone else have Julie would always be at the top of my list.
My mind ventured to dirtier places, like Julie in this shower, naked and wet, suds dripping down her body. She had no idea how gorgeous she was, back then and especially now. My cock hung heavy between my legs as I wrapped my hand around my shaft and wished for her.
I’d start at her neck, learn all the sounds she made as I ran my lips lower, over those beautiful, full breasts until I captured a nipple between my teeth. My cock jerked as I imagined her nipple pebbling on my tongue as she whimpered my name.
“Like that, darlin’?” I panted out as my hand moved faster, imagining her gorgeous body quivering with need as I made her forget about Nate and every other asshole who’d come before me. Because she was mine. She belonged to me, even if she didn’t know it yet.
I pictured sinking to my knees, hooking one of her gorgeous legs over my shoulder as I licked my way inside her. I’d kiss and suck every delicious inch as she’d unravel in my arms. I wanted to do everything to her, and once I had my hands on her, I knew I’d never get enough.
“Fuck,” I grunted out as I pumped faster. I’d tell her to come on my tongue, and then once she did, I’d sink deep inside her and fuck her until neither of us could move. “Julie,” I whimpered as my balls ached for release and my body cried out for the woman two doors away, the one I’d loved for my entire life but had only just figured out now. “My Julie…”
I came in long spurts, the rush of the shower washing it away as if it had never happened. I gulped in breaths of air as my heart hammered against my rib cage. The small amount of relief took the momentary edge off, but nothing would ever come close to the real thing.
Being clueless about my feelings for Julie would have served me a hell of a lot better while I was staying in her house. I’d never believed “the one” existed until I’d married her—and then I’d realized that she’d been there all along.
17
JULIE
When I told Landon to stay here as long as he wanted, I knew that having him two walls away from me would have me on edge, but I was confident that I could handle it.
That was, until I heard him jerk off in my shower and everything went to a higher and even more unbearable level.
The groan echoing from my bathroom reminded me of our kiss, only this time deeper, almost guttural. I wasn’t sure if a fantasy brought on by wishful thinking made it sound like he called out my name, or if he was really coming to thoughts of me.
I didn’t know what to do about either.
My house wasn’t tiny, but small enough to be cozy—though, cozy wasn’t necessarily a good thing for us right now. Upping the ante on the stifling sexual tension only made the crossroads we’d come to even worse.
When I’d watched Landon unpack the suitcases out of his truck, it finally hit me that he was staying—and how much I’d always wanted him to stay. Our goodbyes were always sad whenever he’d have to go back to Charlotte, and Nate had called me out a few times for moping a bit for a day or two after he left. I’d tell Nate I was just missing my best friend and nothing more, but I’d been questioning every piece of our history lately, trying to pinpoint the moment when everything had changed.
If I looked back with an honest perspective, Nate wasn’t that wrong. It would be Landon, not Nate or anyone I was involved with at the time, whom I’d run to with good news first. When I was sick and kept it from Landon, it made the fear and anguish that much worse because—even though it was all my doing—I didn’t have my best friend to lean on when I needed him the most.
The lack of shock from Landon’s father that his son had married me, as if it was an inevitability, shook me into consciousness. My feelings for Landon ran so deep, I’d somehow managed to keep them a secret from even myself for years, yet others could clearly see.
I’d leaped into Landon’s arms on instinct and clutched on to him like the lifeline he always was to me. Not because of the bad turns my life had taken as of late, but because I always needed him, plain and simple—and so fucking complicated.
I’d asked him to put me down, even though it was the opposite of what I wanted. I couldn’t think with his body pressed so close, or the mix of wonder and lust in his gaze as his eyes had locked on mine. The flutters in my belly had become a zing of desire that shot straight to my core.
In the long minute he’d taken to set me down on the floor, my body had grazed his, sparking all kinds of fantasies. Landon pinning me against the wall as he plundered my mouth—and other places. I wanted to make him scream my name like I wanted to believe I’d heard in my shower and watch him come, knowing I’d done that to him.
I’d tossed and turned most of the night. Thoughts of his body sliding against mine at my door and of him pumping his probably huge cock in his hand in my shower as he might or might not have called my name played in my dreams during the short amount of sleep I’d managed to get.
I woke up tempted to crawl next to him, even though his body would have taken up all the futon space. But if he’d rolled on top of me—
When I dropped my empty mug into my kitchen sink in frustration, the clatter of the ceramic against the spoon was loud enough for me to wince. I’d plowed through half a day’s work in two hours, trying to distract myself from heading upstairs and getting into bed with my best friend. Now, I had nothing else to do but think of what I’d heard last night, what it made me want, and what the hell to do about it.
If I’d thought marrying him would be dangerous, living with him was about to do me in and he’d only just gotten here.
I rubbed the knot at the back of my neck when my phone buzzed on my kitchen counter.
