“Such a heartbreaker,” I teased, drawing a chuckle out of him as he lifted a shoulder.
“I try not to be. I’m honest. You’re the most important woman in my life, so as long as I still have you…” He searched my gaze, one side of his mouth curving up.
“Always.” His lips spread into a wide smile at my reply. “Whether you like it or not. Would you mind if we called it a night? I’m afraid if I don’t turn in soon, I’m going to crash big-time and I’ll have to drag myself through tomorrow.” I held up a hand when I spied the deep crease in his brow. “Again, I’m fine. I just need to get some rest after the long trip.”
“All right, I’ll believe you.” He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets and pivoted back toward the hotel.
I was wired enough not to be able to sleep for a couple of hours, and I hoped I wouldn’t have to pay for it tomorrow. My request to cut the night short had less to do with getting rest and more with shaking off whatever that was between Landon and me.
I’d lost count of the arguments Nate and I had fallen into over Landon. I’d get a side-eye from Nate anytime Landon would call, and he’d be just this side of asshole when Landon would come to visit. The last straw was when I’d extended a business trip to Charlotte in January to visit him, and Nate had flat-out accused me of having a years-long affair, insisting a man and a woman could never be close friends for that long without it turning into something else. Looking back, it was hard to tell if it was jealousy or projection because of the affairhewas having at the time.
Of course I noticed how attractive Landon was, but I never was tempted to be unfaithful or even thought about crossing those lines with him at all—until whatever was in the desert night air almost made me lose my mind and myself.
My almost-kiss tonight with Landon was most likely a cross between a fabrication of my imagination and nursing my bruised ego from feeling scorned and unlovable. I never doubted that Landon loved me, but the way his eyes had bored into mine as he called me beautiful made the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up.
My body and my mind couldn’t be trusted. I’d sleep this off and forget about it, although I couldn’t deny enjoying the momentary distraction.
We headed to the elevators in a comfortable silence, even if I tried to ignore Landon’s eyes on me in my periphery. I wasn’t sure if it was him still trying to find something wrong, or if he was having the same confusing battle with himself.
“You don’t have to walk me to my room. Stay, play some slots.”
“Nah, I’m not a gambler, you know that. I’m a little tired myself.” Landon pressed his hand to the small of my back as I stepped on to the elevator, a move he’d made a million times before and shouldn’t have triggered a jolt of heat down my legs from his touch. I needed to crawl into my fluffy hotel bed and reset my brain.
He held the door open when the elevator dinged on the third floor. “A pretty girl shouldn’t walk anywhere alone in Vegas.”
“Oh please,” I said as I fumbled in my purse for my keycard. “The Southern gentleman thing is adorable, but nothing is going to happen to me.”
“I live in the South, but I’m still from Connecticut.” He held out his hand until I gave him the keycard. “But yes, I’m a gentleman, and I wasn’t kidding about that top.” His eyes flicked to my chest as the lock beeped. I had to laugh at his wry grin as he held the door open.
“You’re ridiculous,” I said, grabbing the card. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” He kissed my cheek and turned back to the elevators. I allowed myself a minute to watch him leave, tearing my eyes away when they traveled up his strong legs and lingered on the perfect swell of his ass.
I went inside, locking the door behind me before I fell back against it, pressing the heels of my palms against my eyelids.
I was scared, confused, and starving for a man’s attention to satisfy a silly quest for validation. That had to be it.
I stripped and pulled on my pajamas, washing my face with ice-cold water to snap out of whatever had just come over me, hoping the shock would cool off the fantasy enough to keep it out of my dreams.
5
LANDON
Ihad such a shitty night of sleep, I wasn’t even sure if I’d gotten a full hour. Between tossing and turning, I couldn’t help myself and Googled lupus on my phone just to learn a little more about what Julie was dealing with. I didn’t anticipate spiraling down a rabbit hole of horrors. Most sites listed it as a “very treatable disease,” but the bullet points of potential complications tortured me enough to keep my eyes open for most of the night.
Julie seemed embarrassed by the weight gain, but she was still as beautiful as she always was. So much so that when I wasn’t obsessing over symptoms she might be experiencing that I couldn’t see, I was trying to figure out what the hell had come over me by the fountains.
When she’d cried in my arms last night, I’d wanted to hold her as close as possible and shield her from this sickness that I didn’t understand and didn’t know how to fight. I’d been married and had my share of failed relationships, but I meant it when I said she was the most important woman in my life, which made all I’d found out about what could happen to her plain fucking terrifying.
What would I do without Julie? It was a question I never wanted to ponder past the hypothetical, and that desperation had almost made me lose it enough to kiss her last night.
We knew each other well enough to flirt and tease back and forth without it meaning anything. I trusted Julie to show her everything about myself and not have to mask any kind of weakness. I’d thought it was the same for her until she’d hidden her illness from me for months. I was still angry but understood her reluctance to worry me after I’d spent the wee hours of the morning freaked out by my own research.
Julie had meant everything to me for most of my life. She was the first one I wanted to spill any good news to, and when things went wrong, only she would do.
Everyone else had tried to be there for me when my mother had passed away right after graduation, but I’d only wanted Julie. She’d stayed in our spare room the weekend following the funeral after I asked her not to leave because she was the only one who could soothe me just by being there.
I wanted to return the favor so badly, to be the person she leaned on to get her through this, and that compulsion had kept me up most of the night—along with Google.
