She didn’t reply or look my way as she brought the scone to her mouth. I was relieved when she took a big bite.
“I think these are my new favorite after the chocolate cream pie,” she said, still not looking in my direction. “You’re talented, that’s for sure.”
“Why are we like this, Olivia?”
She stopped mid-chew to finally lift her head. “Like what?”
I let her question linger when I heard the whistle of the tea kettle. I got up, filled a mug with water, added milk and sugar along with the tea bag before I handed it to her.
“How did you know I took it like this?”
“Because I pay attention,” I said with a harsher tone than I’d meant. “Why can we talk about everything else but how we feel?”
“Because we’re both scared of it?” She shrugged and wrapped her hands around the mug. “At least I am.”
“We scare you?”
She pinched the string of the tea bag between her fingers, chuckling to herself. “Honestly, we terrify me.”
“You’reafraid of something? Since when?” I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Longer than you think,” she said, breathing out a deep sigh. “Guys in my life have been…easy, for lack of a better or nicer word. I never had some kind of quest for their attention like I always had with you. I could have a boyfriend or not have a boyfriend. It wasn’t important. But you, you’re important. Too important.”
“And you think you aren’t just as important to me?”
She darted her eyes around the room, her lips pursed as she leaned back. “A year ago, if I’d walk into a room you were in, you’d walk out.”
“And you’d just follow me.” I snickered. “So what’s the point?”
“That’s theexactpoint.” She dropped her head for a moment and sucked in a breath. “I loved you, whether I realized it or not, and you could barely tolerate me. As I’ve said, I’m aware that was my fault. All that friction between us created this inferno of sexual tension, and maybe it clouded things.”
“We aren’t those people anymore. And yes, I’ve been attracted to you since my dick knew how to get hard.”
“Jeez, if the bakery thing doesn’t work out, you could always write Valentine cards instead.” She sipped her tea, squinting at me over the rim.
“What I’m saying is, yes, chemistry was never a problem. I have no doubt that was the cause of most of our fights. There was too much, and neither of us knew what to do with it. But it’s different in so many ways now. You can’t see that?”
“Iwantto see it,” she said, her voice scratchy and small, almost unrecognizable. “I want it all with you.”
“And I want it all with you too.” I slammed my hand on the table, frustrated that even though I was ready to tell her, I couldn’t get the damn words out.
I shot up out of the chair and crouched in front of her. “We were only supposed to be pretending at Donnie’s wedding, but it was real, even if it didn’t make sense at the time. And since then, you’ve been all I thought about and all I wanted. I’m not good with words, but the way I feel about you, why I want you has nothing to do with the fact that you’re having my baby.” I grabbed her hands from her lap. “Granted, that’s an awesome surprise, but it’s not why I’m here. Maybe it gave me the push to stop denying how much I felt about you, but I’d want you regardless.”
After months of not being able to say anything, I spilled everything out in a matter of minutes. “My landlord gave me a lease agreement for the new space, but I didn’t sign it.”
“You didn’t?” She crinkled her nose at me. “Why?”
“Because,” I said, cupping her neck, “what’s the point if I can’t celebrate it with you? In fact, without you,everythingseems pretty damn pointless. You’re my person, Olivia.” I cradled her cheek, running my thumb back and forth along her jaw. “I’m so fucking lucky to have you. Maybe I couldn’t say it the right way and maybe I blurted out something stupid that hurt you, but Iloveyou.” I tightened my grip on the back of her neck. “God, I love you so much. You’re everything to me. Please say you believe that.”
Her eyes swam with more tears.
“I know what you mean about being scared,” I continued even though she didn’t reply. “Or about having whiplash from how we used to be, but I don’t think we ever really knew each other at all. Or maybe deep down we were afraid to. I don’t know about you, but I can’t go back now.”
Thick tears streamed down her cheeks even though she barely blinked.
“I can’t lose you. You’re my best friend and the love of my life. It just took the favor you offered me to realize that.” I smiled, but she didn’t return it. “I should have told you a long time ago, but it was always the truth.” I fell back on my heels and heaved a long sigh, panic taking over the adrenaline running through my system. “Christ, Olivia, say something.”
She shifted in her chair toward me, cradling my cheek with a shaky hand. “That game has gotten so much better,” she whispered, then her mouth split into a wide grin.
