“Lucas, it’s me.” There was a long pause. It was Sam. “I believe you, and I want all those things too. But we need to talk. Too many things happened over the last twenty-four hours. Call me back.”
I dropped my head between my legs. I never felt such overwhelming relief in my life. She believed me. She still sounded angry, but I would do whatever I needed to—grovel, beg, cry. I fucked up, but we could fix this.
“Hey.” I turned around and saw Sam standing in the threshold of her bedroom. I was so into listening to her message I didn’t even hear the front door unlock.
“Hey,” I whispered. Sam looked drained. Her eyes were red and puffy, probably due to lack of sleep and crying over my stupidity over the last day. It twisted my insides to know I was the one to break her like this.
“Are you hurt? That was a bad fall.” I stood up from the bed and reached for her hand. Her palm was raw and bruised. I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed the healing cuts and scrapes, attempting to erase all the pain I had caused. She shut her eyes as if my lips on her skin were causing her physical pain.I did this to her.A lump formed in my throat.
Sam shrugged. “I’ll live. I’ve done worse.” Her voice was scratchy and strained. This wasn’t the Sam I was used to seeing—the one who lit up whenever she saw me, laughed and giggled at my dumb jokes, and melted from my kisses. Sam had put me on a pedestal the entire time I’d known her, even all those years ago. The disappointment and sadness in her eyes as she looked at me now killed me. I was about to head straight to the begging as this was bringing me right down to my fucking knees.
I pulled her over to the bed to sit next to me. I cupped her cheek, and she leaned into my palm. That was progress at least.
“I’m so, so sorry. I never should have run out like that.”
“How could you possibly think I would ever consider taking Marc back? After all this time, you have that little faith in me?” I could tell by the clipped tone to her voice that while she believed me, she was still angry as hell.
“You have a child together, and you fell for his line of crap once—I’ve always been afraid he’d come back and take you away. I—”
“You what? Thought when I told you I loved you I was lying? I let you get close to my daughter and almost move in because you were a casual in-between fling until I got back with Marc?” I reached for her hand, but she pulled it away.
“You didn’t trust me either, Sam. I realize how it looked, but you know me better than that. Have I ever given you a reason to think I would hurt you? For the past year, I’ve never looked at anyone else. I only saw you. How could you not know that?”
“I tried to tell you how I felt about you back in college—twice. Both times you had a beautiful woman in tow, and you didn’t even notice I was there. I went to your apartment today to tell you I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, and there was a naked woman in your kitchen. In the blink of an eye, I was back there again. Pining for a man who had better options than mousy little me.” Sam’s voice was steady, but tears ran down her face.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. You were never mous—” Sam rolled her eyes and held up her hand.
“The way you left last night, you were cold as ice. I was trying to do the right thing for us, and you walked out my door like you were walking out of my life.”
I took a deep breath. I wasn’t the only one with a knot in my stomach for the past year, waiting for everything to turn to shit.
“It made me sick thinking of you alone with Marc—”
“I don’t want Marc; I want you! Since I was eighteen years old, all I’ve ever wanted was you! But you didn’t believe me. You ignored my phone calls and texts. I spent the night awake and scared shitless that something happened to you. Marc finally confirmed last night that he spent almost our entire marriage sleeping around, and I come to your apartment this morning to find you with Nicole? What was I supposed to think? Is this what you’re going to do every time you get pissed at me? Get drunk and end up with a woman you used to fuck in your apartment? What would have happened if I wasn’t there this morning?”
Sam’s voice cracked as she stood up and turned away from me. Her shoulders were shaking with sobs that she was trying to hold in.
I got up, wrapped my arms around her waist, and kissed the back of her head. It was one thing to assume Marc was cheating on her, but another to know it for sure. Seeing Nicole at my apartment was a one-two punch to the gut.
“You didn’t deserve any of that,” I whispered in her ear. “From Marc, or from me. You’re beautiful and amazing, and I love yousomuch. I was so afraid of losing you that it made me nuts. I would have never touched Nicole or anyone else. The only woman for me is you. The only woman I’ve ever loved is you.” I moved her hair to the side and feathered kisses across the nape of her neck and behind her ear. Sam didn’t turn around, but she relaxed in my arms.
I stepped in front of her so we could face each other. I took her face in my hands and wiped her tears away with my thumbs.
“I need you to forgive me. Tell me you’re mine again. Please, Sam. Say you forgive me for being a crazy jealous bastard, and you’ll take me back.”
I saw a hint of a smile on her face.
“I never stopped being yours. I’ll always belong to you. No matter how stupid you are.” Sam rolled her eyes again and smirked at me.
I laughed and pulled her closer.
“I’ll take it. I thought about having to live without you, and I didn’t know how to breathe.”
Sam was still crying but nodded. I kept wiping away the tears and lifted her head up to look at me.
“I have never been more scared in all of my life as I was thinking I lost you. Please. I need you. I need to touch you and kiss you. I need to know you're real.”
I gave her a light kiss on her forehead, on her still-wet cheeks, and on her lips. She was stiff, but the tension left her body as the kiss deepened.
