Noticing where I’d focused my attention, Lucas joked, “You should go. It should be fun, and I’m even wearing a costume.” He cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Stop it! What is Mr. Hot-Shot Advisor going to dress up as?”
“You’ll have to go to find out. If you come in costume I’ll even give you candy. The sexier the costume, the more candy I’ll give you.”
“Right. Sexy costumes aren’t my thing. I’m sure you’ll have lots of girls lining up for your candy.” It was out of my mouth before I knew it, and Lucas cracked up.
“You make me sound cheap, Sam. I don’t give my candy out to just anyone.” I nudged his shoulder, making him laugh even harder. “I don’t know why you think like that. You’re beautiful and could rock the hell out of a sexy costume.”Um, what? Lucas thinks I’m beautiful?
I could do this; go to the party, flirt a little, and see where it takes us. Yeah, I could do this—
“Hey, Lucas. You said you’d help me put up the rest of these flyers for the party. You wouldn’t stand me up, would you?” One of the student aides I knew from my statistics class strutted into his office, interrupting us. She told me the other day how difficult it was to balance school and modeling. There was a picture of her in only a bra and jeans giving a hot guy a back rub in my Seventeen Magazine this month. Needless to say, my heart bled for the girl.
“I’m coming, Karen. Don’t worry.”
“Oh, hey, Samantha. I didn’t know you knew Lucas.” She gave me a look like, ‘how could you possibly know a guy like him?’
Lucas looked over at me and gave me a smile. “Sam and I go way back. She’s my cousin’s best friend.”
“Oh, that’s cute.” She looked over at Lucas, and—once again—it’s like I wasn’t there. Mousy Samantha, dismissed as usual. “So, are you done here? If you’re lucky, I’ll let you guess what my costume will be. I can’t get thrown out of the party for showing too much skin, can I?”
Oh for goodness’ sake, really?
“For once, it would be nice to have a party where I didn’t have to speak with security afterward. Be right back, Sam. Let me go pick up the rest of the flyers out of the printer.”
“So you and Lucas are friends?” Karen twirled her luxurious shampoo-commercial-worthy hair around her finger as she looked me over.
“Yes. Like he said, I’m a family friend.” I shrugged as I packed my books into my backpack.
“He’s a really nice guy—and an ah-mazing kisser.” She closed her eyes and pretended to shiver.
My heart dropped into my stomach as I tasted vomit in the back of my throat. She got to feel Lucas’s lips, and God only knew what else. Did I really think I had a chance against girls like her? I was such an idiot for even considering it.
“Okay, got ‘em. Sam. We can study for a little while longer. Hey, are you all right? You look a little pale.” Lucas rushed toward me with a concerned expression and put his hand on my shoulder.
“Nope, I’m fine! I’m just going to go. Thanks again for the help.” I bolted out of his office, not wanting to look back at Karen’s shit-eating grin.
I spent the night of the Halloween party with my favorite creepy movie, Carrie. There was something about watching an outcast slay all the mean girls who made her life hell that made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
I put the book down when I heard my phone chime with a text.
Lucas: I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.
I typed a dozen different replies likeI’m thinking about you too,I miss you,I’m sorry I haven’t called—but I didn’t send any of them. All those years ago, I dreamed about a real chance with Lucas. Now I had one, and it scared me to death.
Ten
Lucas
“Daina, you home?”
I arrived at my cousin’s house and rang the bell. She didn’t answer so I pulled open the unlocked screen door and went in.
“Oh hey, Lucas. Come on in. Let me put the baby to sleep, and we can talk.” It had been almost radio silence from Sam for two weeks. I was about to lose my mind and went to the only person who I prayed may be able to give me some kind of clue as to why.
From the outside of this fucked up situation, the answer to why Sam was avoiding me was obvious. I had sex—amazing and fantastic sex—with a married woman who now regretted it and wanted to stay away from me. But there was more to Sam and me than that, or at least I hoped there was.
I plopped onto Daina’s couch as she watched me with pity in her eyes. I’d taken the subway all the way to the Bronx after work on a Wednesday night. It was obvious I wasn’t handling my sudden separation from Sam well.
