“Sixty?” In the pamphlets Dr. Stephens had given me to study, I’d learned about the bad side effects from high doses of prednisone. Massive weight gain with a moon-like face, and a ton of other bad things that you couldn’t see. Lupus sure kept it interesting; the treatments were almost as bad as the disease itself.
“We’ll taper you down as you start to feel better. You most likely won’t be on such a high dose for very long, but I can’t wait any longer. And I’m sure you want to get out of here.” Dr. Stephens raised her eyebrows at me as I heard Jack’s voice in my head.
Fuck knows if I’m going to grow gills or a second head, but as long as I feel like this, bring it on!
Jack would have taken anything if it meant staying alive and being here with his family. He’d even let doctors experiment on him to get even a little more time.
“Okay. Can we start today?”
“That’s my girl.” Evan put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. He turned to Dr. Stephens. “How do I get tested to give Paige a kidney?” I raised my eyebrows and shook my head.
“Paige doesn’t need a kidney. Who told you that?” Dr. Stephens looked as baffled as I was.
“Doesn’t lupus sometimes cause kidney failure, and she would need a transplant? I’d like to know how I get tested.”
“Evan, stop. You’re not giving me a kidney.” I reached for his arm and he glared at me.
“Making another decision for me, are you?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“We aren’t there yet. Once Paige starts to feel better, her kidneys should be less of an issue. If not, we’ll weigh our options then. I’m going to have them bring you that oatmeal so you can take your first dose.” She walked over to my bed and put her hand on my shoulder. “I told you I’d get you out of this flare and I will. Have a little faith.” I smiled and nodded as she left the room.
“Evan—”
Evan put his hand up and shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it. If giving you one of my kidneys keeps you alive, then that’s what I’ll do if the time comes. I don’t work without you. I can’t live without you. Has thatnotsunk in yet?” I chuckled at how irritated he was. “What’s so funny?”
“Your kidneys wouldn’t be a good fit anyway.” I leaned back on the pillows and adjusted the nasal cannula that fed me oxygen.
Evan’s brow furrowed. “Why is that?” He climbed into the bed and put his arm around me.
“Your kidneys are probably too muscular, like the rest of you.” I shrugged. “They wouldn’t fit. I’m too little.”
Evan rested his chin on top of my head. “I managed to fit something else that’s kinda big inside your tiny little body. What’s the difference?” I laughed, then started a coughing fit.
Getting better would take a long time, and it wouldn’t be easy, but I had a lot to live for. I was ready to accept all the unknowns if it meant I could stay with the people I loved.
Forty-One
Paige
Prednisone was a miracle.A devil and an angel wrapped in a pill. After a couple of days at the high dose, my throat started to clear up and I could finally eat. The cough still lingered, but I needed less and less oxygen. I was transferred to a regular room after almost a week.
Evan finally went back to work. He’d been afraid to leave my side for days, but I convinced him to come here in the late afternoons after the office closed. My mom, Ellie, Natalie, and my aunt and uncle all visited as much as they could, so I was never alone. I was starting to feel better, and getting to the point of being bored out of my mind. I’d asked Evan to bring my laptop to the hospital so I could do a little work. He said it was great that I wanted it, but absolutely not. Between Evan and Mom, I was surprised they let me cut my own meat.
After two more weeks, I needed out. I’d had enough hospital and wanted to go home. Dr. Stephens wanted to check everything one last time before she discharged me. My lungs weren’t the greatest, but I could breathe without oxygen, and eating was an enjoyable activity again. The high dose of prednisone made me manic, but as I lay in bed, I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt like a car revving to take off, but stuck, so my wheels just spun out of control while I went nowhere.
Me: Would you mind making a stop on the way to the hospital?
Texting without stiff, painful fingers was wonderful.Thanks for that too, prednisone.
Evan: Your wish is my command, Daisy. What do you want?
This being babied thing, I had to admit, didn’t totally suck.
Me: Promise you won’t laugh?
Evan: Never.
Me: Chicken nuggets and French fries from McDonald’s.
