Yes, I was. And it was time that someone showed Evan they loved him back.
Sixteen
Evan
I gazedout the window at the Long Island Sound. My dad had a sweet view of the water, and a pretty nice private room. You wouldn’t know it the way he grumbled around with his walker as we settled him in. I could tell Paige being here with us made him hold back what he normally would be saying to me right now.
“Mr. Jacobs, I hung up the rest of your clothes in the closet. The shoes are on the bottom. Let me know if you want me to fix anything.” Dad settled into the chair next to his bed as he nodded at Paige.
“Thank you.” He was being polite, almost pleasant. I would take her with me for every visit if it made him so damn amiable, but it wouldn’t last. No one else should have to put up with him as much as I did. Paige sauntered over to me and rubbed my back.
“I’m so sorry I have to leave. I couldn’t move this client meeting and they insisted on meeting in person rather than just over the phone. If I can make it back from White Plains in time, I’ll come back…” I shook my head and kissed her temple.
“You did enough. And you need some rest. You can’t keep your eyes open past nine o’clock lately and you were sick again all last week. If you get back early from White Plains, you go straight home and I’ll meet you there later.” Paige was taking on too much work between her main job at the agency and freelance projects on the side. She needed to slow down before she collapsed, but I’d failed to convince her not to come with me today. I had to admit it was a battle I was glad to lose—having her with me had made a huge difference.
“Bye, Mr. Jacobs. It was nice meeting you. I’ll come back with Evan and see you again soon.” Paige made her way over to where Dad was sitting and squeezed the top of his hand. Dad nodded in response. She gave me a quick kiss and then rushed out the door.
“Reminds me of your mother.” Dad stared blankly out the window after Paige left. The stroke affected his entire right side, but he still spoke clearly. Unfortunately, his way of speaking was usually yelling. This is the first time in a while I could remember him talking to me without malice in his voice.
“Who does? Paige?”
Dad chuckled. The hint of a smile on his face as he gazed in my direction was also pretty foreign to me.
“Pretty and sweet, but I caught a dirty look from her when I snapped at you. Reminded me of when you were a kid and your mother would tell me to get off your back. You love her?”
I nodded. “I do.” I grabbed Dad’s suitcase from the floor and lifted it to put it at the bottom of the closet. He grabbed my arm.
“God knows you deserve a little love. Just don’t blow it.” Dad turned his attention back to the window. For once, I didn’t feel like a fuck up son who couldn’t do anything right. For the first time in years, I got a glimpse of the father I hoped still existed somewhere, even if only for a moment. That’s when the guilt came crashing down on me. Maybe I could have done better, had more patience. Sure, he was a nasty bastard at times, but he was the only father I had, and the only parent I had left. And I had just moved him into a nursing home.
“I think they come around with a snack truck in the late afternoons.” I reached in my back pocket to take out my wallet to give him a few bucks to get something.
I was surprised to find a piece of white folded paper next to the five-dollar-bill. I was religious about not stuffing my wallet with receipts and other junk, so I had no idea where this had come from. From the back it looked like a handwritten note. I unfolded it and recognized Paige’s handwriting.
I stuffed this note into your pristine wallet hoping you’d find it while you were still with your Dad. I know you’re thinking what an awful son you are. You were a boy without a mother who took care of his father without a second thought. You dropped everything to help a sick friend get back on his feet. You are the most wonderful man I’ve ever known. I’m the luckiest woman in the world for being able to call you mine. I love you.
Just thought you might need to be reminded of that today. Paige
I’d never felt sorry for myself for not having it easy. I learned to live on my own and take care of myself without needing anyone—until Paige. I didn’t remember when she’d gone from the girl of my dreams to the love of my life, but now she was as essential as the air in my lungs and the blood in my veins. She was it for me, forever. I had never been surer of anything in my entire life.
“I won’t blow it, Dad. That I can promise you. I’ll be back tomorrow to settle you in a little more. Get some rest.”
Dad nodded without looking back. Not exactly warm, but it was nice not to see a sneer across his mouth for a change. I tried to shake off the self-loathing and think of today as a good day, maybe even a step in the right direction.
I pulled out my phone when I got into the hallway.
Me: I love you, Daisy. So much.
Paige: Found my note Mr. OCD? You OK, babe?
Me: Yeah I’m great. I’ll see you tonight. And I mean it. No gym and straight home.
Paige: You’re sexy when you’re bossy. Yes, sir ;)
Me: I’ll see you in a couple of hours. And do me a favor.
Paige: Sure, what?
Me: Make sure you’re naked by the time I get there.
