I rolled my eyes and slumped against the wall. My mother was a lot of things, but subtle wasn’t one of them. I wondered who snuck her a text about her heartbroken firstborn.
“You only drink tea when you’re sick.”
“Because tea is soothing, baby girl.” A sly grin split her mouth. “Head over to the couch, and I’ll pour you a cup. Grab the sugar cookies on your way.” She jutted her chin toward the living room.
I exhaled a long breath, shaking my head as I strolled into the living room and plopped down on the couch. I dipped my nose in the collar of Anthony’s shirt one last time before I stood to peel it off and grabbed one of my sweatshirts from the coat rack in the hallway. I placed his shirt on one of the hooks, unsure what to do with it until I brought it back to the shop. Part of me toyed with keeping it, but Dad was right. I needed to let him go.
“You didn’t have to leave Astoria, Mom. I’m fine.”
Mom settled onto the corner of the couch, resting her elbow on the arm.
“If I had a dollar for every time you told me, ‘Mom, I’m fine,’ I could have bought this house with cash.” She stretched out her arm and raised an eyebrow. A smile snuck up on me as I inched toward her on the couch and rested my head on her shoulder.
“How much do you know?”
“That you were upset and would probably hide it when we came home, so I left Drew and the kids so I could make sure you were all right. Josh said you went through a bad breakup today, which is funny since I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.” She clicked her tongue against her teeth.
I exhaled a long breath and slumped against the back of the couch.
“Anthony is a mechanic who works at Falco’s. We’ve been friends for a while, but were only together for the past month. He was afraid of Dad finding out, so until we told Dad I didn’t want to say anything about us to either of you. We were supposed to tell everyone at Christmas. My plan was to take him to Blystone on Christmas Eve.”
“So, what happened?” Mom whispered.
“When he was a teenager, he was part of an armed robbery and went to jail for two years. This mor—today,” I stumbled in an attempt to correct myself. Mom wouldn’t gloss over spending the night at his apartment like Bri had. My mother’s lifted brow told me she picked up on it. “I couldn’t leave well enough alone about something, and he finally told me. Then he broke up with me for my own good because he didn’t want to taint my bright future. That’s pretty much it.”
“Except that you’re in love with him, right?”
I lifted my gaze to hers and replied with a wordless nod. Talking about it without crying over it was a bridge I had yet to cross.
“But it doesn’t matter. If he thinks that little of me, he doesn’t care about me. At least not like I thought.” I sniffled and reached for the cup of tea and took a sip. Even while on the brink of tears, I smiled at all the sugar Mom had piled into it.
“I don’t know Anthony, but I understand not wanting to taint someone you love with what you feel is baggage that will hold them back and leaving because you think it’s best.”
“Are you talking about Drew?” I squinted at her and rubbed my eyes. I’d cried so much today, any kind of light burned my corneas. “I don’t remember you splitting up.”
“Because you didn’t know.” She chuckled and tucked her leg under her. “I didn’t get why someone like him would want someone like me.” She grabbed my hand. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me, but Drew was almost a decade younger than me and brilliant with this ridiculously bright future ahead of him. I couldn’t understand why he’d be willing to be tied down to a woman and her daughter. I took something he said out of context and ended it,” she held up her fingers in air quotes, “for his own good.”
“He let you do that?” An unexpected laugh fell from my lips.
“He fought me, that’s for sure.” She chuckled. “But I wouldn’t budge. I loved Drew with all I had and cutting him off was like slicing myself in half. I didn’t grow up with unconditional love, so I had no idea how it worked. I never would have dreamed someone would be willing to change their life for me because I didn’t think I was worth it. It may not be that Anthony doesn’t think you can’t handle it. He may not understand why you’d want to.”
She cupped my chin. “It’s a hard thing to get, but in my mind, cutting him off before I could see his disappointment in me was easier. It was both a selfless and cowardly thing to do. This is what happens when you don’t think a lot of yourself, and you care about someone so much you can’t handle the thought of them ever resenting you.”
“How did you get back together?”
A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. “When my parents died, he just showed up and wouldn’t leave. Told me that he loved me and he wasn’t going anywhere.”
“Sounds like Drew.”
Her smile grew. “I didn’t fight him because I needed him so badly. I had what I guess they call an epiphany. I let him in because I wanted him, and I finally realized that it was okay to be happy and want things for myself. That comes to everyone in their own time. Anthony could realize it tomorrow, or ten years from now.”
“Dad said the same thing, and I should let him go.”
‘For now, I agree. Focus on you. And if staying away from him makes it easier, do that. I know it’s hard since he works at Falco’s but let yourself be hurt, and give yourself room to heal. You have a whole army of us to lean on, and it’s about time you let us take care of you for a change.”
I dropped my head into my mother’s lap and promised myself I’d only cry for another five minutes.
“Did Cousin Angie give you baklava?” Mom’s laughter shook against my ear.
