“It’s a lot of fun,” Mari told Victoria. “Maybe one day, we’ll all be together down there, again.”
“Yes!”TitiSofia clapped her hands. “Abuela would love to have all her grandchildren back for Christmas. Maybe next year if Mario—”
“No!” Mari cut her off, her nostrils flaring. “I don’t want to see him for Christmas or any other day. If he goes next year, I’ll stay home.”
“Mari,” my aunt’s eyes welled up. “He’s family.”
“He’snothing.”
Mari had never forgiven Mario for what happened. She said he was older and knew better. While she stood by me through it all, she’d made it clear more than once that she wanted nothing to do with him. I appreciated her unwavering support, but even though I’d been younger, I’d still been old enough to know right from wrong.
A drop of sweat snaked down my neck, and I racked my brain for a change in subject before this nice holiday dinner imploded.
“I’ll be fine on Christmas alone. I told Ma I’d try for next year.”
“You’renotspending Christmas alone.” Victoria dropped her fork with a loud clank.
“It’s just another day, sweetheart.”
She shook her head. “You’ll come with me to Blystone on Christmas Eve and to Dad and Bri’s house the next day. Not taking no for an answer.”
If I still had her on Christmas, I’d gladly go. I’d meant it when I said I’d follow her anywhere. But my biggest fear was once she learned about my past, she wouldn’t want me around.
She looped her arms around my neck. “You know I don’t lose, so don’t fight me.”
Despite my churning insides, I let a smile curve my lips before I kissed her cheek.
Thankfully, the mood shifted back, and Victoria was treated to story after story about every dopey thing I’d done as a kid. Her laugh was my favorite thing in the whole world, and I’d listen to it all night no matter if it was at my expense or not.
I helped Mari gather the dirty dishes off the table while my aunt showed Victoria old photo albums in the living room. A heavy silence fell over us before Mari came up to me at the sink. I kept scrubbing dishes without raising my head, figuring she was about to say what I didn’t want to hear.
“She doesn’t know, does she?”
I put down the pot in my hand and shook my head.
“No. And when she does, I’ll lose her.”
“Stop that,” Mari whispered. “You will not. That girl adores you as much as you love her. It’s impossible not to see. She may be mad that you didn’t trust her with it sooner, but she’s not going to leave just because of a mistake you made as a kid.”
I exhaled a long gust of air before peering at Mari with a sad smile.
“Imade a mistake, but Mario can never be in the same room with you again? It was thebothof us, Mari. Webothruined that man’s life. Mario isn’t that much older than me, he didn’t force me.”
“You were a good kid. He could never keep himself out of trouble and sucked you in. If only we knew how you andTitiLiz were struggling—”
“Ma exhausted herself to support us, and we had the basics. I was a selfish and stupid kid who tried for easy money. It was Mario’s idea, but he didn’t have to twist my arm all that much to come along.”
In a sick way, I was grateful we were caught. While the shame of hurting an innocent man would always follow me, if we’d gotten away with it, I may have been tempted to do it again. Without suffering the immediate consequences of what we’d done, I could’ve ended up like Mario. By taking the easy way out all the time, he’d learned to take instead of earn. I now understood how easy a trap that was to fall into.
“You lost two years of your life because of him.” She jabbed a finger into my shoulder. “I’ll never forgive him for that, and don’t change the subject.”
“I love her so fucking much, Mari.” I squeezed the back of my neck. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Yes, Ant. You do.” She draped her arm around my shoulders. “Love her enough to give her a chance to love you back.”
18
Victoria
