Some of my old buddies still checked in from time to time, but other than a couple of dinners when I first came home, I steered clear of most of them other than a few weekly texts. The memories were still too raw to go back to the old neighborhood, and while they were good guys for the most part, things like the occasional joint were off the table for me—even after my probation.
I fucked up royally once, and had zero intention of doing it again, even if it meant spending the little free time I had alone.
The other mechanics in the shop were nice enough, and we’d joke around as we worked, but it was superficial and hollow. I knew Victoria’s schedule at the shop better than Josh did. Even when I didn’t have pages to show her, which was almost never, I’d seek her out because I liked talking to her. I likedher.
It was one thing to notice Victoria’s pretty face or amazing body, but to have this kind of connection with her was leading us both down a doomed path.
“Drop the humble act.” She crossed her arms and leaned her elbows onto the table. “You’re an amazing artist, and you know it. I’m just giving you suggestions, but you’re making it into the masterpiece that it is.”
A laugh slipped out of me when our eyes met.
“Masterpiece? Laying it on kind of thick, aren’t you? I agree it’s come a long way, but it’s missing something.”
“Well,” she peeked at her watch, “we have twenty more minutes. Let’s brainstorm. What do you think is missing—” she trailed off, gazing over my shoulder with her lips pursed.
“What’s wrong?” I looked over my shoulder at a couple of guys settling onto seats by the counter.
“I went to elementary school with them. The guy with the Mets cap used to call me puke eyes.” She dropped her head as she flicked a French fry back and forth on her plate.
“Puke eyes? Why?”
Victoria’s eyes were beautiful, and I wanted to march over there and clock him one for ever saying they looked like puke.
If not for the whole violating parole thing I had to keep in mind.
“When I was in the second grade, around Christmas time, I got sick. But I didn’t tell anyone. My mom was working a lot and distracted with getting to all her jobs on time. I didn’t want to say anything because she’d panic at finding someone to watch me during the day. Plus, they were having the very first school Santa breakfast, and I wanted to ask him for this really awesome Wonder Woman doll I kept seeing on TV.”
“Of course, you did.” I coaxed a tiny smile out of her.
“Well, I never made it. That morning of the breakfast, and I still remember this so vividly, my face felt like it was on fire, and I threw up in my classroom doorway.”
I returned the wince she gave me.
“So, thanks to Ryan over there, I was puke eyes until eighth grade graduation. He said that’s why my eyes were green because I was full of puke.”
I’d never forgotten how her eyes stopped me in my tracks on my first day at the shop. She’d joke how they were hulk eyes, but they were more like the color of kryptonite to me, and just as captivating and lethal.
“So, he was an asshole.”
She shrugged. “I guess kids are just mean. At least most of the ones I knew back then. The girls got in on it, too. Sometimes even more.”
My fist clenched at her defeated expression.
“I kept to myself for the most part, wrote stories in notebooks instead of playing at recess. It wasn’t until Dad and my stepmom came along that I really had the chance to be a kid, and by that time, thelittlekid stuff was already off the table. I was too old for things like going to see Santa like my little brother and sister are doing today.”
The sad smile pulling at her lips burned my insides. I wanted to find that doll, take her to see Santa, and give her whatever she needed to get that glossy sheen out of her eyes. I didn’t know too many people who were inherently good without malice. She deserved the best of everything and never should have had to settle.
Like she’d be doing with me.
“It’s stupid.” She exhaled with a groan. “I shouldn’t be this haunted by things people said so many years ago. My stepdad wanted me to take off today and go see Santa with all of them and…I just couldn’t. I’m just a little raw today. Seeing that idiot is getting under my skin more than it should. So dumb.” She rubbed her temples and shook her head.
“It’s not dumb. The mighty Victoria is allowed to feel sad about what she missed out on and want to pummel the jerk who tortured her in elementary school. You’re still human, Falco.”
“The mighty Victoria?” An adorable snicker escaped her. “I never told that story to anyone. My family always worries about me, and I try not to tell them anything else to make it worse. Even now, I put on a big smile and pretend, but this Christmas, for some reason, it’s harder to keep up the act.” Her shoulders slumped as she breathed out a long sigh. “I’m sorry for unloading on you like that.”
“Hey,” I tapped her wrist. “You can tell me anything. No apologies needed.”
When she looked up, her gorgeous eyes held mine for a long minute. I spied the same longing I’d been fighting all this time, but I couldn’t give in.
