“Well, with the hotel opening, there may be a bigger crowd next year, hopefully.” I crinkled my nose at Ava, and my heart melted when she reached out to touch my cheek.
It had taken a while until the sight of a baby no longer gutted me, but I came around. Holding babies wasn’t something I’d normally offer to do, but when Caterina handed her to me so she could gather their belongings, I didn’t have the time to refuse or explain. Playing with Ava for the afternoon had been an unexpected joy. But it still reminded me of a time I wanted to forget, even though I knew I’d never be able to.
She scooped Ava out of my arms and buckled her in her stroller.
“Now you have plenty of time to get ready for your hot date tonight.”
She glanced up with her eyebrows raised.
“I don’t know if I’d call it a hot date. Dominic is coming by with some food, that’s all.”
“Shrugging it off doesn’t work if you smile that big.” She laughed, shaking her head as she stuffed everything under the carriage seat.
“Is it possible to be so happy you want to burst out of your skin and terrified at the same time?” I sighed, scooping the hair off my sweaty neck and twisting it into a bun on the top of my head.
Caterina looked me over with a sad smile before she unlocked the wheel in the back of the stroller. Ava’s eyes were already growing heavy from digging in the sand all afternoon.
“Both of you light up whenever you’re together.” She dropped her hand on my arm while she wheeled Ava up the ramp leading us away from the beach. “I know you guys have a complicated past, but in the present, anyone can see the love is still all there.”
“It’s there,” I allowed as I trudged along next to the stroller. “It’salwaysbeen there.”
But it wasn’t enough then, and as much as I wanted to believe it was now, I couldn’t shake the fear that it wasn’t.
“I’m trying to understand the sudden long face of someone who went to breakfast in her dress from last night.” She quirked a brow as we began the walk back to my house. I usually drove the short distance back and forth to the hotel but Caterina felt like walking, and I welcomed the opportunity to burn off all my nervous energy.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I told Dominic I didn’t want to do the walk of shame in front of you guys, but he said you do it all the time out of Joe’s office.”
“Of course, he did. And for your information, we don’t do itallthe time.” She rolled her eyes as we made our way down the street. “As much as he loves to give us a hard time, he’s done so much for us.”
“Like what?”
“He was always pushing Joe out the door, covering for him so we could spend time together when we first met. When I thanked him at our wedding, he said seeing us happy was thanks enough.” She pulled Ava up my driveway and parked the stroller next to her car. “Because when you meet the one, you shouldn’t blow it.”
My nose burned for a moment, but I managed to bite the inside of my cheek hard enough to will away any threatening tears.
I nodded, taking the bags from the stroller and loading them into the trunk as Caterina settled her sleeping daughter in her car seat.
“And when I met you, and saw you both together, I realized why he’d said that. It kills him that he lost you back then.”
It killed me, too.
“He told me he loved me last night, and I couldn’t say it back. Not because I don’t. I love him so damn much. But,” I rested my elbow on top of Caterina’s car and rubbed my eyes, “he scares me.”
“He scares you because you love him too much?”
I shut my eyes and nodded. “You have no idea.”
“Can I offer you my two cents?” she asked after shutting the car door.
“After I’ve unloaded more to you about what’s going on with Dominic and me than to my family or any of my friends, please do.”
She chuckled and squeezed my shoulder. “It’s not quite the same thing, as Joe and I don’t have the same troubled history. When we tried to do long distance, and it became too hard, I ran because I didn’t want to get hurt. I always felt too much for him, and I was scared, too. But my life without Joe,” she glanced at her baby in the back seat, “wasn’t a life.”
I nodded, sucking in a deep breath and easing it out slowly. For the past four years, there was always a Dominic-shaped piece missing from my soul.
“Try to give it a shot, just for tonight.”
She pulled me into a hug before climbing into her car and driving away.
