“It’s fine.” I waved my hand at him. “Not a big deal.”
The sin of that explanation was that it reallywasn’ta big deal to me: the engagement or the breakup.
“So, how have you been? My parents see Steve sometimes and said he’s doing well. How’s your dad?”
“Steve is fine. He usually comes out here for a weekend or two during the summer. Dad is good. He likes to come in the off season and read the racing form at the bar for the day. His idea of quality time.”
I returned his smile before I could help it.
“The Beach Pub is doing well, you seem to be…” I trailed off, a wave of hurt and anger making me sit straighter in my chair. “I’m glad you got what you needed when you came out here.”
“Well, it wasn’t immediate.” His mouth turned down. “You can ask Joe. When I got here, there were days we didn’t speak at all. I’d just go to the restaurant and paint or plaster or scrub something and then head back to the apartment I’d rented to pass out. I was in a bad place for a long time, and I didn’t want to take anyone with me.”
“I get it. Look, maybe we should find a change in sub—”
“Losing you is the biggest regret of my life.” His whiskey-colored eyes were glassy and wide as he leaned in closer. “I need you to know that.”
The air drained from my lungs as I squirmed in my seat. How many times had I dreamed of him saying that? There had been a time when I’d prayed for the words that just fell from his lips, but instead of leaping out of my seat and into his arms, all I did was nod while I bit the inside of my cheek to will back the tears clouding my eyes.
It was too late, and I needed to make myself whole on my own, not wait for him or depend on someone else to press the broken shards of my heart back into place.
“When I finally came to and realized how much I screwed up, I tried to call you, but I knew it was too late. And that’s something I’ll always have to live with.”
With everything in me, I’d wanted to answer his calls back then, but I couldn’t. He may have come to, but I’d still been broken in every way.
“I was sick and in the hospital around that time. After I came home,” I exhaled a long breath, “I didn’t have it in me to talk to you or anyone.”
A sad smile curved his lips. “I understand. Trust me, I never blamed you for not answering me.” His eyes thinned to slits as if he just registered exactly what I’d said. “You were in the hospital? For what? I never knew that.”
“I had surgery. Appendicitis. They caught it in time, but it was a long recovery.” I forced down the last bite of half the wrap and rolled up the rest in the paper, now having lost my appetite at the story I’d told so many times I didn’t even have to think about it. It was the one instance in my life practice had enabled me to lie.
Bad enough his regret was making me stumble. His concern had me itching to run for the door.
“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were sick. I’m sorry for all of it, Thea. Even if you can never forgive me, I hope you believe that.” He reached across the table and draped his hand over mine. The sincerity in his eyes was laced with pleading, the feel of his skin on mine triggering goosebumps down my arm. It was too much, already.
He still lured me in, and I hated it.
I cleared my throat. “I think we’ll be fine for the next few weeks,” not able to offer any other reply than a dodge. “It’ll go by fast once we get busy with renovations.”
“Well, I can help with that. You know I worked in construction before I left, and I did a shit ton of work building up the restaurant. One of us needs to always be at the pub during the busy season, but I can be the point person if you need one.”
“You would be able to get away enough to do that?” I ran my finger up and down the side of my glass, making tiny lines with the tip of my nail as I considered what Dominic was suggesting.
“Once the contracts are approved, I can help you and your boss plan it out and be there to help,” he continued. “Wouldn’t it be better to have one of us there the days you need decisions made about set up? Just a thought.”
Violet had suggested just that last night before we’d left work. Instead of getting used to seeing Dominic once in a while, I’d have to acclimate to dealing with him almost every damn day. I both looked forward to and dreaded the idea.
“I certainly appreciate the offer.” I cleared my throat, searching for a professional tone. “Once you guys officially sign, we can go over the particulars.”
“Are you sure you can handle a whole summer at the beach?” he asked, his lips spreading into a grin.
I was still getting used to his beard, and the more I stared, the sexier it was. As if he could read my thoughts, he ran his hand along the bristles on his chin, studying me with an amused gleam in his dark eyes.
“What do you mean?” I pressed when his lingering stare made me shift in my seat.
He jutted his chin to my arm. “You’ve already got a ton of freckles, so I bet you’ll be covered with them by the time you leave.”
His mouth, the mouth I now couldn’t peel my eyes away from, curved into a smile.
