“If you want. Let me grab a couple of towels; those chairs have seen better days.” I trudged over to my hall closet. The lousy feeling in my gut always took a while for me to shake, but I pushed through it for her sake.
After I draped towels on both chairs and fell into a seat, Caterina planted herself on my lap, gasping at a loud creak.
“I didn’t break the chair, did I?” She grimaced and drew an unexpected chuckle out of me.
“No, baby. It’s old but sturdy. Your cute little ass didn’t break it, I promise.” I wrapped my arms around her and drew her closer, burying my neck into her neck. “I’m sorry, Caterina,” I whispered before pressing a kiss behind her ear.
“No need to be sorry.” Her hand drifted down my cheek. “I’msorry you’re upset.”
“I need to grow the fuck up finally.” I shut my eyes and leaned back on the chair. “I fought hard to live the life I wanted, and I need to own it and not worry about who I disappoint.”
“But you don’t disappoint. Your parents love you, that’s easy to see. What happened when I left the table?”
“Someone—most likely, my sister—let it slip to my parents about Owen’s loan. My dad asked how he could become an investor, too, and that set me off. Thing is, I know he was only asking to help, not make me feel like I was failing, but I wanted to do this myself. Be a successwithouthis help.”
“Well, what would be so bad about him helping you?” She turned to face me. “Would he hold it over your head?”
“No, but I guess if I asked him, he’d maybe think he had a say in how I do things and point out what I was doing wrong without meaning to if that makes sense. Like, in my head, I know he wouldn’t do it on purpose, but it would feel that way and make me crazy. I sound like a petulant little punk. Are you sure you want to stay with me now?”
She jabbed my shoulder. “Stop it. You don’t, because I get it. I’m close with my mother, and we have a great relationship, for the most part. She still kinda hovers, for lack of a better word.”
I laughed at her eyeroll. “When I first moved into my apartment, I asked her for a loan that I swore to her I’d pay back in a couple of months.”
“But, at least you had the guts to ask.” Sifting a lock of her hair between my fingers, memories of my father and me raced through my head as I tried to pinpoint when things had shifted between us. As hard as I always tried, I could never figure out the exact day he’d gone from my hero to an unattainable ideal I never felt I’d measure up to. “Did she give it to you?”
“Yes, but she pointed out how important it was to save if I wanted to live on my own, and I should give her part of my paycheck every month. She offered to start a savings account for me and hold it.”
I nodded. “Always good to have savings—but not what you needed to hear, right?”
“Exactly.” She pushed her finger into my chest. “I took it as making sure I saved money so I wouldn’t screw up and run out—again. I’m sure she meant well, mostly, but it made me feel small—like a kid who didn’t know what she was doing. I paid her back within a month and haven’t asked her for another dime since.”
I kissed her cheek and anchored my forehead to hers. “We’re two stubborn idiots, aren’t we?”
“Maybe. It’s hard to take guidance or what’s meant as friendly advice from your parents when you feel like you already have something to prove. Especially when you put unnecessary pressure on yourself to be perfect. I’m definitely guilty of that, as you may have noticed.” She shifted in my lap before cuddling into me. “Starting a new business isn’t going to be a huge success right away. I think your head knows that.” She tapped on my temple. “But you keep expecting it to be anyway.”
Why was it that every time I saw my parents, I went home feeling like both a fuck up and a jerk? Something had to give because my father didn’t deserve the way I froze him out every time. I knew that, yet I kept doing it.
She pushed off my chest and took my face in her hands. It was hard to see with only the soft light from my kitchen filtering out to my dark patio, but I was still trapped by Caterina’s dark eyes and long lashes. Her lipstick had faded since dinner, but it was impossible to miss that mouth: full and lush and so damn soft. I needed to get lost inside her tonight. I wanted her to make me forget all the ways I’d made life impossible for myself and how lonely I’d be without her once Wednesday came. Here, with this beautiful woman draped over me, all the obstacles and silly issues in my life dissipated into the ether. She was all I needed.
“You’re amazing, Joe. Don’t let your fear of falling short make you ignore all you’ve accomplished. Promise me that.”
My heart swelled then sank because that sounded a lot like part of a goodbye. I wouldn’t entertain any of that tonight. Tonight, we were together, and she was mine. It didn’t matter if the timing didn’t make sense.Wemade sense.
“You’re pretty amazing yourself.” I nipped at her earlobe, smiling at the giggle vibrating against my lips.
“I wish there was something I could do.”
“You’re doing it now. You’re here. But there is one thing that could make me forget for a little while.” I grabbed her hips and brought her closer. “Kiss me,” I hissed before she brushed my lips, teasing me as she grazed her bottom lip along mine. A growl erupted from my throat before our lips fused together. I licked inside her mouth and swallowed her sweet whimpers when my tongue stroked hers. As she squirmed on top of me, the chair under us continued to creak as our kiss caught fire. I caressed the sweet curve of her ass and brought my hand lower until I fisted the material at the hem of her dress.
“Still need me to ride you?” she giggled against my lips.
“Definitely later, but for right now…” I slid my hand back up her thigh, taking the bottom of her dress along with it. “Right now, I need you to come all over my fingers.” I hissed when I found the lace of her panties. “You can’t scream that loud, but no one will see you but me.” I pushed her panties to the side and ran a finger up and down her slit. She was silky and soaked.
“There’s my girl. So wet.” I made circles around her swollen clit, slow at first but picking up the pace the harder and wetter she became. “That’s it, beautiful. Drip all over me. Tell me how good I make you feel.” A guttural moan fell from her lips, her legs shaking as they always did when she was close. She clutched my bicep, digging her nails into my arm as her body went rigid on top of me.
“Tell me, baby.” Need strangled my words as my fingers twisted deep inside her. I ran my thumb over her clit and smiled when she jerked in my arms. “Tell me how good it feels when I make you come.”
“So good,” she panted, lifting her hooded eyes to mine. “I’ve never felt like this. I don’t want to leave.” Her voice was barely audible as if she didn’t want me to hear.
