Maybe she could ignore it in the morning, but I couldn’t.
10
Caterina
“Good morning.”A whisper in my ear jolted me awake.
Perhapsjoltedwas the wrong word, as my limbs felt twenty pounds heavier when I attempted to roll over. I sank my head into the pillow, noting how soft and smooth the fabric was against my cheek. These weren’t the scratchy hotel sheets I’d slept in the night before. My eyes flew open as I sat up, panic filtering through me as I realized I had no clue where I was.
“Hey, relax.” Joe squeezed my shoulder. I winced before turning toward his voice, blinking a few times before he came into focus. How did he look that damn good first thing in the morning? I cringed, pretty sure I looked as awful as I felt.
“You’re in my apartment. You had a little too much alcohol, and I brought you back here to give you some water, but you wanted to lay down, and we both fell asleep. That was it, I promise.”
I nodded and raked a hand through my tangled hair.
“Even though this is only our third day of knowing each other, you don’t have to explain. I know you wouldn’t do anything while I was like that. I haven’t exactly showed you my best self since we met, have I?”
“That’s not true. But, if you don’t mind me asking, did something happen yesterday? You don’t strike me as someone who drinks that much very often.”
I cocked my head from side to side, then cringed from moving too fast.
“The sangrias were partly because I was thirsty, partly because I was a little upset. I had an argument with my ex, and it’s been playing in my head for most of the yesterday.”
“You walked in on him cheating. Why isn’t he begging for your forgiveness instead of picking a fight with you?”
“That’s a great question.” I rubbed at my eyes, my dried contacts almost gluing them shut. “I neglected him because I was so sucked into work. It’s all my fault he had to look elsewhere.”
“If, for argument’s sake, he felt neglected or whatever, he should have told you instead of bringing someone else home. Don’t give that jerkoff, or the bullshit he told you, a second thought.”
I burst out laughing at Joe’s clenched jaw. “I should have said something, too. We’d been nothing but distant roommates to each other lately, but I’d written it off as a rut.” I pushed off the bed, stumbling back from the headrush. “I guess I ignored a lot because I didn’t want to deal with the inconvenience of parting ways. Now, of course, it’s a mess. But I can move on. Maybe he is right; I am cold.”
I forced my gaze back to Joe’s. I was ashamed, embarrassed, and so sick of showing nothing but the most unglued parts of me to this man from the second I met him. “I should feel a little sad about ending things, shouldn’t I? I’m hurt about the way he did it, and I’m mad, and, like you said, guilty. But saying goodbye to my boyfriend of two years, who Ilivedwith?” I shrugged and lifted my hands up. “As my baby cousin says, I got nothin’.”
“Getting cheated on, in your own apartment, wasnotyour fault. From what you’ve told me about this guy, he’s the cold one, not you.” Joe edged closer to where I sat on his bed. “And I happen to have firsthand experience that you’re the complete opposite of cold.” A hot shiver swarmed over my skin as he searched my gaze.
“Thank you, Joe.” I picked up his hand and squeezed.“You’re a pretty great guy.”
“Thank you.” I pulled my hand back, but he wouldn’t let go. “I think you’re pretty great, too. Even though I feel another brush-off coming on.”
I grimaced and shook my head. “It’s not that I’m brushing you off, it’s just, well, right now…” I stilled when he tightened his grip on my hand. His thumb glided over my wrist, leaving tingles along its path.
“Maybe the timing is bad, and the logistics are a little messed up, but I’m not the only one feeling this, am I?”
“No…you’re not,” I stammered. “But—” a lump in the back of my throat caught me by surprise. “I’m not in a good place right now. I’d say I’d made that abundantly clear.” I grabbed Joe’s other hand, dreading lifting my head to look him in the eye. “You’re sexy and kind and I’m sure there are a ton of women waiting who are more deserving of your time.”
“Youdeserve my time, Caterina.” His mouth flattened to a hard line. “I’d love to give you more of it, but I get it. Just promise me you’ll forget this asshole and what he said.”
“That’s why I’m here.” I grinned and kissed his cheek, enjoying the feel of his stubble against my lips a little too much, remembering the delicious scratch it left on the inside of my thighs. No, he was definitely not the only one feeling this. How amazing would it be to have a real chance with Joe? The only thing we could have was a fling with an expiration date, and that was unfair to both of us.
“I’ll walk you back to the Anchor.” He patted my thigh and stood.
“You don’t have to do that, Joe. It’s daylight, and it’s close.”
“I don’t have to, but maybe I want to.” He quirked an eyebrow and made his way out of the bedroom, leaving me with a headache and sour gut. I knew I’d done the right thing, but why did it feel so awful?
11
Joe
