He reached into a plastic bag and pulled out two cans of seltzer.
“This is my surprise?” I grabbed the can, letting my chin droop a half inch so I could breathe in his scent.
“Pretend it’s champagne, and we’re having a picnic under the stars.” He popped open his can and gripped my waist to pull me back. “It’s funny how only an hour outside of the city the stars are so much brighter. All that smog and city lights in the way. One of the things I remember from scouts.”
“You’ll be back in the smog in no time.” I rested my head on his shoulder and nudged his arm, my heart heavy as I attempted light conversation. My eyes shut, and I imagined a different life. Jack offered me so much, but I had no clue how to accept it. I enjoyed the here and now with him, but couldn’t envision our future.
“Would you judge me if I told you I was a little scared to leave?”
My head popped up. “Scared? Of what? Not getting back into the fire department?”
“Scared of who I am if I don’t. Here, I’m a success if I do all my squats.” A sad laugh flew out of his mouth. “Out there, it’s a little different.”
“You’re a success as a human being, Jack—no matter what job you have. Don’t make that all you wish for.”
He nuzzled my neck and kissed behind my ear, and my body jerked in response. “It’s not all I wish for.”
“Oh yeah?” I said, breathless and almost silent. “What else do you wish for?”
Jack cupped my cheek, turning my face toward his before brushing my lips, lightly at first then gliding his tongue along the seam until they parted. I didn’t even pretend to fight him anymore. I clutched the back of his neck when his tongue slid against mine. Time was running out, and no matter how I gorged on Jack, I’d never get my fill.
“I love how you taste,” he murmured as his mouth still covered mine. “I’ll never get enough.”
I fell into his kiss again, my hands gliding over his torso, arms, and whatever else they could reach.
I wish for you, too, Jack.
We pulled apart, breathless and flushed, Jack’s smile wide as I fought against a sob. Being with him was so wonderful, why did I have to stop?
“You don’t have to stop,” Jack whispered as his lips found my forehead. I cringed, realizing I said that out loud. The need was so strong, it wouldn’t stay inside.
“I want this, Dani.” Jack framed my face, giving me such a sweet smile, two tears escaped before I could stop them. “Bench picnics, dinners, movies, we could even go hiking again, for old time’s sake.” He swiped the tears with his thumbs and dropped kisses onto the wet trails.
“You really want to go on that stupid trail? I think it’s a golf course now.”
He barked out a laugh and pulled me into his chest. “I don’t care where I am, but I want to be with you. Call me crazy, but I think you want to be with me. Whatever is holding you back, I wish you’d tell me.”
“Jack, I can’t. I want to but—” Tears halted my speech and the only response I could force out was a pathetic hiccup.
“It’s okay.” He pecked my lips. “Don’t worry about that, now. Let’s just look at the stars. I may know some constellations still.”
He winked, and I forced the widest smile I could muster. Jack was the best gift I’d ever received, and it devastated me knowing I’d have to give him back soon.
“Just for tonight, let’s not worry about … after. Be with me, Danielle. Here.” He picked up my hand and laced our fingers together. My head fell back on his chest before I nodded.
I never knew your heart could be full and broken at the same time.
30
PJ
Dylanand I sat across from my parents on the tiny loveseat in the corner of our living room. They glared at us from the couch, my father’s eyes darting between Dylan and me as if he still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. My mother did the same with her lips flattened into a concerned line. We were dressed now, but I still felt as if we were half naked. How long had they been home? What had they heard? Dylan’s car was in his own driveway across the street and wouldn’t have tipped them off right away. They had to have come home while we were asleep. What if they’d come home even earlier andreallycaught us? I gave thanks for small favors.
But, none of that mattered. Everything had burst out into the open in the worst possible way. No, they hadn’t caught us in the actual act, but they may as well have. There was no use attempting to explain away what they had seen, but now we had to figure out how to explain everything else.
“When?” My father was the first to speak. He spit the question out as if it left a bad taste in his mouth.
“My birthday.” I straightened on the seat and felt for Dylan’s hand on the cushion. His fingers entwined with mine before he squeezed it tight.
