“You said you loved me since I was sixteen, right?”
I lifted my head and squinted at her. “Around then, yes.”
“I don’t think I ever told you when I first started lovingyou. Everyone assumes forever, and it pretty much is.” A bashful smile pulled at her lips. “One day, I’d just turned nine, I was playing in the backyard and fell. I was trying to climb the tree, missed a branch, and slid down. My knee was scraped and bleeding, but Jack and my parents were inside. They told me over and over again not to climb that tree, and if they caught me again, I’d be in big trouble. I didn’t listen very well.” She picked up my hand and intertwined our fingers. “I still don’t. Anyway, I panicked big time. When you saw me crying, you took my hand and snuck me into the upstairs bathroom. You put four Band-Aids on my knee, even though I probably only needed two, and told me you’d take care of me and wouldn’t tell.” She leaned forward on the table. “You don’t remember any of this, do you?”
I shook my head. PJ had been a rambunctious kid, talking at a mile a minute with a ton of energy. Jack would always say her recklessness would be her downfall, but I’d never thought she was reckless. She was passionate and full of life, and it was still one of the things I’d loved the most about her.
“You weresosweet and kind. As you bandaged me up, I noticed your eyes. They weren’t brown or green, sort of an odd in between. Beautiful. I spent the rest of the afternoon mixing my water paints to nail down the color. If you look at the paintings my parents display around the house, there is a hazel kind of color I always use. That’s you.”
She rose from the seat, and my chest cracked open. I’d been waiting for her my entire life and never realized it.
“I don’t need four years of frat parties, spring break, or any of that. Loving you is a part of who I am, and I’ll never stop or want anything else.” She settled next to me before grabbing my face and pressing her lips to mine with a light, but lingering kiss. “Weneverhave to have this conversation again, got it?”
I let a smile lift my cheeks before I covered her mouth with mine. “Got it,” I murmured against her lips.
“I think I want … a burger. With bacon. What about you?”
I think I want to fucking marry you.
“Same. We’ll need our energy back.” I craned my head to whisper in her ear. “If I have to look at you in these painted-on clothes for the entire six train ride home, I’m tearing them off you the second we get back to my house.”
A pretty blush crept up her cheeks before she fell into my chest.
“I love you,” I whispered into her hair and kissed the top of her head. It didn’t matter what anyone said—old friends, her brother, or even her parents.
Forever didn’t have to include anyone but us.
26
Jack
“So,I guess you’re almost out of here.”
I nodded at Jake as I practiced stepping up and back on one of the planks in the therapy room.
“In a few days, I think.” Sweat dripped down my forehead and stung my eyes. I more or less lived in the therapy room. Although, I really wasn’t supposed to be there outside of a session. It was late, and most of the therapists had gone home, so no one cared if anyone stayed in the room until closing. Jake was even more of a fixture here than I was, but I’d noticed pain had been holding him back during the past few group sessions.
“Lucky. The team manager wants me here for three more weeks. They expect me to run back on the field upon discharge, like nothing fucking happened.” He settled on one of medicine balls, gulping a bottle of water that was dwarfed by his huge hand. “Trust me, I’d love that, but I’m a realist. Maybe they’ll let me be an announcer or some shit when they realize my football career is over.” He let out a sad laugh as he rolled back and forth.
“Hey, you don’t know that. It’s not over until it’s over.” In a way, I envied him. He had a lot more to lose but had the foresight to envision another plan, no matter how half-hearted. Beyond helping Dylan out at his construction company, I hadn’t come up with any other options if I couldn’t go back to the fire department. I guessed I’d figure it out, but whenever it would cross my mind, I’d push myself to the point of almost passing out. Danielle wasn’t here today to throw me out, so I had free reign after my session with a fill-in therapist.
“Do you think it’s worse in the end to have hope or to just give up?” His normally booming voice was small as he stared into the distance.
I shrugged as I twisted off the cap on my own bottle of water. Wasn’t that the million-dollar question?
“Depends. I could feel like shit now or later, or be pleasantly surprised. I guess it doesn’t matter in the end. At least, it feels like I’m doing something about it now, even if it doesn’t work.”
“Nah, I think it’ll work. You’ll be back on the truck before you know it.”
“And you may be back on the field before you know it.” I tapped his arm before reaching for my towel. He was an okay guy, even if he hit on my sister. My best friend was doing a lot more than that with PJ—a notion I didn’t like to entertain for too long.
The past couple of months had been an intensive lesson in general tolerance.
“Where’s your girl?” His lips tipped up into a smirk.
“My girl?” My eyes narrowed, hoping he wasn’t referring to my sister.
He jerked his head to one of the therapy tables. “Danielle. I wish my therapist liked me that much. I think Leanne kinda despises me, although can’t say I blame her. I’m an annoying prick. When I’m out of here, I’ll send her a case of wine with my apologies.”
