“Later this afternoon.”
“Come with me?” His eyes locked with mine, and the pained expression on his face killed me. I wanted to see him cocky and playful as before, not so unsure and beaten. My inclination was to drop everything and sit with him until he felt better.
But I couldn’t do that.
I was supposed to help heal and give comfort, but at that moment, my want to soothe Jack had nothing to do with my job as his therapist. I’d been blurring that line entirely too much. This was a wall that needed to go up, for both our sakes. The random meetings in the cafeteria were one thing. Making time for him outside the therapy room deliberately sent off a slew of mixed signals to both of us.
“I have updates and notes to catch up on. Next time, maybe.” My hand fell on his forearm. “This isn’t a setback; it’s part of the process. You won’t dwell on this, right?”
A sad smile ghosted across his lips. “If you say so, boss.”
I tapped his arm and walked back to my office, my heart and mind heavy.
I could be Jack’s friendly therapist, but not his friend.
It was too tempting to want more after that.
13
Jack
“One more time, Jack,”Danielle instructed from behind me. “Practice is the only way to make this easier.”
I nodded, white-knuckling the side rails. My leg was still attached to me, but even after all this work and therapy, it didn’t feel like my own. At least, not the way it used to be. I never thought I’d see the day I’d have to put in actual effort to walk. I had good mobility on the crutches, but now was when the real work began. The pain didn’t bother me as much I’d imagined it would. It was the weakness and the immobility I didn’t know what the hell to do with. I’d lost track how many times I walked back and forth, and waiting to feel stronger or at least more connected with my leg. All I’d felt was exhausted and sore. I was basically Bambi.
My sister loved classic Disney movies when she was little and watched them on a continual loop. From the day she learned to crawl, she dragged me into her bedroom and forced me to watch them with her. None of us knew how to tell her no, so I sat and watchedLady and the TrampandBambiover and over again. Both of us cracked up at Bambi as a fawn, slipping and sliding on the ice. The poor thing had no clue how to use his legs, and I found his flailing back and forth across the screen fucking hysterical—at the time. I felt every pin and laceration in my leg, and what should have been a natural gait was so forced, I would have fallen over three times if not for the bars.Bambiwas only a cartoon, but I felt a sting of shame for laughing at something in the same lousy predicament as me.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say I had sea legs. Or a sealeg.” I tried to laugh, panting as I lifted my gaze to meet Danielle’s.
She dropped a hand on my forearm. “It will get easier, Jack. I promise you. And you may not think so, but you’re doing great. Just keep going.”
A calmness washed over me. I wasn’t sure when it happened over the past month, but she’d become a hell of lot more than just my therapist. She understood me in a way no one else did. Not my parents, not my friends, not anyone. She knew the struggle and how hard it was, but instead of pitying me in my weakest moments, it was then she pushed the hardest.
“You got it, boss.” My leg trembled as our gazes locked, but that wasn’t only due to my injury. The waters of our patient and therapist relationship muddied during our almost-nightly meetings in the cafeteria. There, she was simply a beautiful woman with a sweet smile and a past she wouldn’t share with me. Still, every night she let me in a little more. Every laugh I drew out of her made me feel like a king, and she lingered a little longer each time we stumbled upon each other accidentally on purpose. Maybe it was due to the solitude mixed with the occasional hopelessness, but I looked forward to every second I spent with Danielle. If I judged by the soft smile she greeted me with every day, it wasn’t such an impossibility that she did, too.
“Your leg and knee are still healing, and knees are tricky things. When we get your quads strong enough, you’ll feel much more stable.” She patted the table to motion me over. “It won’t feel the same for a while, but each day will get better.”
I hobbled to where she stood and pushed myself up by my arms, my insides jumping like a kid at Christmas. After a long and grueling session, Danielle reached for a jar of lotion and massaged my leg from my thigh down to my ankle. She had gifted hands, and my dirty mind along with my neglected dick pondered what else she could do with those hands.Or what I could do with mine.
“Hey, I’m happy I canwalk, period. I first learned to walk about twenty-six years ago; I can relearn.”Could I be a firefighter again and pull on eighty pounds of gear and run into a burning building?Danielle said she’d get me back on the truck, and ever since the accident that was all I wanted, but I tried to taper the line between hope and fooling myself.
“The human body is an amazing thing. The way it can heal, come back, sometimes stronger than before.” Danielle’s hand glided up and down my leg with the perfect pressure. I held in a moan as her palm dug into my aching muscles. “My goal is still to get you back on that truck, and I see nothing that would make that change.” A smile curved her lips before her eyes darted away. Her chest expanded before she took in a quick breath and dropped her gaze.
My eyes followed to where hers had been and then clenched shut at the realization. Track pants hid nothing, and sometimes I liked the leg massages a bittoomuch. I kept my eyes closed as I listed the Yankee world championship years in my head long enough to bring down the bulge in my boxers. When they popped open again, a blush had crept up over Danielle’s cheeks. It was so fucking adorable, I almost gave thanks for my bum leg, since that was the only thing holding me back from taking a fistful of that gorgeous dark hair and covering her mouth with mine.And deep breath, 1996, 1998, 1999 …
“So, I did all right today?” I quirked an eyebrow and laughed at her pursed lips.
“Fishing for compliments?” She crinkled her nose and draped a hot washcloth over my leg. Damn, that meant my session was over.
“Let’s say, if I did okay today, you buy me a Dr. Pepper tonight?”
She froze as she lifted the warm terry cloth. It was one thing to plan in our heads to meet after therapy, another to make an actual date out loud. A cafeteria candy date. Sad and pathetic, maybe, but I needed to see how she’d respond if I suggested it.
“I don’t know how you drink that crap. But if that’s what keeps you on track, sure, I’ll be a sport.”
I laughed. “I like when you’re a sport. It’s cute.” Of course, I wasn’t happy with that one little win. I needed to push.
She shook her head and let out a long sigh. “Yeah, I’m cute as a button. Keep it up, and I’ll make you walk double laps tomorrow.”
