“Hey, Peanut,” Dad called to my sister as he dug into his pocket. “I think I saw a vending machine at the end of the hall. Would you mind getting me a bottle of water?” He handed her a couple of bills and nodded to the door with his chin. “Why don’t you take a walk with her, Ella-Jane?” He narrowed his eyes at my mother before she finally nodded. Dad was about to tear me a new one and didn’t want them to see.
PJ’s cheeks were still reddened with rage while her eyes filled with tears. My fiery little sister was ready to blow. She looked between Dad and me before she grabbed the money from Dad’s hand. Her mouth opened to say something as Mom pulled her away by the arm.
“Let’s go, PJ. I could use some candy.”
PJ gave us a cursory glance before she took Mom’s hand and left the room.
I sank back in my wheelchair, my eyes pinned to the floor, as an unnerving silence fell over us.
“Dad.” I lifted my gaze and spoke first, trying to find the right words that wouldn’t come. “I’m so—”
“Did I ever tell you what happened the night of the … of when you got hurt?” Dad leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
I stayed silent and shook my head.
“After your lieutenant called us, I piled your mother and sister in the car, and we headed for the hospital. Your sister sobbed the whole way. Your mother and I had to keep yelling at her to breathe. Your mom didn’t cry, just shook like a leaf in the passenger seat until we pulled up.” He took in a deep breath before leaning back and crossing his arms.
“I’ve been on the job since I was your age, but I was only ever on one call when the floor collapsed.” He swallowed as he shook his head. “It didn’t end well; let’s put it that way.”
He rose from his seat and crouched in front of my chair.
“So, we pulled up to the hospital; I’m still telling your mom and sister that you’ll be fine, this happens more than you think, any other bullshit my mind cooked up at the time. But me? My gut twisted a thousand times over. All I could think was—” His voice cracked as he squeezed my shoulder. “—what am I going to do without my son?”
I slumped even lower as I peered at Dad, my hero, the bravest man I’d ever known, with unshed tears filling his eyes.
“We rushed in, and they led us to you. You were unconscious with a badly broken leg. I’ve never been so relieved in my life. I thanked God, my parents, your father, that we still had our boy. Whatever shape you were in—you were alive, and I knew you’d be okay.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Okay is a relative term, I guess.”
“I’m not making light of it. You have a long road ahead of you, but you’ll come through. I know it seems like one shitty break after another.”
My life for the past few weeks was a parade of shitty breaks: broken leg, dislocated knee, torn up muscles, and an ex-girlfriend who didn’t even wait until I was fully out of anesthesia to dump me.
“But you’re tough, and you’re a survivor. But the chip on your shoulder will only set you back. It’s time to drop it, son.”
“What if…” I trailed off, unable to admit my biggest fear. “What if I can’t go back?” All I’d ever wanted was to be a firefighter. I was alive, but I had no idea if I’d ever get back the life I wanted. It had all slipped through my fingers the moment I fell through the floor.
“You’re young and healthy, and this place will put you through the wringer.” He laughed as he cupped the back of my neck. “If for any reason you … can’t.” He shrugged. “You can’t. You’re more than a firefighter. You’ll figure it out. And you’re alive. It may seem you were dealt a bad hand, but it’s a gift, Jack.” He stood and kissed the top of my head. “And if you ever speak to your mother and sister like that again, even though I love you and I’m grateful, I’ll slap you upside the head regardless if you can walk. Got it?”
I laughed for the first time in I couldn’t remember how long. “I got it, Dad. I love you guys, too. And I’m sorry.”
“Here, Dad.” PJ’s squeaky and reluctant voice drifted into the room as she held up a bottle of water. “And they had Reese’s Pieces.” She ambled over to me and dropped the bag into my lap. “I know they’re your favorite,” she mumbled, refusing to meet my eyes.
Some big brother I was. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a hug. “Thanks, baby sister.” I kissed her cheek, and she relaxed into me. “I’m sorry, Peege,” I whispered.
She nodded after she pulled back, swiping away the couple of tears she didn’t think anyone saw.
“We probably should get back.” Mom came over to me, her smile wider than I’d seen in a long time. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” She dropped her hand to my shoulder. I picked it up and laced our fingers together.
“Talk to you tomorrow, Mom.” I kissed the top of her hand, and her eyebrows shot up.
“Did we miss an exorcism?” she asked Dad with a furrowed brow.
“Sort of.” He laughed and gave me a pat on the back. “Talk to you tomorrow, Jack.”
I watched as they left. Dad was right; being a jerk wasn’t going to help me. My head fell back and I studied the ceiling. I was frustrated, uncomfortable as hell, and so mad at my girl—ex-girlfriend I couldn’t let myself think about it for too long. The urge to get up and throw something wasn’t exactly cathartic if I needed crutches to do it.
But my dad had a great point. Despite all I’d been through, there was one thing I couldn’t ignore.
