I dropped the papers onto my desk and leaned back in my chair in shock. “Go for it? Is that what you just told me?”
“Jack was always a decent guy. Maybe back then I wouldn’t have been too happy about it, but you need to move on, little sister. The longer you don’t, the more I fight the urge to knock your ex-husband’s teeth down his throat.”
“He’s my patient. That’s all kinds of unethical, and I’m not supposed to talk about my patients, anyway. I shouldn’t have told you about Jack to begin with. Let me finish up, so I can go home.”
“All right,” he relented. “I love you. You know that, right?”
“Yes, and I love you, too. Now, if you’re done annoying me for the evening, I have work to do.” I smiled as I ended the call.
I guessed my secret crush as a kid wasn’t so secret. I’d always scrambled for excuses to be around when Jack came over with their other friend, Dylan. I was only two years younger than they were, but in those days, it had seemed like a lifetime between us. Jack had been tall and gorgeous and always so damn nice. His grip had tightened on my heart with every smile he’d given me. I’d even counted them. Yes, Icountedthem. The first time he’d called me “Dani,” my heart leaped into my throat. The notion of being close enough to Jack for him to call me by a nickname was almost too much for my lovesick self to take.
We moved from the Bronx to Harrison, outside the city, right before my junior year of high school. Kyle moved on to make other friends and had lost touch with Jack, and neither of us saw him again. I grew up, got married and divorced, but when I received my patient roster a couple of weeks ago, I was catapulted back in time. Jack deserved the best of me—without distraction—so I shelved my childhood feelings as far away as I could. He was the old object of my affection, but my current patient. Reality over fantasy.
The last time I’d let fantasy take over, it hadn’t gone so well. I’d spent most of life in the background, even after I’d gotten rid of the thick glasses and severe braids. One day, a gorgeous older man noticed me, or made me believe that he did. I allowed myself to be swept off my feet and be fooled into thinking I was loved, not being duped. Every sweet word and touch had been a complete, humiliating lie.
The wounds of that betrayal had never scabbed over; the only thing that soothed me since then was isolation. Running into my old crush, the boy I’d compared every male I’d encountered to until I was in college, rattled me more than I could hide. Kyle wasn’t wrong, I needed to move on. I just didn’t know how.
It was nine o’clock by the time I wrote up my last batch of notes. I could have met Leanne at the bar, but socialization didn’t entice me tonight—or any night. My brother wasn’t wrong; I needed to get out there, but I didn’t have the desire or the energy. I ambled down the hallway to the cafeteria. It was closed, but the vending machines were still on. I’d get a diet orange soda and some chocolate then head home.
The empty slot for Peanut Butter M&Ms taunted me through the glass as I dug around my bottomless purse for exact change. I’d have to settle for something else, but I couldn’t find anything smaller than a twenty-dollar bill.
“Need some change?”
I let out a scream at the unexpected deep voice behind me. When I whirled around, I found Jack sitting at one of the tables, his crutches propped against it. He smiled when his eyes met mine.
“How did you get in here?”
He let out a long sigh and leaned his elbows against the table. When his leg exercises were done today, I let him hang out in the gym for light, upper body weight training. I did my best to ignore the ripple of muscle in his already cut arms as they flexed. I blinked and dropped my gaze to the floor. I worked with good-looking men all the time and was never star-struck or intimidated. The history, or lack thereof, I had with Jack messed with my head at times. I fought it by being extra snippy and tough, but my insides still melted into gooey mush when I peered into his baby blues.
“I whittled a gun out of my bar of soap and overpowered the guards.” He pulled out the chair next to him. “My room is only three doors down. I have a better handle on the crutches, so I thought I’d venture out for a change of scenery.” He motioned to the vacant seat. “I don’t have any extra change on me, but I can share what I have. Why don’t you join me?”
“Thanks for the offer, Jack. But I …” I trailed off.But what? I can’t socialize with patients? I can’t stay late or without the control I have during our sessions? I’m jumpy as fuck and don’t know where to put my hands?I feared my little girl adoration was morphing into adult-sized infatuation. The chair next to him might as well have been a flashing danger sign. When it came to men, I was all thumbs. That was something I’d never outgrown, and the past year since the divorce only made it that much worse.
He laughed and shook his head. “Just sit, Dani.” Dani.Holy shit.Whenever he called me that, it still unnerved me in the best way.Pathetic. Some things never change.
I slid into the seat, willing away the heat in my cheeks before Jack noticed and surveyed the variety of candy on the table. “Still hooked on Reese’s Pieces?” I asked as I reached into the bag and grabbed a handful. “Didn’t Kyle used to call you E.T.?”
“Yes, ball breaker that he was. Meanwhile, he ate the whole bag.” Jack handed me a bottle of water. “How is he?”
“Good.” I nodded. “I actually just spoke to him. Do you still see Dylan?” I stole another piece as I studied Jack’s face. The dirty blond bristles surrounding his lush mouth and shadowing his cheeks drove me to distraction. Time had been extremely good to Jack. The man was even more beautiful than the boy had been, and fighting to ignore that on a daily basis exhausted me.
“Yeah. I think he’s coming up here with my sister at some point this week. I actually miss that little pain in the ass.”
I laughed. “I guess all brothers think their little sisters are a pain in the ass, right? I know Kyle did.”
Jack waved me off. “You weren’t, trust me. Dylan and I never minded having you around. PJ is like those little Chihuahuas that yap all the time.” His smile faded before he brought his eyes back to mine. “But I love her and have been a shitty big brother lately. Another late night?”
I shrugged. “Paperwork. A lot of patients; a lot of notes.”
“You’ve said. Your boyfriend must get pissed.” Jack raised an eyebrow as he took a swig of water.
A sad laugh fell from my lips. “No, my husband doesn’t care anymore. Our divorce helped with that.”
He cringed and drew back in the chair. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s fine.” I dropped my gaze to the table. The last thing I wanted was to discuss Cliff with Jack. I didn’t want to discuss Cliff with anyone. There was no way I could spin that story to make me look like anything but a gigantic and gullible jerk. There wasn’t only another woman, but another wholefamily.
“You’re doing pretty awesome with the crutches now.” I shook off the burn of humiliation that always heated my cheeks whenever I remembered the phone call that upended my life. For the moment, I welcomed Jack’s distraction. “Makes my job easier when the patient works hard and is agreeable—most of the time, anyway.” I gave Jack a half smile.
