He shrugged. “I don’t have one.” He rubbed his belly, I guessed to cover up the growl he couldn’t muffle.
I reached into the box and pulled out the foil-covered sandwich. “Do you want mine? I wasn’t going to eat it anyway.”
His mouth twisted as he squinted at me. “You don’t want it?”
I shook my head. “I only really wanted the cupcakes.”
Josh laughed as he took the sandwich from my hand. My nose crinkled at the black under his fingernails. My mom always made me scrub my hands when I got them that dirty.
“You only want cupcakes for lunch. That’s funny.”
“I love cupcakes.” I glared at Josh with folded arms. “And Ihateham and cheese.”
“Okay, Cupcake,” Josh said through a mouthful of cheese and meat.
“My name isBrianna.” I stomped my foot under the table. “Why did you punch Vinny?”
“Because he made you cry.”
I let my arms go and unwrapped my first cupcake. “Where are your friends?”
“I don’t have any friends,” he mumbled as he continued to chew.
“I can be your friend.” I lifted my head all the way up and turned toward Josh.
He smiled at me for the first time. I was too young to have a heart pitter-patter in my chest, but I thought he was beautiful all the same. I’d never seen anyone smile with their whole face.
I took a big chomp of my cupcake, making us both giggle when the cream inside smeared on my nose.
“Sure . . . Cupcake.” He laughed again as he finished my sandwich.
I glanced around the room, not caring anymore who was there. From that day on, it was only the two of us. As long as I had Josh, I didn’t need anyone else. I fell in love with Josh the minute he punched someone solely for making me cry; I just didn’t know it until I was much older.
Right before I lost him.
Brianna ~ Thirteen years later
ME:I’m outside. Either come downstairs or I ring the bell.
NOTHING SET Aperson up for rejection like showing up unannounced. But if I’d texted before my arrival I’d get no response, so why should I have bothered? I was a hell of a lot braver on the short walk up the block from my house, all sorts of emotions fueling every step I took until I sprinted the last few feet.
I planted myself on his bottom step until I heard the creak of the screen door opening.
“Brianna, just go,” Josh snapped as he glared at me from his front door.
I glared right back as I leveled my gaze. “No. I won’t ‘just go.’ After all these years, I deserve something. ‘Thanks for sticking by me.’ ‘Goodbye.’ ‘Go fuck yourself.’ We’ve been best friends since kindergarten and you’re leaving for boot camp—or so I heard—tomorrow. Respect me at least that much, won’t you?”
Josh raked his hands over his face. “I’m doing you a favor.”
I stepped back and shook my head. “A favor? Throwing me aside like I’m no one is a favor? You’re real generous, Falco.” I folded my arms over my heaving chest.
His jaw clenched as he trudged down the stairs. He stomped through his days with an ever-present chip on his shoulder, but the sour expression he gave everyone else couldn’t fool me. I saw beyond the hardened edges and malice that he did his best to put forth to everyone else. With me, he was just Josh. My best friend. The best friend who was leaving me forever without a word.
“What about finishing high school? You can’t just leave!” But, in reality, he’d left a long time ago. He hadn’t been to school in three weeks and his locker was cleared out as if he was never coming back. Even before that, I hadn’t seenmyJosh in months. The angry jerk who stood in front of me wasn’t my best friend, but I couldn’t stop hoping that he was still in there somewhere.
“I did finish high school. Got my GED today.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and gave me an annoyed shrug as if it was no big deal at all. Maybe to him, it wasn’t. I was the only one devastated in our now one-sided friendship.
“Why didn’t you just stay to finish like the rest of us? What’s the rush?” My voice shrieked as panic filtered through my system.
