A sad smile lifted her cheeks. “Thank you, Drew. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t come—”
“There was nowhere else for me to be.” I grabbed her hand, smiling at her gasp when my lips found the top of her wrist.
She kissed my cheek before turning down the hall. “You wear me out, Kostas.”
“And I think I’m in love with you, Caldwell,” I confessed when I was sure she was out of earshot.
The couch was comfortable, but I couldn’t sleep a wink. The temptation to coax Sara out of her daughter’s room to finish what we started earlier consumed me. But I kept reminding myself that moving forward didn’t mean at warp speed. I still had the nagging feeling our kiss was the product of her heartbreak tonight, but there was no way for either of us to deny that constant undercurrent between us—not anymore. I couldn’t and wouldn’t push her, but she felt so damn good in my arms. I smiled to myself thinking of her slumped against me after I kissed her senseless. Now that I had a taste of Sara on the opposite side of the friend zone, I wanted her even more. Tossing and turning on the sea of blankets Brianna left out for me, I willed my mind and keyed up body to slow the fuck down before I squinted at a sudden flood of light.
“Hey, sorry!” Josh whispered before setting down a toolbox in front of the couch. “I wanted to make sure Vic was in a dead sleep before I came out.” He tiptoed over to the love seat and slid a box out from behind it.
“I thought this was the perfect place to hide this until the damn blanket kept sliding.” Josh laid all the metal pieces inside along the carpet.
“New bike for Christmas?” I rolled up to sitting.
“Yeah, this has been . . . well, it’s been a long year for her. A lot of adjustment. We came into her life, and her mom went away to school. I went overboard this Christmas, I guess.” He shrugged as he settled onto the floor and with a quick precision, had half the bike assembled before he even turned back to me.
“You’re pretty quick,” I noted on a yawn. The day was catching up to me, the adrenaline pumping through my system finally subsiding and giving way to exhaustion.
He snorted as he tightened one of the wheels. “I should be. I do this for a living. I run a custom motorcycle shop. When I get bored doing office crap I hang out in the garage and get my hands dirty.” His eyes darted to mine a couple of times, his mouth twisting with each glance as if a question was on the tip of his tongue.
“How long have you and Sara been together?”
“Oh, about . . .” I took a dramatic glimpse at my watch. “Four hours, maybe?” I laughed until he leveled his eyes at me. “We’ve been . . . good friends for a while. I didn’t expect that to change when I ran over here tonight, but—”
“I’m glad you did,” Josh interrupted, still fixed on the almost finished bike. “She flew out of here and none of us knew what to think.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, resting my elbows on my knees. “The second she called me, I grabbed my jacket and my keys and flew out of my aunt’s house. She . . . doesn’t usually ask for help—”
“No shit,” Josh snickered, and I couldn’t help laughing with him.
“For her to actually call me, it had to be pretty damn awful. I hate this for her. She’s . . . she doesn’t deserve it. Any of it. I know you all had your issues, but Sara is . . . so much more than what her parents made her believe. I didn’t know the half of it before tonight, but she’s had it pretty hard.”
“We know that. She took care of Vic all alone all that time. I admire the shit out of her for it. I’m glad we moved past all of . . . well, I’m sure she filled you in. They both deserve a good Christmas, you know?”
“Absolutely.” I offered a smile, still noting Josh’s intense stare, another unspoken question dangling between us.
“You love her, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I admitted for the first time.
“I thought so. Good. I’m happy I don’t have to have the ‘if you hurt either of them I’ll twist you like this bike’ speech.”
I laughed and answered with a slow shake of my head. “Nope. You never have to worry about that. If she gave me a chance, I would—”
“You have a chance right now.” He planted a bow on one of the handle bars before rising from the floor and lifting an eyebrow at me.
“Now, the rest is up to you.”
Sara
THERE WAS NOTHINGlike waking up more exhausted than when you went to sleep. Christmas Eve drained me in every way possible. I laid on top of the air mattress, eyes wide open, since four o’clock. My weary mind replayed everything in full detail on a torturous repeat reel: my sister’s voice, my mother’s rejection, my kiss with Drew, my second kiss with Drew. I fought the urge to head into the living room and cuddle next to him on the couch for most of the night. I needed him and called for him. I never called for anyone, and my lack of hesitation scared the shit out of me.
I shouldn’t have given into my feelings for Drew for so many reasons. He said he didn’t care about our age difference, and I knew he meant it. Maybe it’s just seven years, but right now at this point in our lives, it was a pretty damn significant amount of time. He was in grad school, starting his life with a clean slate and bright future. I was in a much better place than I was and would graduate with a lot more options, but I had a past and baggage that put us in completely different places in life. I hated referring to my daughter as baggage, but she would always come first. I would never be as free as other women because I came as a package.
But, despite still feeling it was wrong, I didn’t regret kissing Drew. During all those hours awake, I tried to reason away my loss of inhibitions as a knee-jerk reaction of digging up old family wounds. Maybe that pushed me, but I wasn’t simply seeking comfort. I’d denied myself love for so many years because they made me believe I didn’t deserve it. I missed out on so much in life, partially because of being a parent, but more because I never felt lovable. Drew made me feel lovable and sexy and wanted. Standing in the street in the middle of a snowstorm, I gave in with a kiss—and I didn’t want to stop.
Careful not to wake Victoria, even though she’d be up any minute now, I crept out of bed and tiptoed into the hallway. I made my way into the kitchen, inching the refrigerator door open to grab the French Toast Casserole and pop it into the oven. I winced at the creak of the oven door as I shoved it in. As I waited for the oven to beep before I set the timer, I peered out the window behind the sink. Flurries still blew over the mounds of fresh snow, still white and pretty before the air got to it and it turned gray and dirty. Maybe it was a magical white Christmas after all.
