“You can’t be that indifferent if you’re driving four hours to see him.” I was met with a long silence, unusual for Drew.
“Well, I guess the kid in me is hopeful. Like this will be the time he’ll come through and show he gives a shit about me. I suppose I’ll never lose that completely.”
I nodded but stayed silent. I was familiar with wasted hope. Each year I’d hope my parents would see Victoria’s Christmas picture and contact me. I’d allow myself until New Year’s before I’d give up. Unlike Drew, I couldn’t say I was indifferent. The resentment was fresh and never faded.
“Yeah, I hear you,” I sighed into the phone.
“Did you text your sister?”
“No, and she texted again last night. I feel horrible because she has nothing to do with how my parents treated me, but . . .” I couldn’t complete that thought. I wanted to see her so badly it ached, but the fear over another rejection from my parents paralyzed me. “Makes me awful, doesn’t it?”
“No, Caldwell. You aren’t the awful person in this situation. They are.”
I smiled and shook my head. “You always know the right thing to say.”
“I just speak the truth. Things going okay with Josh and his wife?”
“Yes, and no.” I exhaled a long breath and cupped my forehead. “I found out I was even meaner than I thought. And they’re way too fucking nice about it.”
“You aren’t mean. Don’t make me come there and straighten you out.”
I coughed out a laugh. “I think you’d even agree with me on this one.”
“No, I wouldn’t.” His tone hardened. “Because I see you for who you are. And you’re so much more than you ever give yourself credit for.” I fought the urge to melt against the counter from the resolute sincerity of his words.
“Drive safe, okay?”
“I will. Merry Christmas Eve, Caldwell.”
A large grin split my mouth. “You too, Kostas.” I ended the call and drifted my thumb down the screen. Foolish, wonderful Drew. I fought hard to not let myself fall in love with him, but I feared I already lost that battle.
“Good morning,” Brianna yawned from behind me.
“Good morning,” I replied, a little wary. She was hurting, and I, although unknowingly, poured a fresh stream of salt on her open wound twice. How did this woman not despise me? She had countless reasons. Not only for the way I acted, but who I was—the woman who had a child with her husband, a child she couldn’t have.
“Wow,” she mused as she scanned the kitchen. “Look at all of this. What time did you wake up?”
“Nerves prevent me from sleeping late. I guess heading from shift to shift, I still have the inclination I have to be somewhere.” I let out a nervous laugh. “Everything is done for tonight.”
I offered a tense smile, studying her reaction as she slid into a seat at the table.
“You are a life saver. Thank you for making dinner for us. Cupcakes are done, right?” She gave me a genuine smile, but her eyes clouded with sadness.
“I’m . . . sorry.” I swallowed as Brianna regarded me with puzzled eyes.
Once she realized what I meant, her gaze fell to the coffee cup in her hand as she nodded. “You didn’t know. And I need to deal with this better than I do sometimes.” She exhaled a long breath as she shook her head. “Nothing to be sorry for.”
“Yes, there is. There’s a shit ton to be sorry for. You’ve shown my daughter nothing but love and I was too bitter and resentful to appreciate it. And if I had known . . .” I trailed off, scrambling to find the right words.
Brianna adjusted her long, blonde ponytail before turning to me with a raised brow. “You wouldn’t have pointed out how I wasn’t Victoria’s mother . . . if you knew I couldn’t beanyone’smother.”
“How do you not hate me?” I couldn’t hold in my grimace.
“Again, you didn’t know. We came along and although we never meant to get in between you and Victoria, I could see why you resented us. I don’t know how you did it alone for so long.”
“I wonder that myself.” A real laugh fell from my lips.
“And, if I’m honest, Iama little jealous of you. You have something I don’t with Josh, and never will. Even if we try another way and succeed, it won’t be the same.” She bit her lip and looked away. “It’s a bitter pill to swallow sometimes.”
