“She is a fighter until the end.” Josh shook his head as he sauntered into the kitchen. He gingerly lifted her out of the chair and cradled her limp body in his arms before he carried her down the hall. An odd warmth washed over me at the sight. He had no idea she existed until she was eight years old, but he loved her fiercely.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt. Just making some tea.” Brianna fluttered in and grabbed the tea kettle. “I guess you guys had a great day.”
“We did. I never got to have fun with her like that.” I sighed as I leaned back in my chair. “I owe you both a lot.”
She waved me off. “She’s a joy. We love having her here and are happy to help you out.” Brianna fiddled with the stove until the burner came on.
“I never told you congratulations.”
She offered a wistful smile. “Thank you. Not exactly sudden, but it was time.”
“Josh said the same thing, exactly.” I rolled my eyes but smiled. “You guys are like two peas in a pod.”
“We were always like that. For the most part, anyway. I don’t know if Josh told you, but we met in kindergarten.” She sat across from me and rested her elbows on the table. “What are you making?”
“Chocolate cupcakes stuffed with cream. You know, like the Hostess ones. Victoria said those were your favorite. I’m guessing as much since Josh calls you ‘cupcake’.”
Her jaw went slack as her eyes went saucer-wide. “You know how to bake Hostess cupcakes? This is the best Christmasever.”
I laughed at the wonder in her expression. “Seriously, thank you for taking such good care of Victoria. I bet you guys can’t wait to give her a brother or sister.”
The smile drained from Brianna’s face as the tea kettle whistled behind her. She took a sharp breath through her nostrils as if she was fighting off a sob.
“Your tea is ready, Cupcake.” I jumped at Josh’s voice behind me. I didn’t hear his approach or know how long he’d been standing there. Their eyes locked and had the same pained stare.
“I . . . um . . . don’t think I want it anymore. I’m kinda tired. Thanks for the cupcakes, Sara.” She shot up from her chair to shut the burner off before Josh pulled her into his chest, whispering something in her ear. She nodded before giving him a long peck and rushing out of the kitchen.
“Josh, did I say something wrong?” My brow furrowed as he fell into the seat Brianna had bolted from.
“Brianna can’t have children. We found out a few months ago. Most days she’s okay with it or does a good job of pretending to be. I think seeing Victoria get all excited about Christmas and the fun you guys are having—” He jerked his head toward me. “Not that she’s mad at that. She’s happy you’re here for Victoria and that you guys are having such an awesome time together. It’s just making her think and remember more than she’d like.”
“I’m so sorry, Josh. I didn’t know—” I stiffened, feeling the blood drain from my face and praying I was wrong about a sudden realization. “The day I came to get Victoria after they went to the mall . . .” I left out ‘and screamed bloody murder and told Brianna she’d never be Victoria’s mother.’ “Did she know?”
Josh didn’t look up as he gave me a slow nod.
“Oh, God.” I clutched my chest in horror. “Josh, I’m . . .” My flour covered hands raked through my hair as panic seeped into my veins. How could I be so cruel? Victoria was the light of my life, and it saddened me to know Brianna couldn’t have children of her own. “I didn’t know, I never would have—”
“Water under the bridge, Sara.” He reached over and squeezed my wrist. “She’s not mad at that and neither am I. Well, I’m not mad anymore.” He quirked an eyebrow and we shared a laugh.
“Have you . . . looked into other ways?”
He cocked his head back and forth. “Trying to. She doesn’t like to look into it because she’s afraid she’ll be disappointed.” He let out a long sigh. “Breaks my fucking heart. You don’t know how good she is. How much love she has to give.”
“I know,” I agreed. “I hated her for it at the beginning, but I’m so grateful now. She’s too good of a mother for the universe not to come through. Even deep in my cold heart, I believe that.”
He snickered. “You aren’t cold. Tough. I admire that, believe it or not.”
“Right,” I scoffed. “I wish there was something I could do.”
He rose from his seat. “Cupcakes are heading in the right direction. I’m going to head to bed. I don’t want her to be alone too long when she’s like this. I’m excited for our Christmas Eve dinner! I’ll make sure to save my appetite.” He rubbed his stomach with his inked hand. “Goodnight, Sara.”
“Goodnight, Josh.” I wiped my hand on a dish towel as my phone buzzed across the table.
Drew: How’s it going? Have you moved out of their kitchen at all?
Me: How do you know I’m in the kitchen?
Drew: . . . really?
