So many things were racing through my mind, but the one person who should have been there—my boyfriend—wasn’t even in the same zip code as my haggard brain tried to make sense of what I was feeling.
“Don’t,” I whispered, my gaze falling to my hand still in Josh’s but making no effort to pull away. “It was a long time ago—”
“It doesn’t matter. I let my life go to shit and lost everything. If it wasn’t for Uncle Billy stepping in—” Josh dropped our hands to the table, but never let go. “You were the only one that stuck by me, through everything. I wanted to be a better man. For you.” He sighed as he let go and took a swig of beer. “Even when I was hundreds of miles away, you were still there.”
I shrugged before tears pricked my eyelids. “You’re my best friend. There was nowhere else for me to be. I never would have left you, no matter what you did.”
“I know,” he whispered as he placed the bottle back onto the table. Josh raised his eyebrows. “I’m still your best friend?”
“Of course, you are. Why? I’m not yours?” In the blink of an eye, we regressed from twenty-eight to twelve.
“Well, yeah, of course. But I figured you’d have done better as far as friends went after I was gone.” Josh laughed with a sad smile. “I wasn’t exactly nice to you before I left.”
I shrugged. “You never scared me, Falco. I had friends, yes. More in college than high school. Going away to college was a dream come true, even if it was only to a different borough.”
Josh frowned as he rested his elbows on the table. “I didn’t want that. You went to the prom at least, right?”
“If you’re still hungry, I can order another pizza.” I stood from my seat at the table and turned toward the refrigerator. “I think I still have cold cuts—”
“Bri . . .” Josh growled as his jaw ticked.
“Fine,” I groaned. “No. And I didn’t care. I didn’t want to buy a stupid dress for a night with stupid people I didn’t like. I went to my college formal, if that makes you feel better, and it was lovely. Happy?”
“No.” Josh leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “When it got really tough, the only thing that gave me the slightest bit of comfort was that you were happy here—without me. Not always sticking up for me and the latest fight I was in or going after people whispering behind my back. I wanted you to have a good, normal life.”
I inhaled a deep breath and folded my hands in front of me, lifting my gaze to meet his. He thought leaving was doing me a favor, but it took years to move forward from the devastation. A “good and normal life” wasn’t possible for me for a long time.
“Seeing you here, like this. The way you and I used to be before things got—” My nose burned as I blinked back tears. “That’s what makes me good and happy.”
It was so many years ago, but talking about life with Josh as kids, and losing him, picked off a painful scab.
Josh lifted his gaze as he took my hand and laced our fingers together again. “How about we make up for lost best friend time? Make sure I hold onto my title.” My heart fluttered as he arched an eyebrow.
“I’d like that.” The smile on my face faded as our eyes locked. He had another title back then, one I never could admit to out loud. Memories trickled to the surface—the happy ones instead of the melancholy ones I usually dwelled on. He was my childhood love, and I had the best of him back. Love isn’t real when you’re that age, but the butterflies that took off in my stomach as I gazed at him now didn’t seem to know the difference.
Brianna
“MMM . . . DO WEhave to get up?” Scott pulled me into his chest where we lay squished together on my love seat. His hand trailed down my back and settled on my ass before giving it a squeeze.
I giggled and lifted my head. “We’ve been lounging around all day. Getting home late doesn’t mean we can sleep my birthday away.”
Scott surprised me last night with a fancy birthday dinner he admitted he booked two months in advance. He’d been working 24/7 at the new company he started with his brother, and I’d spent more nights than I wanted to alone as of late. After so many canceled dates, I learned to think of all plans as soft unless he confirmed in the afternoon. All I wanted was a night with Scott and nothing but his undivided attention, and I couldn’t have cared less if we ate at McDonald’s.
“Besides, Josh should be here with my cake any minute.” I raised an eyebrow. I wanted Josh and Scott to get to know each other, and my birthday seemed like the perfect opportunity. Scott’s reaction to my request had been lukewarm. He tried his best to appear aloof, but I knew better. Since Josh came back and we were spending time together, my boyfriend wasn’t exactly on board. He never outright said I couldn’t have a friendship with Josh, but he didn’t seem to understand it, either.
“He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know you. I get this is probably weird for you—”
“I . . .” He trailed off as he brushed my hair off my shoulder. “I’ve never believed a man and a woman can be just friends. Especially when the woman looks like you.” He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap.
“Please,” I rolled my eyes. “I should have my mom show you pictures of me as a kid. I was a chunky, mousy mess.”
He cupped my neck and tugged me closer. “Ididsee. Your mom showed me your eighth-grade graduation and sweet sixteen pictures. You were gorgeous and only got more beautiful as you got older. I can’t understand Josh spending all that time with you back then and never wanting more.”
I didn’t know if Josh ever wanted more. Wanting more wasmyissue as a kid, but admitting that to Scott would torpedo our night before it even started.
The knock at the door halted my response. I slid my hands to the back of Scott’s neck and pressed a long kiss to his lips, nipping his bottom lip as I pulled away. I chuckled at the growl escaping his throat.
“Be nice. It’s my birthday.”
